Tired of being angry

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Our patient population is tough - many people with chronic health problems but also lots of (too many) people playing the system. They're demanding, most likely drug seeking, malingering.

I find myself driving to work telling myself I'm going to give my patients my best. Then I'm assigned some frequent flyer who either shouldn't have been admitted or is back because they continue their self destructive behavior or they've been totally non-compliant. And I could deal with any of that (I'm not a perfect person and I don't do everything I should most of the time) but they're so manipulative. And demanding. I hate the drama. I feel like I'm running up and down the hallways all day, administering PRNs to people who tell me they have 10/10 pain who, while they may have some discomfort, are nowhere near 10/10.

I know I'm teetering on the edge of burnout and I do have some time off scheduled. Meanwhile, how do I find a way to compartmentalize my frustration and anger? I need to find a better way to cope with this now and after my very much needed vacation. I know many of you struggle with the same frustrations. How do you keep it from eating at you? I'm tired of being tired and angry.

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Just do your job, then go home and count your money. "Let the world be the world."

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If they all stay at home you would not have a job and be dead broke.

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Specializes in Medical-Surgical/Float Pool/Stepdown.

Honestly...I float...it might be similar drama each shift but at least it's not on the same floor with the same patients and staff members!

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Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

I hear you. One of my mottoes was: "Don't work harder on someone's behalf than they're willing to work for themselves." That may not get you out of running around doing all the tasky stuff, but maybe it'll help you stop turning yourself inside out for people who can't be bothered for themselves. Boundaries and prioritizing are important. You can teach yourself not to be controlled by non-stop manipulation and demands.

One day enough will be enough; everyone has their limit. I'm lucky enough now to be working with a fantastic population. Hang in there while you can; don't look back after you've found the exit. Good luck.

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Your disdain for these patients has parlayed into anger. No going back now.

If you feel yourself burning out on this unit...find another position! Buff up the resume, scour the job boards to see what's out there.

Who knows... you could be doing what I'm doing. Sitting at home in my jammies, denying those admissions.

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Specializes in Registered Nurse.

I think what you are feeling is common! It has become the way of the world, so to speak. It's not being dealt with, and quite the opposite at times! All I can say is- you are not alone! Take some time off and realize that you put your time in and go home. Try to realize you are only one person and can't be everything to everyone or control everything that goes on. There is not enough time or enough hands to do it all. I have to tell myself this everyday!

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Specializes in ER.

I agree with do job, count money. Don't take anything personally. DON'T run down the halls! Walk at a steady, reasonable pace. Have a pleasant, detached manner.

Just think how great your life is compared to a pathetic frequent flyer. They have nothing positive going on in their lives other than bad habits and milking an enabling system. It's sad.

STAY DETACHED! You are playing the role of concerned nurse. Play it well!

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Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
I agree with do job, count money. Don't take anything personally. DON'T run down the halls! Walk at a steady, reasonable pace. Have a pleasant, detached manner.

Just think how great your life is compared to a pathetic frequent flyer. They have nothing positive going on in their lives other than bad habits and milking an enabling system. It's sad.

STAY DETACHED! You are playing the role of concerned nurse. Play it well!

I like the "pleasant, detached manner". Perfect!

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Specializes in Long Term Care, Expert Witness.

You need to remember that you are a NURSE, not a JUDGE. When we become nurses, we vow to do it with compassion for ALL, regardless of what the ailment, self-inflicted or not. It reminds me of a story of 2 patients. Both had broken limbs from falling accidents. One was 70 years old, the other was a 46 year old alcoholic. When it came time to review the referral for admission, the admissions nurse wanted to deny the 46 year old. "Why?" I asked. She replied, "Because he's a drunk who fell off a ladder-he shouldn't have been on the ladder in the first place." So I asked, "So does that mean he shouldn't be allowed to have rehab for his broken leg?" I got no answer back. We took the patient and he was a model citizen who completed his rehab and went home. Don't let your mind question whether or not a patient deserves care or not. Treat all patients the same, with compassion and dignity. It's also not wrong to set limits with manipulators and demanding patients. You can politely but firmly let them know that your job is not to be manipulated or run ragged. That you will provide care and meds as necessary but that you won't be used and abused. Hope this helps-I know it's hard to keep sight of why you became a nurse when these difficult situations arise.

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When I stop to think about the times I have been a patient, I have met many a nurse who was "pleasantly detached". I will bet that not one of those nurses walked around with the job angst that is usual for me. Something important to be learned from these people.

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Just think how great your life is compared to a pathetic frequent flyer. They have nothing positive going on in their lives other than bad habits and milking an enabling system. It's sad.

I still find this hard to do. Yes I know my life is awesome compared to their pathetic lives. I have a roof over my head, I eat good food, I go to the gym, I can buy expensive electronics (my weakness, forget about clothes and shoes), and I can go anywhere I want to providing I have the time.

But I still find myself getting pissed off that I pay into a system that these losers milk to the very bone. I work my ass off, and they don't do anything. I've never utilized government benefits, but if I ever needed to go on welfare or get food stamps, I would be hosed. Benefits are denied to so many who do need them and at the same time you have these losers who also have a damn Samsung, while taking benefits.

Since I am finding it hard to not get angry at these people, I am slowly working on moving away from direct patient care. It's the best thing I can do.

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