"I tell my friends that if I am ever unconscious in the hospital that they BETTER make sure to get the HAIR OFF MY CHIN. Do NOT have me laying there looking like Grizzly Adams. I don't care if they have to smuggle in a razor, wax, Nair, or tweezers - GET IT OFF! I can deal with being in ICU on a vent with hairy legs, but BY GOD GET THE HAIR OFF MY FACE. If I wake up and I have a goatee, I AM KICKING THEIR A$$!!"
Seriously though, if you had to write your own orders in the event you ended up in ICU or the ER, what would you say? What would want or not want?
Pluck my eyebrows daily.. I definetly don't want to wake up with the unibrow.. there would be hell to pay!.. ditto on the chin, and well.. you gotta shave the armpit hair once in a while. and as long as i'm being unreasonable.. please paint my toenails.. fingernail too if you have time
Unwanted hair is a big one, and I do not want anyone to repeat anything I might say while talking in my sleep. And no wise cracks about snoring or farting either, or I will getcha.
Teeth brushed, hair fixed, etc etc but I MUST have my armpits shaved, bath & body works bath, and good TV channels (nick at nite, law& order reruns, etc)! Also, can't miss the O'Reilly Factor on Fox News!!!
MSO4 gtt under my control/discretion (self euthanasia, if desired)
SONY playstation for distraction
My dog allowed to visit whenever
Red wine
New Skete kalua cheesecake
books, lotsa books, NY Times
Hot as I can stand bubble baths with scented candles burning
Classical music, acid rock, punk, funk, blues, jazz...everything EXCEPT rap.
My family and friends, around a lot to visit and enjoy all of the above and time alone, to relect, until I flip the MSO4 gtt to high and drift peacefully...away....towards the light....
A list , very short one folks!, of the docs who are allowed on the floor while I am a patient. Then there is the even shorter list of the docs who are actually allowed in my room and to take care of me. I have one from each specialty picked out.
Dog with me at all times.
Big fat bag of MS04 and a gallon jug of Diprivan. Absolutley no paralytics!!!! I don't care how snowed I am.
An alias on the chart and board and my door. Do not want sightsee'ers trapsing thru the room all day long.
This has really gotten me thinking. I guess if anything were to happen to me now, these are the things I would like.....in no particular order:
1. a room w/ no hospital smells
2. flannel sheets (I get cold easily)
3. a double bed so my husband could come in and snuggle,
spoon and whatever else
4. mystery books on tape
5. my cats and dog to visit me
6. not to hospitalized in June or July (new residents)
7. no nursing shortage
And....if I live long enough to have nothing horrible happen to me and end up in a nursing home with no teeth, I want my chips and dip to be pureed!! And I want pepsi on my lunch and dinner trays. And don't even tell me about a NCS or low salt diet. No siree...don't even go there!!! :chuckle
DEMEROL!! IV, ORAL, RECTAL- WHO CARES- JUST GET IT IN AND KEEP IT COMING.........plus, my boom box with every Janis Joplin CD that I own blasting away (and maybe a couple of ZZ Top and some Grateful Dead, and oh yeah, don't forget my Blues Brothers album). Oh, I could be a happy, happy girl.
"I tell my friends that if I am ever unconscious in the hospital that they BETTER make sure to get the HAIR OFF MY CHIN.
I'm serious about the chin hair
OMG! My sister told me the same thing! :roll :roll :roll
She had a friend in a coma and was mortified for her and had me swear I would bring tweezers to the hospital and pluck her chin should she be in the same predicament.:imbar
LasVegasRN
835 Posts
:rotfl: :rotfl: