Nurse's vent!

Nurses General Nursing

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Specializes in Neuro ICU/Trauma/Emergency.

This is totally not workplace related, but I must vent in some open forum for individuals who have experienced the same issues.

I have been working as a RN for many years now, and have never been this disgusted with anyone, let alone my mother. My father, who suffers from hypertension, LDL, and a host of other issues, calls for advice on his medication. My mother, who I can hear clearly in the background, is chanting "you wouldn't ask a nurse anything in relation to your healthcare they're nothing more than someone who draws blood & take your BP". Insulted by her comments, I inform her of all the duties of a nurse ,& how we have been instructed clinically to practice patient education. She continues to tell me, only the doctor is allowed to prescribe medication(true unless you're an NP in the state of New York or APN) and if given the incorrect information by a nurse in a clinical setting there is only malpractice lawsuits for nurses.

Attempting to argue with a fool, my information falls on deaf ears as she is screaming over me. I also inform her, the nurse is the health professional generally carrying out the orders of the doctor in many clinical settings where they are available. She decides to rant about the nurses in her private doctor's office(whom are MAs) and how they're job is only to perform discharge without followup.

Although, I have been aware of this ignorant mindset prior to this conversation, when she asked to see my nursing license I was beyond insulted. She went on about nurses having general curriculum knowledge and little clinical experience.

By the time she arrived at the point of requesting my nursing license I was exhausted, and directed her to the NYBON.

Not to mention, I have a Masters in Health Information Management with the clinical knowledge of a PA, have worked on the directorial level in one of NYC's oldest hospitals for many years prior to practicing nursing, and provided physician training.

The world's views of nurses is appalling & insulting, to say the least.

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Specializes in ICU, Cardiac.

Sorry your mom doesn't respect you or your knowledge. Many hugs to you......:hug:

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Specializes in Neuro ICU/Trauma/Emergency.
Sorry your mom doesn't respect you or your knowledge. Many hugs to you......:hug:

Thank you! :hug:A hug was definitely in order.

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She's jealous of you, honey.

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Specializes in Med/Surge, Psych, LTC, Home Health.

Wow, what is your relationship with your mom like, in general? Sounds like you guys have things to work on and sort out. Best of luck to you.

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Specializes in Peds, School Nurse, clinical instructor.
The world's views of nurses is appalling & insulting, to say the least

I am very sorry that your relationship with your Mom seems so disfunctional but I must respectfully disagree with your last statement. Luckily, I think most of the world does respect nurses...;)

Kudos to you for being a highly educated nurse....you are an inspiration to our profession.

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Specializes in Neuro ICU/Trauma/Emergency.
Wow, what is your relationship with your mom like, in general? Sounds like you guys have things to work on and sort out. Best of luck to you.

To be frank, my mother and I have one of the worse possible relationships. I shouldn't be as surprised as I am in her antics, seeing as she has never been supportive of any of my decisions in life: good, bad, indifferent.

We have issues to iron out. But, at this point I am unwilling to be involved in the resolving of any issues. This has definitely been the nail in the coffin for me. If anyone in your life is condescending, unsupportive, or just ignorant without the effort to learn, I decide to continue trucking on my path. Definitely in this situation I am done.

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

What do your parents do for a living?

I am fortunate to have never had this problem with my family. I suppose that social class and socioeconomic status greatly factors into the reasons why my family loves the fact that I am a nurse.

I come from a very working-class family, and am the only child of 2 parents who did not attend college. My parents occasionally had financial struggles because their general skills were not all that appealing to the job market. Many people in my extended family network have dropped out of high school. In fact, the only college-educated people in my family are two cousins (one's an RN, the other has a BA in early child development). Keep in mind that I have about 50 or so cousins!

To my parents and other relatives, the completion of a nursing program is similar to completing medical school. However, my family is so far removed from the academic environment that they wouldn't even know what medical school entailed. I think my family's position on the economic ladder contributes greatly to their pride in my nursing license, because they view it as a 'step up the ladder.' They have never bothered me about being a nurse.

If a person has several doctors, lawyers, engineers, college professors, and other people in the family with advanced degrees, I am sure they would possibly be questioned about becoming a nurse. Moreover, I am sure that a nurse who hails from a very educated, upper middle class family would feel more pressure to aspire 'higher' and pursue graduate school than someone like me, who has a less-educated family.

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Specializes in Neuro ICU/Trauma/Emergency.
What do your parents do for a living?

I am fortunate to have never had this problem with my family. I suppose that social class and socioeconomic status greatly factors into the reasons why my family loves the fact that I am a nurse.

I come from a very working-class family, and am the only child of 2 parents who did not attend college. My parents occasionally had financial struggles because their general skills were not all that appealing to the job market. Many people in my extended family network have dropped out of high school. In fact, the only college-educated people in my family are two cousins (one's an RN, the other has a BA in early child development). Keep in mind that I have about 50 or so cousins!

To my parents and other relatives, the completion of a nursing program is similar to completing medical school. However, my family is so far removed from the academic environment that they wouldn't even know what medical school entailed. I think my family's position on the economic ladder contributes greatly to their pride in my nursing license, because they view it as a 'step up the ladder.' They have never bothered me about being a nurse.

If a person has several doctors, lawyers, engineers, college professors, and other people in the family with advanced degrees, I am sure they would possibly be questioned about becoming a nurse. Moreover, I am sure that a nurse who hails from a very educated, upper middle class family would feel more pressure to aspire 'higher' and pursue graduate school than someone like me, who has a less-educated family.

Hello, my mother is a venture capitalist at a large investment firm. My biological father, who passed early on, operated a family owned trucking company in New York. My step father operates franchise businesses throughout the tri-state area. They're fairly intelligent in their lines of work. But, they're so oblivious to the world surrounding them!

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Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.

Griffinchet, I'm truly sorry that your own mother is not aware that we nurses are more than a Phlebotomist & a bloodpresure police. However, it is a little more dificult to change older generations mind regarding our status in nursing. Moreover, it seems to me like your mother knows exactly what buttons to switch on, that makes you uncomfortable. Therefore, try treating her like a pt. ignore her comments, since you already tried to educate her without any success; it's easier said than done, but I have faith in you. Although, I use to have an aunt of mine long time ago, her views of nurses not to mentioned male nurses were very similar to your mother's. Certainly, I decided to swicth the roles, when she began to spread her venon, I said " Well at least I'm not just a little house wife" this got her insulted and never again she brought up the subject. By the way, before I get any hate responses I'm a single father plus I'm truly aware of how difficult it is the role of a housewife. Wishing you the best always, as I send you hugs from across the miles... Ciao~

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Specializes in kids.

Argghhh! It sucks not to have a good relationship with your mother....I feel your pain there....,my mom and I fought bitterly over a 3yr vs BSN program, I won (and now have my Masters in Health Care Admin)....she was a three year grad and was NOT happy with my choice (even though those programs were fading our int he late 70's when I was headed to school).

I went to a small Catholic college on the east coast and have a great career, but there is always a pullback on her end. She will say one thing nicely and supportive and pull back in the next sentence. She will tell people she is proud but undercuts a lot of what I have to offer, drawing attention to herself. No matter where we are in the health care arena,"I was 3 year grad of blah blah blah.." the school has been closed for 40 years! Current nurses have never heard of it and probably don't care either. I tend not to immediately identify myself as a nurse because I know how intimidating that can be but she will and say my daughter is JUST a school nurse......

Long story short, sorry I hijacked your vent!!! I hope you know how valued you are by your friends and peers. Try to hang on to that!

Hugs to you!

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Specializes in Neuro ICU/Trauma/Emergency.
Argghhh! It sucks not to have a good relationship with your mother....I feel your pain there....,my mom and I fought bitterly over a 3yr vs BSN program, I won (and now have my Masters in Health Care Admin)....she was a three year grad and was NOT happy with my choice (even though those programs were fading our int he late 70's when I was headed to school).

I went to a small Catholic college on the east coast and have a great career, but there is always a pullback on her end. She will say one thing nicely and supportive and pull back in the next sentence. She will tell people she is proud but undercuts a lot of what I have to offer, drawing attention to herself. No matter where we are in the health care arena,"I was 3 year grad of blah blah blah.." the school has been closed for 40 years! Current nurses have never heard of it and probably don't care either. I tend not to immediately identify myself as a nurse because I know how intimidating that can be but she will and say my daughter is JUST a school nurse......

Long story short, sorry I hijacked your vent!!! I hope you know how valued you are by your friends and peers. Try to hang on to that!

Hugs to you!

Thank you! I am sending all of my love your way, as well. I am glad I am not in this battle of the superior intellects vs. nurses alone. We have a lot to relate on, when it comes to our mother's presentation of our skills. I know what's kicking them(mothers) more is how we passed on corporate positions to work the jobs of blue collar(her words not mine) individuals. I will say this, a care facility can function without doctors, where would that hospital be without nurses?

Best of luck to you with amending relations with your mother.

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