Not having kids until 35

klone, MSN, RN · Nov 9, 2015

All of a woman's eggs that she will release in her lifetime are produced when she is a fetus. As you can imagine, they do degrade over time, and the older she is, the greater the risk of aneuploidy.

On the other hand, men are continuously making new sperm, thus there is not the same concerns with an older male having offspring and the age-related risk of aneuploidy.

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · Nov 9, 2015

That's one way to put it. Another way is, the greater the chance your baby will have health problems.

That can be relative.

I know women who had children in their forties; the risk is there, however fertility testing and genetic testing will determine what your fertility and chances of complications or chronic health issues a child will be born with.

Working in Peds, females in their teens and twenties have children with serious genetic and complex medically fragile children, and know family members and coworker have children over 35 have children without health or intellectual disabilities; it's depended on fertility and genetics.

martymoose, BSN, RN · Nov 9, 2015

Disadvantages to waiting:

After 30, the odds go down in getting pregnant. After 35, 15 percent. After 40 , a 5 percent chance, and at 45 a 1% chance .

You will be the "older parents" when you go to your kids school functions.

Greater age= greater risk of complications. My coworker finally had her last IVF work ( at age 35) as she had tried for 2 years before unsuccessfully . She almost died from Eclampsia and HELLP , had to deliver her kid at 26 weeks. shes ok now, her kid seems ok so far.

Probably won't live long enough for your kids to have kids, and therefore will miss out on being a grandparent.

Eggs are not very good at advanced age- more odds of kid having problems, in addition to Down Syndrome.

Guys being older- I thought I saw a study somewhere that they were suspecting men have a decline in quality sperm too- more genetic booboos, and that schizophrenia and autism might be sperm quality based( too tired to look it up now.)

Not to mention if one waits too long and has to resort to IVF, unless you have insurance for it(most places dont) you'll be blowing anywhere from 10-40000 dollars on it, possibly to only be sadly disappointed if no results.Adoption is no better- around 40,000+

Donor eggs/embryo's are another very expensive option.

Yes, spontaneous pgs happen with older ages. The movie stars all have money for the best IVF's( Kim Kardashian, anyone?) But that isnt the average.

Eh,I looked it up anyway- for guys over 35

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/12/141201113406.htm

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · Nov 9, 2015

Disadvantages to waiting:
After 30, the odds go down in getting pregnant. After 35, 15 percent. After 40 , a 5 percent chance, and at 45 a 1% chance .
You will be the "older parents" when you go to your kids school functions.
Greater age= greater risk of complications. My coworker finally had her last IVF work ( at age 35) as she had tried for 2 years before unsuccessfully . She almost died from Eclampsia and HELLP , had to deliver her kid at 26 weeks. shes ok now, her kid seems ok so far.
Probably won't live long enough for your kids to have kids, and therefore will miss out on being a grandparent.
Eggs are not very good at advanced age- more odds of kid having problems, in addition to Down Syndrome.
Guys being older- I thought I saw a study somewhere that they were suspecting men have a decline in quality sperm too- more genetic booboos, and that schizophrenia and autism might be sperm quality based( too tired to look it up now.)
Not to mention if one waits too long and has to resort to IVF, unless you have insurance for it(most places dont) you'll be blowing anywhere from 10-40000 dollars on it, possibly to only be sadly disappointed if no results.Adoption is no better- around 40,000+
Donor eggs/embryo's are another very expensive option.
Yes, spontaneous pgs happen with older ages. The movie stars all have money for the best IVF's( Kim Kardashian, anyone?) But that isnt the average.

A few points:

These complications can come even in the age of twenty-men and women can have fertility complications, sometimes from having tenacious STIs, affecting vas deferens or Fallopian tubes.

Who cares if one is the "older parent??" seriously-one may be in good company, just sayin'...

My mother is old enough to be my grandmother and although she is one, may or may not survive to see my children, let alone my grandchildren...although a symbolic reference, it's not the end-all; my fiancÃ©e and I have both our maternal and paternal grandparents dead-that can happen in younger couples as well.

Again, it's relative.

Best bet is to know fertility and genetic profiling...which is lab work covered under insurance.

IVF is not always the 10,000-plus donation; sometimes the drugs are lower priced and with good insurance, can be covered-the only way one would kne is to have their OWN individual genetic and fertility work up prior to comparing risks and stats; there's no "one-size fits all" approach to one's own fertility.

BeachsideRN, ASN · Nov 9, 2015

I had my first baby at 34. He's healthy and happy. We might go for another when I graduate.

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · Nov 9, 2015

I had my first baby at 34. He's healthy and happy. We might go for another when I graduate.

My mom had me at 34; my aunt had her only child at 36.

We are both healthy...I was also considered a gifted child and was optioned to skip grades twice.

Having children in the mid 30s rocks!

I'll be 35 next year and am in the process of finding out my fertility levels as well as my fiancÃ©e's just so we can know-the initial testing is so far so good!

martymoose, BSN, RN · Nov 9, 2015

Ladyfree- you do make some good points- Yes, all those things I mentioned can happen in the under 35 group, I guess we just don't think about it as much.

I had my son at 35- hes ok so far (lol- hes a teenager now) but some of the school functions were awkward- maybe its a regional thing too, as a lot of the parents don't even look to be 35 (we're 50), its a rural school consisting of 4 towns.

I was an unexplained secondary infertility. we had wanted another, and after going through all the testing, etc. had no reasons except for age. we had excellent numbers- heck my FSH was still 4.4 at 40 ( forgot what estrogen was, but it was fairly normal)Did all the meds, timed, IUI's etc and got nowhere.( they were covered by insurance) IVF was never a consideration- too expensive(not covered)- we don't have that kind of money.

But oh well, to each his/her own E

For s and g's, my maternal gma had her last at 46 ( spontaneous- also had a total of 10 kids) and my paternal gma had my dad at 38. mat. gma died at 68 from HF, Pat. gma died at 70 from alzheimers complications.

Tex. · Nov 9, 2015

Dude. Do you you really, honestly, think that you are going to get sage advice about this HERE, NOW? Have kids early, have them late. Honestly, does it really matter? If you are worried about the genetic viability of your offspring, as a male you can worry much less than your potential female mates. Of more concern, since you are male, should be if you are worried about your kid being asked if you are his/her dad or grandpa.

Tex. · Nov 9, 2015

To clarify, we see A LOT of OLD MEN at student events. Because most of the dads are OLD AS DIRT. Are the females trophy wives or do they just look younger because males don't age well or because the women are just younger or do they use Botox?? I don't know. But at every event, I see age-appropriate-looking moms and old fart dads. Every time.

Libby1987 · Nov 9, 2015

I'm an *older* parent now with my last one in highschool. Funny though, my SO is a parent in SF where most parents in his circles are older having had their kids at an age later than mine.

poppycat, ADN, BSN · Nov 9, 2015

Disadvantages to waiting:
Probably won't live long enough for your kids to have kids, and therefore will miss out on being a grandparent.
Seriously?! My parents had my sister & me in their mid 30s. My dad lived to see 4 great-grandchildren.
I had my daughter at 33 & she's having our second grandchild in February.