Mid-Shift Shower

Nellie was an 80ish year old lady with Alzheimer’s. She wore red lipstick and big sun glasses, even just sitting in her room. She had no children, no family so to speak of. She had been married to one man, her entire life. His name was Chuck, however, she rarely spoke of Chuck or acknowledged his existence, she spoke very lovingly of Leroy, her child hood sweet heart. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

All names have been changed and some words are misspelled for pronunciation purposes and curse words have been changed or left out.

She talked about dances they would be going to, hay rides, walks along the river, school and other things like that. We would often ask her questions about Chuck and she would in turn tell us the stories about Leroy. She was just kind of stuck in the Leroy years and had seemed to have forgotten her husband almost completely. Nellie didn't think she was so 80ish, kind of more like she was 16ish and she hated showers.

She would yell and would also often become very combative.

One day while giving her a shower in the rolling shower chair she became upset and started in yelling, "Get that water offa me you fool. I'm gonna call the sheriff. I don't want no darned pneu-monia."

I told her we had to get her all prettied up for Leroy. This was something we often said and it usually eased her and she would be a little more cooperative, however this day she screamed, "I'm a married woman, you wanna tell my husband that?

You tryin to ruin my honor?"

I quickly apologized and told her that I had meant to say Chuck.

She replied, "Who the heck is Chuck?"

I didn't know what to say, so I continued with her shower.

"Listen hear, you get that water offa me, my daddy will get you for this."

I explained that he had fully given permission for her to have a shower, and that we were almost through.

"My daddy don't want me warshed by no preverts." She would occasionally swing out and try to hit me, but nothing too bad or too violent.

I said, "I promise I'm not a pervert, I'm a nurse and I'm trying to get you cleaned up."

She nodded her head, "Yeah, that's what they say ain't it?" At this point I was finished with her bathing and needed to rinse her off.

I explained what I was going to do. She allowed me to rinse her off, and honestly, I thought she was finally okay with the shower, so I proceeded to rinse her hair. I was very careful not to get any soap in her eyes.

As I was finishing, she grabbed the shower sprayer out of my hands and pointed it directly in my face, "Let me wash the filth offa ya, you sinful heathen."

I attempted to get the sprayer from her, but she began swinging it frantically. I stepped back, right into a puddle of soapy water, and flat on my butt I went.

She began to sneer, all the while spraying me with the water.

Every time I would try to get up, I would slip right back down. Finally, I crawled backward to a semi dry spot and was able to use the toilette to stand. I stood up, sopping wet and pulled the emergency light, and then slowly made my way through her arcs of streaming water to cut the water off. (Why didn't I think of that first, I wondered?)

She threw the sprayer at me and I hung it up. I told her I was sorry for giving her a shower, but I had to get her clean.

We both sat there for a moment, then I grabbed a towel and gave it to her. She began drying off, I began sopping water up off of the floor. I kept wondering where my help was.

I had pulled the emergency light some time ago, and I could hear it beeping. "Well, ain't ya gonna get me decent now that you've had yer fun?" I proceeded to assist her with drying off and dressing. I sat her in her w/c and began to wheel her out of the shower room.

At this time one of the male nurses came to help me. I looked up at him, and he was almost busting at the seams. I looked around, through my water splattered glasses.

There was water everywhere. He didn't even ask if I need help, I guess he could tell I was a little flustered. "Sorry, lunch break." He said.

I cut the emergency light off, and Nellie said, "Sheriff, I need to press me some charges on this here prevert. She done poured water on me for a Leroy and a Chuck. She gonna trade me, put me on the market? My daddy ain' t gonna like this one iota. Look at her, what kind of operation is she a runnin'? She got one of them red light houses?"

He couldn't contain his laughter any longer, however he did manage to say, "Let's go work on that paper work, Ma'am we've got some spare clothes in a closet out there, why don't you get cleaned up."

He then proceeded to wheel her out into the hall. Her all the while telling how I had taken advantage of her virtue, him trying to hold in his laughter, but failing miserably. I came out behind him, soaked to the gills and began walking down the hall to the extra clothing closet, wondering why I had volunteered to do this shower. I slipped in my haste, and was sprawled flat on my back, this time with many witnesses.

As I got up, several people were laughing, I looked down then and realized I was wearing white scrubs and pink polka dotted panties. I couldn't get to that closet fast enough.

Specializes in Hospice, LTC.

I have greatly enjoyed reading all of your posts about my story. Thank you all so much!

Specializes in Pedatrics, Child Protection.

:roll:rotfl:

That has got to be one of the funniest stories I've heard in a long time. Having a few flashbacks of my own....thanks so much for sharing that. I'll buy your "Whoa Nellie" book! Could probably contribute a chapter or two!!

Specializes in Hospice, LTC.

Your book comment made me think that it would be nice if we could put all of the stories on this forum together and make a book to sell to benefit a charity. Nurse to Nurse or something like that.

Specializes in Geriatrics/ALZ, MDS/CPC.

I myself also had a mid-shift shower - little different than this one. My experience was a few months into nursing school. I worked at a nursing home on the evening shift after school. While helping one of the CNA's shower one of the male patients, I followed her to the room to help her put him to bed. After sitting this poor fellow on the bed, the CNA in her usual fashion yelled "grab the legs" as she proceded to "flip" him into the bed. Just as I reached down to grab his feet, his feet came up and landed on the bed and was instantly soaked on the entire Rt side - face, eye, mouth, neck and chest. I yelled out and the CNA yelled "don't be such a baby, his catheter just came undone". As this wasn't horrifing enough to a germ-a-phobe like myself, I noticed that his catheter had not "come undone". In fat it was a large fluid-filled blister(and by large I mean 13cm x 10cm x 4cm) on his left heel that had ruptured and covered me in slime. I screamed hysterically and instantly began having a panic attack. The CNA yelled for the nurse on duty (who was a new grad) and she proceded to drag me across the hall to the residents shower room. Not only was I stripped and shoved into a cold shower, but it was by my co-workers!!! There was so much goo in my eye and mouth I began vomiting violently. Of course, I'm sure we've all experienced what can happen wen you begin to vomit that hard - it's called "gas". So picture it if you will. I'm naked and vomiting and farting in a cold shower while all of my co-workers stand there in horror not knowing what to do to help me. I was probably the worst night of my life and the worse shower I've ever had! Needless to say-if I'm helping a CNA put someone to bed I always "take the top" and steer clear of the legs.

Specializes in medsurg/tele, mbu, LTC.

What A Great Story!! And, Yes, The Ornery Ones Do End Up Our Favorites Somehow...

Specializes in Hospice, LTC.

That was so funny to picture. Sorry you had to go through it though.

Specializes in CCU, Geriatrics, Critical Care, Tele.
Your book comment made me think that it would be nice if we could put all of the stories on this forum together and make a book to sell to benefit a charity. Nurse to Nurse or something like that.

NurseAlwaysNForever, funny you mention the book thing, I've been thinking of doing this very thing :) There are so many great stories here. I love the idea of it benefiting Charity as well. I've also been looking into setting up a foundation for nursing. If there was only more hours in a day :)

I think that would've been my last day,

on that floor, in that hospital, and probably in this field.

Specializes in geriatrics,med/surg,vents.

Thanks for the laugh,that was great(well maybe not for you at the time)

hilarious.. yet very inspiring..lol.:yeah:

Reading your story is just like watching a comedy movie. Just havin'great fun when you're doing your work with tender loving care. Though it must have been very embarrassing for you but looking back , hmmm, it was fun. Yah, I think it was. Ha, ha ha! Thanks for making many of us laugh at you, errrr, your story. Mwah!:yeah::bowingpur

Haha, we have all had those days. Thanks for sharing.