My husband died Nov 8th

  1. Well it happened. After 6 mos of chemo for colon cancer, that was metastisizing to his liver all along, my dear Brent slipped into a coma Nov2, and died, Nov 8th, at the age of 47.. We met when we were teenagers. As we got older we went our separate ways, then we became re-united 25 years later, all because I had a dream about him, and acted upon it by phoning him up. It was love at first sight, again. We had five great years together. When we found out the cancer had spread to his liver, in that week we did the wills, arranged the memorial service, andgot married in our living room.We were going to get married after he recovered from his chemo, but of course had to speed things up a bit. But, the good news is I nursed him 24/7, and when he died it was in our bed, in my arms. I had just turned him, there was no mottling, his resps were easy, his extremities warm to touch, I snuggled up to him, kissed him, told him I loved him. I put my hand over his chest, feeling how strong and regular his heart rate was, then, his heart just stopped. There was no cheyne -stokes, nothing. Talk about a gentle peaceful passing. As he went, I felt a tingling sensation in my hand, which was laying on his chest. I get that sensation every now and then. It hits me head to toe, and then I get goosebumps. Maybe Brent is visiting me.I am trying to get through Christmas unscathed. It is a moment by moment process. Just wanted to let those of you who knew of my situation, know what has happened. Linda
    Last edit by leesonlpn on Dec 23, '02
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  2. 69 Comments

  3. by   Stargazer
    ((((((((Linda))))))))

    I'm so sorry. Please take care of yourself.
  4. by   Jenny P
    Oh, Linda, I am so sorry to hear this! My prayers and deepest sympathy are with you. I shall keep you in my prayers through this holiday season. It sounds like Brent went very peacefully, I'm glad you were there. And isn't it wonderful that you were able to have those 5 years together? I don't know what else to say except I'm sorry it wasn't much, much longer. And I didn't know he was ill.
    Jenny P
  5. by   tattooednursie
    My thoughts and prayers are with you. I remember reading your post from a while ago on the situation. Did you care for him yourself, or did you decide on the hospice? (If you dont mind my asking.) i thought about it ever since I read your post.
  6. by   rebelwaclause
    Linda, the story of how you two met as teens and married later is touching. Appears to be the love of a lifetime. I cannot possibly know how you feel, but I'm sensitive to your post above and offer my sympathy {{{{and hugs}}}}}} during your time of sorrow.

    One day at a time. Allnurses.com is here 24/7 if you need to talk.
  7. by   EmeraldNYL
    I'm so sorry. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Please keep us updated on how you are doing and try to hang in there, though I am sure Christmas will be difficult.
  8. by   angelbear
    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please know that my prayers are with you. Thank you for sharing the beauty of your experience with us. May God Bless you now and always.
  9. by   RN always
    Linda, I remember too reading your posts earlier. I am so touched by your story. Death is so hard for everyone involved but it can be peaceful like you described. I got goosebumps when I read about the sensation you felt in your hands as your husband passed away. thank you for sharing your story. God Bless You,
  10. by   Pretzlgl
    Thank you for sharing that with us. Your husband's passing is deeply touching, and helped to remind me what is truly important in life. My prayers are with you.
  11. by   kittyw
    ((((((linda)))))) i wish i could just reach over and give you a hug. :kiss i'm so very sorry for you. i hope you can have happy thoughts with you and try to remember the good times with your loved one as you go through this christmas.
  12. by   debyan
    So wonderful to have found him again and to have had 5 years together.(((Linda))) May God keep you in the palm of his hand this holiday season, I can't imagine your sorrow. I hope you have a good support system, family and friends, near for lots of hugs and shoulders if you need to cry. deb
  13. by   Nurse Ratched
    I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss, but grateful as you are for your time together. Peace be with you.
  14. by   DIPLOMATICRN4HIRE
    Dearest Linda,
    My heart goes out to you in so many ways. They say the hardest things in life are those that are taken away from you. Which I believe. But know that in the comfort and the time you were allowed to spend with each other is a blessing upon itself. There are many things in this world that you gather strength from, and you were fortunate enough to know and love and to marry the person inwhich you gained the most from. Im sure you stood by the side and witnessed all the good bad and the ugly that life can and will dish out to you. You were blessed when you met this man and you were even more blessed to marry this man , and it maybe difficult to see but you were the most blessed when you were allowed to be with him when he passed.
    My prayers are with you, for you are strong and an angel that was allowed the gift of love and to love another.
    Zoe

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