my classmates HATE me

  1. hallo everyone,

    When i started nursing school i made a handful of friends in my class. However, one of the friends i had during pre-nursing dumped me soon after we got to nursing school. She never actually said i dont want to be friends, she just started treating me really badly. She was rude to me and would mock the way i speak and make fun of some of the things i would say. Well, i ignored her and eventually we stoped talking altogether.

    I think she started spreading rumours about me, because one by one all our other friends started treating me the same way. I asked them why they were treating me like dirt and whether i had done anything to upset them. They said that i had not done anything and everything was ok. Later i would find out that they had study sessions or had lunch together and had not invited me to join them. Last year one of them told our instructor that i was looking at her paper doing an exam. I was mortified. I could not believe that she would accuse me of cheating. I would never do anything that stupid. We have not talked since that incident. I think that now they are telling people that i dont want to study with them because i can do better without them etc etc.

    Recently i have noticed that when I do talk to my other classmates I get dirty, angry looks. I dont know what is being said about me now.

    I am at my wits end. I am having such a difficult time concentrating on my studies, today i just felt like giving up and applying to another nursing school. i really dont know what to do. I can't confront anybody because i dont know who in the group is spreading rumours about me. I also cannot take another day of snickering and sneering behind my back.

    If anyone has any suggestions about how to handle this situation, i am listening!
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  2. 62 Comments

  3. by   mauxtav8r
    Ignore it. This is temporary. Hold your head high and do whatever you do - like pray, meditate, do yoga, see a counselor. Unload this trouble, for sure, but remember it takes two to tango. Don't tango.
  4. by   leslie :-D
    i'm amazed these people want to be nurses.
    this is classic highschool 101.
    i agree...ignore it!
    continue in befriending other students.
    do not give them any power over you.
    nsg school is going to teach you a lot about yourself as well as other people.
    by the time your schooling is over, you will have been tested, twisted, bent, spent and turned inside out, in every way imaginable.
    today and forever, it is up to you, to define your personal best.
    keep on moving forward.
    no one can push you back.

    best of everything to you.

    leslie
  5. by   imenid37
    People are just nasty. Why??? I do not know. I had one classmate who told others I had gone to high school w/ her and that while in high school I weighed 200lbs. I weighed 110 in nursing school, was 4 years younger than this nut, and went to a different high school. I am 20 years later abt. 30 lbs. overweight, but have never weighed 200lbs. Why did she do that? I do not to this day have a clue? I suppose she wanted to make me look bad. I worked at the same hospital as her many years later and she tried to be chummy. I told her, sorry I remember what a liar you were and I am not going there! My best advice, stay away from these toxic people and they will find another target. I just don't get why some people need to do this to bolster their own ego, but evidently they do. My daughter has one in her nursing class too, who is the head grinder of the rumour mill. Be glad you are not studying w/ them, etc. They'd talk about you anyway!!! Find some new friends. You will be a lot better off.
  6. by   dorselm
    That is so unfair that you have to go through that. It seems like you all entered nursing school right out of high school but some still have the high school mentality. It makes you wonder why some people have the audacity to go to nursing school with rotten attitudes.
    Rotten attitudes = rotten nurses


    Unfortunately your situation has required that you quickly develop a thick skin. Meaning, when you get negative vibes coming from those childish people, don't ask them if they're mad at you. Don't be worrying about them talking about you. You put your head up and keep on going. Act like they are not in the classroom. Do what you have to do in school and go about your business. You don't have to fit in with the crowd to get through school. As long as your goal is to be the best nurse that you can be than you don't need to worry about what the others are doing. Right about now to get through school, you need to surround yourself with positivity and if you don't feel that than you need to find some other people in your class to connect to or stay to yourself.

    Running away is not the answer. Going to another school will not prevent this from happening again. It will show that they have power over you. What are going to do when you find this behavior where you work? It happens all the time. There are petty people wherever you go and you have to learn that you are worthy of being respected and that you don't have to take crap from no one. They are going to get to you if you keep worrying about whether or not they like you.

    Look at this as a learning experience for when you become an RN and have to experience the drama at your job. There are toxic environments wherever you go so take this time to work on developing a thick skin and not letting them haters get to you.
  7. by   rachenos30
    Absolutely ignore it. It is going to be hard, but really you are there for your future, not to make friends. Although, concerning issues like them accusing you of cheating, I would at least let the instructor know about this in case somebody decides to become childish once again in the future. I'm sorry you have to deal with such cattiness. Good luck and hold your head up. You'll get through it!
  8. by   rnrae
    I know the feeling - When I was in LPN school years ago there was someone in my class who I thought was a friend. Well she had been telling the instructors incredible lies about me. They actually believed her and had me kicked out! I was mortified, extremely angry, etc. I now am grateful it happened cause I was accepted to RN school, had great friends and a wonderful experience!

    What goes around comes around! Soon after I was terminated from that place, the b...h got kicked in the mouth by her horse and had to have her jaws wired shut for 8 wks! Also, she was arrested for theft and her husband left her. She is not working as a nurse.

    Bottom line, just do your best to finish school. There will always be people, no matter where you go, who need to feel superior!
  9. by   meownsmile
    In my experience study groups do nothing but cause trouble. You are better off if you study by yourself or maybe with one other person. But when you get a group together it spells trouble every time. They will soon turn on each other.
    Keep going and dont let them bring you down. Most people dont have much contact with people they went to school with anyway after school. I bet i havent seen one or two of the people i went to nursing school with more than once since. And it doesnt bother me a bit.
  10. by   llg
    Consider yourself lucky. Only a fool would want to be friends with those people.
  11. by   tencat
    Darlin', you've got to rise above it. Life does not continue to mimic high school for everyone forever, I promise! True, some people never get beyond it. But there are enough out there that do. So your classmates 'hate' you. You have to take a 'So, who cares?' attitude about that. I'm sure they don't ALL hate you. There's got to be one or two in the bunch that are not into the 'group' that is being toxic to you. Steer clear of those who are not treating you well, and don't worry about what they think or do. People only have power over you if you let them have it. Don't give it to them.
  12. by   rnmomtobe2010
    Quote from llg
    Consider yourself lucky. Only a fool would want to be friends with those people.
    And to add to this, there is no way in the you know what that I would worry about what they had to say. You know what kind of person you are. Hon, if I worried about what others are saying or thinking about me, I would be in the mental hospital or dead. IGNORE THAT IGNORANCE!! We'll see how far they get in the program anyway.
  13. by   clee1
    You will never be happy in this lifetime, if you cannot get past what unrelated others think/say of you.

    THEIR APPROVAL (or lack thereof) IS IRRELEVANT!

    Do what YOU need to do, for yourself and your family; quit worrying about what other people say/think.

    Personally, if I am right with God and my wife, I am about 99.9999% right.
  14. by   Southernurse
    [font=book antiqua]my class was a lot like that too...i told my instructor that i was going to bring in cat toys and toss them into the middle of the floor and let them fight over them. she loved the idea! keep in mind that your instructors apparently are very aware of what your class is like, and obviously did not believe the catty people who were on you. these people are very insecure about their skills and even though they may get high grades, they are sometimes lost on the floor. it is the same old pushing one down to get themselves up. this may never change, so only worry about yourself and your performance. you are the only representative for yourself and your license. patients and doctors can always pick out the nasties too. stay strong. you'll see that the ones that truly matter will be the ones to see you for who you are.

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