Thank You for Nothing - page 2

As nurses, it’s our job to make patients better, to improve their lives in some way. For acute care nurses, the goal is to help patients recover from an illness, surgery, or accident. Rehab nurses... Read More

  1. Visit  IEDave profile page
    13
    Yep - 1st post!

    Speaking as a family member who went through what you've described - there's quite a bit more to that "nothing" than you may realize. No - you can't always save a patient, and we family members recognize that, even though we may be remiss in saying so. But, one of the things I found (and ultimately caused me to decide to join the ranks of the nursing profession) was that there comes a time when you have to switch over from seeing the person in the bed (or crib) as the patient, to seeing the person next to the bed (or crib) as the patient. They're the ones you can help, and just the simple act of a pat on the shoulder can mean so very much to those stalwart, exhausted, and ultimately loving folks who take on the challenge of standing by their loved one when it's their time to go.

    So - on behalf of all the families who've been there, are there now or who are going there - a heartfelt "thank you" for helping us in our ultimate time of need.

    Blessings,



    IEDave
  2. Visit  VivaLasViejas profile page
    19
    Quote from mindlor
    Just as I expected, a few replies with nothing more than personal attacks with nothing further to add that has any intellectual basis or value....sad
    Really? This from the person who admittedly stopped reading [the article] after the first sentence...........

    Sorry for the brief hijack. Please carry on.
    Last edit by VivaLasViejas on Nov 5, '11
    LovedRN, nkochrn, Sparrowhawk, and 16 others like this.
  3. Visit  Do-over profile page
    15
    Lovely article.

    I find it difficult to see the futile care that is sometimes inflicted on patients (often elderly in my case). While I do know how difficult these situations are for families, it is also difficult for us. I love that this post shows me that I am not alone in struggling with these feelings.

    I hate the nights when I have to pray that a particular "full code" patient does not code on my watch - simply because it would break my heart and my spirit to have to do it.
  4. Visit  nerdtonurse? profile page
    14
    I'm sitting here with tears on my face. I know what that situation's like with adults who are in our ICU for months, repeatedly coded when there's nothing good we can do except to stop "doing," and I can't imagine how heartbreaking it must be with a child. And, like Do-over, I've had nights at the bedside where I am silently pleading with the patient and God that they not code until the family finally understands that all a code is going to do is hurt, not help. Many a night I've watched monitors and falling vital signs, praying, "Please, don't make me do this..." It's bad enough to witness this at the end of life, and I can't imagine what it must be like to see this at the beginning....great article about things that needed to be said.

    And as for the other stuff....well, the ignore button works wonders. *sigh*
  5. Visit  Do-over profile page
    1
    Quote from IEDave
    Yep - 1st post!

    Speaking as a family member who went through what you've described - there's quite a bit more to that "nothing" than you may realize. No - you can't always save a patient, and we family members recognize that, even though we may be remiss in saying so. But, one of the things I found (and ultimately caused me to decide to join the ranks of the nursing profession) was that there comes a time when you have to switch over from seeing the person in the bed (or crib) as the patient, to seeing the person next to the bed (or crib) as the patient. They're the ones you can help, and just the simple act of a pat on the shoulder can mean so very much to those stalwart, exhausted, and ultimately loving folks who take on the challenge of standing by their loved one when it's their time to go.

    So - on behalf of all the families who've been there, are there now or who are going there - a heartfelt "thank you" for helping us in our ultimate time of need.

    Blessings,



    IEDave
    Great first post! Thanks, its nice to hear.
    hereicome likes this.
  6. Visit  Cynica profile page
    1
    Great article I passed our local board exam, now waiting for my license and I want to be a pedia nurse in a pedia ward or a PICU nurse. The child is not the only one needing care here in the scenario of the article, but also the family. We nurses should be strong, brave and be prepared for such cases which are emotionally draining. I am thinking to myself... what if something like this will happen and how can I be therapeutic to these family members? A Patient who is under "CODE" and then has a negative outcome can be really saddening for the family members but when the nurse becomes a partner to the acceptance for the loss or in a way, be a comfort person, I think it can be helpful to lessen their pain.
    Ashley, PICU RN likes this.
  7. Visit  elthia profile page
    7
    Quote from IEDave
    Yep - 1st post!

    Speaking as a family member who went through what you've described - there's quite a bit more to that "nothing" than you may realize. No - you can't always save a patient, and we family members recognize that, even though we may be remiss in saying so. But, one of the things I found (and ultimately caused me to decide to join the ranks of the nursing profession) was that there comes a time when you have to switch over from seeing the person in the bed (or crib) as the patient, to seeing the person next to the bed (or crib) as the patient. They're the ones you can help, and just the simple act of a pat on the shoulder can mean so very much to those stalwart, exhausted, and ultimately loving folks who take on the challenge of standing by their loved one when it's their time to go.

    So - on behalf of all the families who've been there, are there now or who are going there - a heartfelt "thank you" for helping us in our ultimate time of need.

    Blessings,



    IEDave
    Caregiver role strain is often mislooked or forgotten, whether it be with the parents of a child with developmental difficulties, a child of a parent with dementia and multiple comorbidities, a spouse of a pt with multiple chronic health issues.

    A family is a tightly meshed unit, and one that is strained beyond the breaking point is one in which functional grieving cannot occur. Illness, infections, hospitalizations are stressful upon the entire family unit. Sometimes I don't think we have enough nursing diagnoses for the families of pts, nor anywhere near enough resources.

    When I have a family sitting in patient hospice that grows close to me, it is the most exhausting nursing I can do. I can say I will always do everything in my power to make it as good a death as it can be. Death doesn't have to be an ugly event. If I can guide the family through the stages of grief to where it is accepted, and to where it is not a traumatic event. Where it is a sigh, a whisper, with holding of hands, a kiss...then I have done the pt a favor, and eased the role strain.

    For those family that choose to do everything, I will say to them. "We did everything we could" I will let them have the comfort of knowing that they fought to the end. Just please don't let it happen on my shift. I so regret some of the codes I have had to do.
  8. Visit  rn/writer profile page
    12
    My dd#2 and sil have a blended family that includes two boys in wheelchairs--a 19 yo (his) with cerebral palsy and a 15 yo (hers) with spina bifida. DD has saved the life of the younger boy a number of times by insisting on speaking to a hospitalist or an attending when the ED resident doesn't "get" that this boy doesn't show a lot of typical s/s when he's in trouble. So far, so good, but he's come closer to the brink than he should have. (The senior residents--neurology, neurosurgery, pulmonolary, ortho, GI and renal usually give her their cell numbers and allow her to email pictures of surgical incisions or other things because they trust her judgment. She has never been wrong about the need for a shunt revision--and he's had a bunch--or an infected site.)

    My daughter and her husband are fierce advocates for their boys, and yet they both know that there may come a time when they have to let go. We cry even talking about it, but we understand that someday (far down the road, God willing) it could come to that point.

    I'm so thankful for nurses (and docs) who can see that help takes many forms and sometimes the help to let go is the best we have to offer.

    Thank you, Ashley, for a heartfelt article with so much wisdom.
    Last edit by rn/writer on Nov 6, '11
  9. Visit  maelstrom143 profile page
    2
    That was a truly beautiful article...thank you so much for sharing.
  10. Visit  canesdukegirl profile page
    3
    Very well written Ashley! Thank you for describing such a beautiful story.

    At the risk of sounding like e.e. cummings, sometimes nothing is everything.
  11. Visit  dscrn profile page
    0
    Human touch is very much "something"...it may not cure, but it shows the parent/patient that we care...
  12. Visit  resumecpr profile page
    1
    "It was the hardest nothing she would ever do."
    Simply amazing! So profound and touching. A wonderful read.
    Thanks
    LovedRN likes this.
  13. Visit  rdsxfnrn profile page
    0
    beautifully written, directly from the heart!

Need Help Searching For Someone's Comment? Enter your keywords in the box below and we will display any comment that matches your keywords.



Nursing Jobs in every specialty and state. Visit today and find your dream job.

Top
close
close