Tubal Ligation Failure

everthesame, LPN, LVN · Apr 12, 2010

An OB I worked with once said if you have an ovary and sex you could get pregnant. We were talking about another OB's patient who got pregnant after having a tubal ligation.

I can understand your feelings. I don't know what I would do if I found out I was pregnant...actually I do know what I would do. I would freak out. But I think I would eventually get past that and start working on a plan for the future. What else can you do?

kids · Apr 12, 2010

I don't know, it seems like their are a few posts trying to make the OP feel bad. The world is unfair for a zillion reasons, I just don't think then when someone is obviously upset about a pregnancy, that is the place for the comments about how unfair things are or how they should be thankful and so on.
Maybe it's just me.

It's not just you.

I am blessed to have 3 children but I suffered several pregnancy losses. I had a ligation of my one functional fallopian tube because I couldn't cope with another loss. When my youngest was 13 I had an unexpected pregnancy. It was emotionally devastating. When you're done having babies and have taken what you believe are definitive steps to prevent another it can be very hard to see it as a blessing.

mamamerlee, LPN · Apr 12, 2010

You are in shock, upset and depressed about your new circumstance. This was not what you had planned, and had taken appropriate steps to prevent this very situation from occuring.

You may need some brief counselling to help you absorb this blow to your world, and help you regain your footing. There is nothing shameful about this - you are ENTITLED to regaining your mental health.

Please find someone non-judgemental to talk to, to cry on, to help you sort out your feelings.

Take good care of yourself, and best wishes.

allnurses Guide · Apr 12, 2010

I am 37 and have two; I had a tubal ligation after my second child was born. I don't know how I would feel if my husband and I had a "woopsie" like you have had. I think a big part of me would actually be happy, but another part would be like "oh my goodness, how will we ever afford this, how will we handle three kids, we can barely handle the two that we have...".

Like a previous poster, I sometimes have those "urges" and overall I'm glad that I've taken the step to at least TRY not to have any more.

In any case, I'm sorry that this has happened to you. I have this funny feeling though, that once this all sinks in, this little "surprise" could indeed be the light of your life. =)

HisTreasure, BSN, RN · Apr 12, 2010

I understand how OP feels. I hope my post didn't come across as trying to make her feel bad because I certainly WAS NOT. Another pregnancy would devastate us emotionally, financially, and physically. I almost lost my last daughter and the pregnancy prior to her was only a smidgen better... :sniff:

I posted my experience so that she knows she is not alone and even more importantly I wanted to GET CHECKED to make sure the baby was not going to pose a risk to her health. It's scary being pregnant when you have absolutely NO desire to have another child. I understand that. It's even scarier when you're dealing with those emotions and then you find out, almost too late, that said pregnancy is endangering YOUR life. I wanted to help her avoid that second part.

OP, you are entitled to your feelings. You are welcome to post your frustrations, fears, regrets, and whatever else. There will always be someone who is worst off, who is offended, or who takes your post the wrong way. Please don't let that hinder you. I wish you the best. PM anytime if you want to talk. :heartbeat

krisjazzer13 · Apr 12, 2010

My mother had a tubal ligation after having me and my brother (she was 35 after my younger brother was born)...fast forward a few years down the road and she gets pregnant in her early 40s, totally surprised, thought she was going through early menopause at first! She was mostly worried about having a healthy baby and was excited even though it was unplanned....the only thing she didn't care for was when people would ask her if she was 'grandma'! My parents started coloring their hair after that...

Conqueror+, BSN, RN · Apr 12, 2010

This must be like a roller coaster for you. I understand the planning with 4 kids already. I applaud your decision to have and love this baby no matter the circumstances. If you get exhausted I volunteer to babysit for free. Send the little bundle on over anytime and hang in there :)

ktwlpn, LPN · Apr 12, 2010

For the child's sake I really hope you get help to get over those feelings-and quickly.I believe that carrying that kind of energy does harm the fetus-not to mention the emotional damage that can be caused to the unwanted child as he or she grows up.We've all seen that.
Don't mean to offend but when you post on a public forum you are going to get all kinds of feedback as this thread has already shown.
Good Luck

nohika · Apr 12, 2010

For the child's sake I really hope you get help to get over those feelings-and quickly.I believe that carrying that kind of energy does harm the fetus-not to mention the emotional damage that can be caused to the unwanted child as he or she grows up.We've all seen that.
Don't mean to offend but when you post on a public forum you are going to get all kinds of feedback as this thread has already shown.
Good Luck

I kind of disagree with this, I guess. One of my dear friends accidentally got pregnant - she's never wanted to get married, never EVER wanted kids, etc, though her boyfriend of three years (almost four) wanted kids desperately. She carried the kid to term and he's now almost three months old. She may not be super enthusiastic about it, but that doesn't mean they'll neglect the baby at all. She takes amazing care of him and basically mothers him like anyone else would. Just because they aren't wanted means they'll be neglected. I truly believe she'll be an amazing mother - people just grow to learn from circumstances, whether you hate them or not. I have, and I believe the OP will - it may not be what she wanted or what she expected, but she'll make the best of it. There's no choice at this point.

BabyLady, BSN, RN · Apr 12, 2010

I can imagine the shock..somewhere I read (and those that are more knowledgeable, please correct me if I am wrong)...that there are two ways of performing a tubal...you can "tie" them off or clip and caurterize them...the later is supposed to be completely irreversable and has virtually a zero failure rate.

CT Pixie, BSN, RN · Apr 12, 2010

My Aunt has three children. The oldest was a birth control pill baby, obviously the birth control pill failed. Her husband then had a vasectomy about 9 years after the baby was born. Then my Aunt got pregnant with the 2nd baby not too long afterward. She had her tubes tied. Got divorced, remarried and bam! got pregnant with her 3rd (and last) baby.

We all tease her telling her that although *she* had no plans of having more than one child, higher powers that be had it in *their* plans that she would.

To the OP, I wish you the very best. I'm sure its a huge surprise and shock that you are now pregnant. You took precautions to avoid this and it didn't work, you shouldn't feel bad about not being thrilled about this. But i'm sure when the newest family member makes their arrival, you will nurture and love this newest member as you did you other children. My 2nd daughter wasn't planned, took precautions to avoid it, but now, I cannot imagine my life without her.

BluegrassRN · Apr 12, 2010

Ugh, OP, that is one of my nightmares. I had a tubal for a reason, and it would be devastating for our family if I became pregnant, emotionally, financially, and health-wise. I always feel a little ill when I hear stories like this.

I'm so sorry. I hope things work out for you (it sounds like they will). Just wanted to give you a cyber hug. What an emotional time for you.