Uncooperative visitors (rant)

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Gotta vent, guys..... I've shared my frustration with our 'open visiting' policy and our management team's lack of support if family complains for ANY reason. Our jobs are so complex plus we have dysfunctional family in our faces in critical care...it is overwhelming some nights like last night...

Acute MI via ER....sick, vomiting (inferior posterior wall) junctional escape rhythm and low cardiac output symptoms. I am trying to get the doctors in to get him to cath lab for tx, pacer, IABP. I have 8 feuding family members all demanding my attention, in procession in and out of the room despite my instructions. Several cry, keep him stimulated despite my repeated instructions, and wring their hands over Daddy who now is sure he is dying. I finally round them up and say one last time"I need your help so I can help him. Limit stimulation. Let me do my job. Please sit quietly. I will update you further when I have him stable and make arrangements for him to get what he needs." Fuming at me, one daughter snaps. "We're only asking questions" and promptly reports me to the supervisor. They continue to pester me and my patient so I insist they leave. I get a 15 minute reprieve, then see later they have snuck back into the room, totally ignoring me again.. Finally I get the sleepy cardiologist and CCL crew in and get the patient to cath lab for needed tx but at the end of my shift, my exhaustion is due to this FAMILY...which is SOOOO wrong...my PATIENT should be my priority , NOT the screwed up, no common sense family who actively interfere to meet THEIR needs!!!!

The problems with this family continue from shift to shift. They fire the next 2 shifts of nurses then demand the patient be transfered to a hospital 'with competent nurses' (GRRRR) The doctor refuses, too unstable....by this time we'd have been thrilled to see them go believe me.

Of course the management team is picking apart the nurses' behavior....we have failed to make this family happy, even though we are saving their loved one's life, that is not the priority. The 'customer service' scores have suffered. :o

What has happened to my profession? What has happened to common sense of people who refuse to HEAR and cooperate when their loved one is in crisis??

Thanks for listening...all done now. o

Specializes in ICU.

Unfortunately this is what you get when "customer service" takes over from "patient care". Draw the analogy for managment - if the hospital were a department store and the customer came in with XYZ relatives and these relatives through misbehaviour prevented the sales staff from not only serving the customer in a timely manner but other customers as well - would they, the sales staff, be taken to task for not upholding customer relations?? Would a department store tolerate interferance with customer service - after all it does not pay to ignore an actual customer to deal with potential customers.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

It is a shame. Too bad you don't have the support you need. Because when the came into the room that last time, they should have been escorted off the premises.

Even though the hospital has a relaxed visitor policy, in the critical areas the nurse usually calls the shots. (no pun intended I swear) my first call would be to the supervisor the second to security. Let security come up and handle it. If that doesn't work, try the corporate assassin.

Originally posted by BarbPick

Even though the hospital has a relaxed visitor policy, in the critical areas the nurse usually calls the shots. (no pun intended I swear) my first call would be to the supervisor the second to security. Let security come up and handle it. If that doesn't work, try the corporate assassin.

Exactly.

I know they worry, but when they endanger the patients well being, they are out.

Bless your heart...

I haven't had to deal with anything of this caliber since I work in LTC, but I have an issue with family members who come in demanding this and that, acting like i am some sort of incompetent boob who knows absolutely nothing about their "loved one", when in reality, this is the first time they have shown their faces to visit that "loved one" in the 2 years since I have worked there.:(

Now THAT makes me mad!:(

Specializes in Case Management, Acute Care, Missions.

Oh - I can definately sympathize with the OP. My first job as an RN was at a "customer service at all costs" type of place.... UGH! Now I work at a trauma/county hosp and the families are way worse but.... we have strict guidelines for visiting hours etc, and my nurse manager backs us up all the way!

What gets me going is when the families think they are at the stinking Hilton - we actually had a procedure pt come in yest and her family was very upset because we couldn't get them a bed to sleep in while she was gone for the hour/while she was on post-angio precautions.....

My "favorite" family story is... this pt came in with a mandible fx - VERY stable (I work on an observation/short stay unit) and was just waiting for surgery. The family was very demanding... I want something to eat/get me juice/ etc, etc etc, when we tried to set limits then they would just go and help themselves... to both food and supplies! The nurse who had the pt tried to be really nice and let 1 person stay with her... hoping to appease the situation - well 2 stayed the night - brought their jammies and everything! One was wearing a chemise type thing and kept running down to ER dressed in only that because some other family member was brought in with a GSW. They constantly had other family members trying to come up to see her in the middle of the night and we finally had to tell security - no more, neadless to say - they weren't happy about that. At one time security called to inform us someone was coming up and to let us know that when they searched her (they do this after hours) they found drug related items, I could hear her yelling at the guard - "You can't tell her that - it's HIPAA" - the guard just laughed at her and said she wasn't a pt so deal with it..... It was insane.... at one time we had security up on the floor with hands on guns because this family was being so abusive to our manager. My manager is soooooo awesome and has always backed us up 100% - but after that, she backs us up with visitors 125%!!!!

Definitely thinking hard about a move to a more supportive environment of practice. We are left hanging out to dry when these situations occue...security will seldom intervene and supervisors are wishy washy and nonhelpful (they will get no support from THEIR bosses if they offend)

What I have been seeing lately is when this kind of thing comes down, the nurses are counseled by our patient care representative to 'be more caring' in our dealing with familes. Administration considers family as important a customer as the patient which I cannot agree with. They pacify them to the nth degree. I've also heard my coworkers become gleeful gossipping about another coworker who is in trouble due to patient/family complaints...so the dysfunction and lack of support is spilling over... :(

Again thanks for listening and understanding...and Merry Christmas! :kiss

I HATE the idea of patients or their families as customers. They are not customers and this is not Burger King. :( People need to remember where a nurse's priorities lie: WITH THE PATIENT!!! I find this topic a little frustrating at times now that I work with babies. It is amazing how some parents get angry when we won't let them disturb their children.

I had this happen a few months ago a young primip was in for an induction for an IUFD and i swear there must have been 20-30 family members there in the room all lined up against the wall watching this poor girl suffer like it was some kind of sporting event :( of course the pt was completely out of control and when another nurse and myself asked them all to wait in lobby they left for approx 3 min and were right back in there the 2nd time I not so nicely told them that they were not allowed in the room at all, they started cursing us up and down the hallways and one of the younger (teenage) girls tried to get in the room again I simply said "look I know you may not like it , but you are not coming back in this room and if you dont stop right now I will call the police and have them remove you from the premises." THen they all went home. (of course I didnt do this in front of the pt)

Im sorry that the OP doesnt have the kind of management that I have, I have no idea if this fam complained or not but Im sure they did but have never been taken to task for it. And wouldnt really care if i was because I know I did the right thing.

Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho.

Do you have pastoral care to draw support from? When we have situations like this we have a great team of hospital chaplins that come in and sit with the family and act as a go-between for family and staff/patient. It works great, we call the chaplin, give him a rundown of whats up over the phone and he comes in and will sit with family, counsel, etc until things settle down. They truely are a great asset to our hospital for this very thing, and are great at smoothing ruffled feathers.

You have my sympathies. You did a good job for your patient. God help him when he is d/c'd if these people are going to help him recover. Scary. Maybe they can fire each other then.

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