This is totally not workplace related, but I must vent in some open forum for individuals who have experienced the same issues.
I have been working as a RN for many years now, and have never been this disgusted with anyone, let alone my mother. My father, who suffers from hypertension, LDL, and a host of other issues, calls for advice on his medication. My mother, who I can hear clearly in the background, is chanting "you wouldn't ask a nurse anything in relation to your healthcare they're nothing more than someone who draws blood & take your BP". Insulted by her comments, I inform her of all the duties of a nurse ,& how we have been instructed clinically to practice patient education. She continues to tell me, only the doctor is allowed to prescribe medication(true unless you're an NP in the state of New York or APN) and if given the incorrect information by a nurse in a clinical setting there is only malpractice lawsuits for nurses.
Attempting to argue with a fool, my information falls on deaf ears as she is screaming over me. I also inform her, the nurse is the health professional generally carrying out the orders of the doctor in many clinical settings where they are available. She decides to rant about the nurses in her private doctor's office(whom are MAs) and how they're job is only to perform discharge without followup.
Although, I have been aware of this ignorant mindset prior to this conversation, when she asked to see my nursing license I was beyond insulted. She went on about nurses having general curriculum knowledge and little clinical experience.
By the time she arrived at the point of requesting my nursing license I was exhausted, and directed her to the NYBON.
Not to mention, I have a Masters in Health Information Management with the clinical knowledge of a PA, have worked on the directorial level in one of NYC's oldest hospitals for many years prior to practicing nursing, and provided physician training.
The world's views of nurses is appalling & insulting, to say the least.
When someone in the family's been hurt in an emergency, who's the first person they're going to turn to? The "glorified waitress" NURSE.
LOL! Thank you! You just made my day all that much better.
I never thought I was anything other than a person touched by the higher being of the Universe to carry out the task that so many deem as miniscule, but they couldn't live without us. My mother's time will come when she will realize the values of a great nurse!
Suggest to your stepdad if he wants info, to call or email you when she's not around; if you can get written info for him, Mom will have less to argue about.
If she gets into it w/you, smile sweetly and back off. You will never win, and the fight doesn't do anyone any good. Esp you. It's not worth the "psychic energy".
It is interesting that, if they helped pay for your education, she doesn't have any respect for it. Surely she saw you carrying those books a few times.
Hang in there, I wish I had either/both of my parents around to pick a fight w/me.
I've been through a lot when I was in my early 20s. when I decided to reinvent my life, I told my family that i wanted to join nursing. My parents and my brother had doubts about my capability. To them, I'm always an inpatient, hotheaded child. but I decided to believe in myself because I know what I want for my life, what I want to do, and I think I know myself better than outsiders (although they are my family).
And then there comes my cousin talking down on me. When she saw that I now got a good job, make good money that at least allows me to travel overseas for holidays twice a year, and really live my life to the fullest (learn surfing in Bali, do bungy jump in Macao, ski in Australia, practise yoga, hangout with friends and etc), she started to make sarcastic and negative comments about me. This is what I replied to her:
i work so hard for my life, i think i deserve to have some fun for myself too!
Just because I don't do, be and live the way u want me to, it doesn't mean I'm less of a person.
Just because I know how to sing, it doesn't mean I can't dance.
Just because I'm fat, it doesn't mean I'm not allowed to do what I love.
Just because u hate ur life, it doesn't mean I have to make my life suck too!!
It seems like your mother is one of the many that think we just hand out pills and clean poo.
I remember a discussion I had, regarding the damage cocaine does to your heart, with someone once, where I informed them that I had knowledge in the subject at hand because I am a nurse on a cardiac critical care unit, he argued that cocaine isn't damaging to your health. He responded by telling me that changing sheets and cleaning bed pans doesn't imply medical knowledge. I know most people know that nurses do more than that, but there are a fair percentage of people, including patients, that give me a great deal of push back when it comes to the education portion of my job, because I'm just a nurse.
Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.
I hate it that she expressed such opinions to you. No matter how much we validate ourselves, some part of us still craves validation from our parents and the lack of it in such a vicious way would have to trigger some inner sense of anger and disappointment. That sucks.
I believe there are definitely more people in our communities who value, trust and admire nurses than the other way around. As long as YOU are good with what you are doing with your life, the validation of others is nice to have, but not necessary. However, internalizing that takes a lifetime of reprogramming for some of us. I always try to remind myself when someone I love hurts me that just because they don't love me the way I need them to doesn't mean they don't love me with what they are capable of giving to me at that time. It does not release them from the need to be a decent human being, but rather frees ME to move on from the hurt of the situation. It may not be enough, but at least if I see it as all they have to give rather than them withholding something I can heal myself from that deficit instead of buckling under something that feels so intensely personal.
Not sure if that is helpful or not, but I know that toxic relationships with our mothers can be very spiritually bruising. What you are doing is important to so many. I hope in time your mother comes to realize that, but if she doesn't I hope you have a firm internal knowledge of it for yourself. :hug:
If your mother ever needed someone to take care of her long term.....I wonder who she would call first?? I suspect it would be you. I'm sure all of a sudden you would be full of knowledge in her mind.
somedaypeds
107 Posts
Hugs.