This is totally not workplace related, but I must vent in some open forum for individuals who have experienced the same issues.
I have been working as a RN for many years now, and have never been this disgusted with anyone, let alone my mother. My father, who suffers from hypertension, LDL, and a host of other issues, calls for advice on his medication. My mother, who I can hear clearly in the background, is chanting "you wouldn't ask a nurse anything in relation to your healthcare they're nothing more than someone who draws blood & take your BP". Insulted by her comments, I inform her of all the duties of a nurse ,& how we have been instructed clinically to practice patient education. She continues to tell me, only the doctor is allowed to prescribe medication(true unless you're an NP in the state of New York or APN) and if given the incorrect information by a nurse in a clinical setting there is only malpractice lawsuits for nurses.
Attempting to argue with a fool, my information falls on deaf ears as she is screaming over me. I also inform her, the nurse is the health professional generally carrying out the orders of the doctor in many clinical settings where they are available. She decides to rant about the nurses in her private doctor's office(whom are MAs) and how they're job is only to perform discharge without followup.
Although, I have been aware of this ignorant mindset prior to this conversation, when she asked to see my nursing license I was beyond insulted. She went on about nurses having general curriculum knowledge and little clinical experience.
By the time she arrived at the point of requesting my nursing license I was exhausted, and directed her to the NYBON.
Not to mention, I have a Masters in Health Information Management with the clinical knowledge of a PA, have worked on the directorial level in one of NYC's oldest hospitals for many years prior to practicing nursing, and provided physician training.
The world's views of nurses is appalling & insulting, to say the least.
In a survival situation (i.e. natural disaster, desert island stranding, zombie apocalypse), who's skills are going to be more valuable to the community? You think that venture capitalist will be getting a lifeboat seat?
This cyber community is great! We all are able to relate to one another, and of course in these times provide sound advice. Helps to have some social interaction!
wow. im so sorry for you... honestly.... but i 100% agree with the above poster... I dont know you or your mom, but she is JEALOUS. yes, unfortunately moms do get jealous of their daughters......
My mom will occasionally say that because she takes care of my disabled sister, she does everything a nurse can do. And we have a great relationship. So I just ignore it.
A lot of people have no clue what we do. Not surprising that our families don't either. After all, on tv pretty much all we do is have sex with a doctor in a storage closet.
Griffin, I'm proud of your many accomplisments, and on some level your mom must be too, I think she just can't express approval, especially if there have always been issues. What a miracle you grew up to achieve so much with your mother working against you instead of for you. Still, don't give up on her, because it will only make you sad if you do. Just give and take whatever love she is willing to share with you, and realize her inability to recognize all your achievements, and her inability to be loving, are her problems, not yours. Hugs for you!
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
this is totally not workplace related, but i must vent in some open forum for individuals who have experienced the same issues.
i have been working as a rn for many years now, and have never been this disgusted with anyone, let alone my mother. my father, who suffers from hypertension, ldl, and a host of other issues, calls for advice on his medication. my mother, who i can hear clearly in the background, is chanting "you wouldn't ask a nurse anything in relation to your healthcare they're nothing more than someone who draws blood & take your bp". insulted by her comments, i inform her of all the duties of a nurse ,& how we have been instructed clinically to practice patient education. she continues to tell me, only the doctor is allowed to prescribe medication(true unless you're an np in the state of new york or apn) and if given the incorrect information by a nurse in a clinical setting there is only malpractice lawsuits for nurses.
attempting to argue with a fool, my information falls on deaf ears as she is screaming over me. i also inform her, the nurse is the health professional generally carrying out the orders of the doctor in many clinical settings where they are available. she decides to rant about the nurses in her private doctor's office(whom are mas) and how they're job is only to perform discharge without followup.
although, i have been aware of this ignorant mindset prior to this conversation, when she asked to see my nursing license i was beyond insulted. she went on about nurses having general curriculum knowledge and little clinical experience.
by the time she arrived at the point of requesting my nursing license i was exhausted, and directed her to the nybon.
not to mention, i have a masters in health information management with the clinical knowledge of a pa, have worked on the directorial level in one of nyc's oldest hospitals for many years prior to practicing nursing, and provided physician training.
the world's views of nurses is appalling & insulting, to say the least.
i've had a lot of experience both as a nurse and in a toxic relationship with my mother. by now, you surely must know your mother's opinion of nurses and nursing, so i have to wonder why you bother to engage her. you know she doesn't know what she's talking about -- she's never going to admit that. so don't waste time arguing with a fool. your mother's viewpoint about nurses is ignorant and insulting, but you have bigger issues with your mother than that.
my situation with my mother is well known on allnurses.com. over the years, there are times when i've been able to overlook the glaring issues in our relationship while enjoying the positives. and other times i cannot. strive for the former -- it's worth it. despite my toxic relationship with my mother for much of my life, we've had some good times together. she's in the late stages of alzheimer's now, and is pretty much beyond having a relationship. i'm glad i had the good times with her that i did, and was able to resolve some of the bad stuff.
When you continue to engage in a power struggle/verbal slugfest with someone you are well aware is more interested in backing you down than in truly communicating, you bear some of the responsibility for the ongoing friction.
I say that, not to be harsh, but to ask you why you would repeatedly put yourself on the chopping block when you know how this fight ends. Nothing good comes of letting her push your buttons. In fact, by letting her get your goat, you encourage her to keep behaving this way.
Is she jealous? Probably. Does she resent your success? Perhaps. Does she have a screw or two loose? Could be. But the reality is that it just doesn't matter. There isn't a good reason to continually try to undermine someone this way. There just isn't. Nor is there a good reason for you to keep locking horns with her when she comes after you.
So, what do you do instead? You change the subject; you ask her about her job (nicely, not confrontationally); you say something non-committal that appears to appease without, in fact, caving in (you could be right, mom) and move on.
You also ask yourself what your goal is here. Is it to pin her ears back and finally get her to capitulate and admit that you're right and she's wrong? Not too likely. Or is it to appreciate what you can about her and give up trying to prove things to someone who doesn't want to change her mind and can't admit when she's wrong. That is doable, and it doesn't require any help from her.
This is a situation where the only way to win is not to play.
I'm sorry you're having such a difficult relationship with your mother. At least your dad believes in you!
.If a person has several doctors, lawyers, engineers, college professors, and other people in the family with advanced degrees, I am sure they would possibly be questioned about becoming a nurse. Moreover, I am sure that a nurse who hails from a very educated, upper middle class family would feel more pressure to aspire 'higher' and pursue graduate school than someone like me, who has a less-educated family.
I am the nurse who comes from this family: Dad double degree engineer, Mom pharmacist, brother engineer, sister lawyer, and 2 of us nurses. We were never made to feel that being a nurse was anything less than professional (except by my highschool counselor who kept insisting my GPA was more med school than "just" nursing). As long as we were in college, that was good.
I understand what you're saying, just wanted to throw that out there. The OP's mom has far more issues than what degrees Griff has! {{{{{{griff}}}}}}
My mother in law does the same sort of thing. She takes medical advice from my sister who does transport in the hospital over me or her own doctor. My sister constantly says ridiculous stuff like "They don't have foley's at this hospital." My mother in law believes her.
Trust when I state, had I known this was going to end in the matter that it did I would have never even engaged her. I walked into this conversation blindly. Now I wish I would have hung up prior to hearing her condescending comments. But, you live and you learn.
This is truly the first time I have encountered this response from her, not from others. So, I wasn't expecting her to demean my profession as much as she did.
Now I have taken the lesson of not discussing anything medical related with her nor my dad.
Of course, I don't think even having an MD after my name would have made her more susceptible to my advice. So, in order to maintain my sanity I will avoid the plight!
BundokSaint
100 Posts
I look at it this way:
In a survival situation (i.e. natural disaster, desert island stranding, zombie apocalypse), who's skills are going to be more valuable to the community? You think that venture capitalist will be getting a lifeboat seat?