Help...husband discouraging me :( - page 4

Hi all...I'm hoping you can give me some advice (and hopefully encouragement) about becoming a nurse. My husband (who is a physician) is discouraging me from becoming a nurse because he says the... Read More

  1. by   carol72
    I agree with your husband - nursing can entail all the above mentioned situations, plus the risk of being sued. For those of us who don't want to work with these situations, other options are available. You could work in a (in my opinion) clean, low risk specialty such as derm or ophthalmology.
  2. by   Halinja
    Quote from ChayaN
    To the other posters on this thread: Please don't shut Kathy up. She has a right to have her say, even if you might not like it.
    Respectfully, I disagree. Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion on what the job is like for them... What I object to is...

    Nurses are enablers and with their psychological make-up allow and tolerate the abuse.
    That, in my opinion, is disrespectful of the many many nurses out there that are healthy, well adjusted, caring individuals. Caring does not equal enabling. So, yes, I objected to the post, maybe I was throwing the baby out with the bathwater. But when someone starts labeling or name calling, it makes it hard for me to 'listen' to the rest of what is said.
    Last edit by Halinja on Dec 22, '06 : Reason: Edited to remove pointless rhetoric, then put it back in
  3. by   ONSnrs
    Quote from mizzou_ivy
    I believe your husband offers a valid point. As a nurse of a few years and many different experiences there are days I would chuck it to work drive-thru. But you hang in there and something small (i.e. a simple smile from:spin: a child to a heartfelt thanks from a grateful family member) will happen to make everything right again.

    Nursing is NOT for everyone . Nursing is NOT easy, nor clean . It's just part of the job. Funny thing is you don't notice that at the end of the day. You notice what you did for someone that made his/her life easier.

    My 2 cents...
    amen and amen. The rewards seem so few at times, but the simple blessings of gratitude from patients, families and your fellow team members when you help them through a troubling shift far outweigh the hardships and stress.
  4. by   TennRN2004
    To The OP:

    I love my job, and I am so glad I decided to pursue nursing. I've had a run of rough shifts lately, but at the end of the day, I've never had a job where you feel so fulfilled and rewarded for what you do. It's not for everyone, as some of the posts have made clear. But, there are many many positives to nursing. You don't have to work in a hospital or at the bedside. Nursing is wide open with many avenues available. I like being in a career that is so flexible. Of course, there are plenty of aggravating things about nursing, but what job is perfect? For myself, I feel that there are more positives than negatives. If it is truly something you want to do, then go for it. You're not too old! Don't doubt yourself b/c of what he's telling you, follow a nurse for a few hours and see what you think for yourself.
  5. by   LeahJet
    Quote from Kathy732
    I have to wonder if you guys are delusional. I began nursing in my mid 40's and I tell people it was the very worst mistake of my life. Because I made such a crucial change late in life I find that it's difficult to find my way out of this hell and into a career that would treat me (and my co-workers) slightly better than a diseased mongrel dog. Back-breaking work with legally entitled breaks being something of a lucky gift when you get them. Mandatory overtime - you think your shift ends at a certain time, but no, you're required to stay to cover the shortage of RNs for the next shift. I could go on but the nursing shortage is happening for a reason. Nurses are treated abominably. I ask my husband how many other jobs sees the workers cry on the job from the stress. How many jobs (and who would tolerate it) make it impossible to get to the bathroom for hours after the urge to go? Nurses are enablers and with their psychological make-up allow and tolerate the abuse. The ones that decide that they are ashamed to be treated that way leave in droves. New grads start on the med-surg floor and not only leave the job, they leave the profession. BE REAL. Do not give this woman a false picture of what she'll encounter if she enters the profession. If she has the yearning to help people and be in the healthcare field steer her to ultrasound or care management or whatever. Nursing has moments of warm satisfaction. But at such a price!
    Sorry, but I agree with Kathy. I may not be as cynical but her points are valid and true.
  6. by   Sisyphus
    I was completely aware that I would start a "pile on" with my caustic message. I showed my message to my husband, laughing to him that I knew I would disturb the nurses who were writing warm and fuzzies to encourage the woman to attend nursing school. Still, however you feel about what I said (or about me for saying it), I hate to see anyone misled about this job. Hospital nursing is not to be believed until it's experienced and I think that far too many nurses are in denial about the abuse they receive. I think of them as being similar to battered wives and that is so terribly sad. I will never encourage another person to enter nursing until staffing needs are met routinely. I thought reading Suzanne Gordon's article that I pasted below might puncture some of the rosy fuzz that you are presenting as reality to that woman.

    By the way, I have been a nurse for 11 years and before that I was a CNA for 4 years while in nursing school. I am the unit representative for our new hospital computer charting system, I am the author of the new post-op flow sheet in our unit, I was just asked to be one of two nurses in our unit to be given hospital paid membership in AORN, I am the unit union delegate and I am consistently praised as excellent in our Patient Satisfaction Surveys. Not an iota of that matters to you (some of it matters to me), but you should know that as much as I despise how I am treated as a nurse, I work hard for my unit and and for my patients. And I still feel that nurses are enablers in so many ways. And yes, I still consider my job hell.

    A Nurses' Week that really honors nurses

    By Suzanne Gordon

    May 4, 2006



    Every year, hospitals around the country observe "Nurses' Week," a national celebration from May 6-12 that coincides with the birthdate of Florence Nightingale, who was born May 12, 1820.



    Many registered nurses find themselves at catered lunches, listening to flowery speeches by hospital CEOs who suddenly appear among them like Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld on a visit to Baghdad's Green Zone.



    While the reality of deteriorating conditions awaits them back in the war zone of their hospital wards, overworked nurses can briefly enjoy free manicures and massages, plus collect heart-shaped key chains, coffee mugs (with their employer's name on it) or teddy bears dressed as -- you guessed it -- nurses.



    What's rarely addressed during Nurses' Week, however, are the workplace issues that are driving RNs away from the hospital bedside in huge numbers: of under-staffing, forced overtime and job dissatisfaction.



    Some studies report that as many as 50 percent of all new hires leave bedside nursing within two years. Despite increased funding for nursing education, expensive ad campaigns and generous hospital signing bonuses to aid RN recruitment, many younger people are reluctant to go into hospital nursing.



    As a result, there is a serious nursing shortage.



    Instead of showering nurses with happy talk and trinkets, hospitals should try a different approach.



    They should provide their nurses with seven days' worth of optimal working conditions.



    What would this kind of Nurses' Week look like?



    First, no nurse would be struggling to care for as many as seven to 10 sick people at the same time. On a medical surgical floor, they would be assigned to no more than four patients (based on legislated staffing ratios implemented in the Australian state of Victoria in 2000) or, closer to home, five patients (the maximum patient load permitted California). All Intensive Care Unit (ICU) nurses would be able to provide one-on-one care instead of juggling as many as three seriously ill patients.



    Nurses with fewer patients are better able to provide quality care and less apt to quit because they are frustrated that they can't do their jobs properly.



    Nurses' Week should also offer a respite from heavy lifting. As the average nurse gets older and patients get heavier, nursing has become the new definition of back-breaking labor. Nurses at the bedside are often asked to lift loads unsafe for even a blue-collar worker. That's why nurses now suffer a higher rate of more musculoskeletal injuries than dock workers, baggage handlers and building tradesmen.



    For Nurses' Week, at least, hospitals everywhere should provide the same kind of equipment to lift and turn patients that has been used for the past six years in the Australian state of Victoria.



    More than a year ago, the California legislature passed legislation that would have required the state's hospitals to bring in modern lift equipment. But Gov. Schwarzenegger apparently figured nurses should all become body builders too. And so, at the behest of the hospital industry, he vetoed the legislation.



    One full week without mandatory overtime or "on call" duty would be another way of properly thanking nurses. Many hospitals have been dealing with recent staffing shortages by forcing already exhausted RNs to work an extra shift -- after their regular 12-hour one -- with no prior warning.



    In some hospitals, lunches, coffee breaks and even trips to the bathroom are being sacrificed so RNs can handle larger numbers of more acutely ill patients. But for Nurses' Week, these relief periods should be guaranteed.



    Studies show that improving working conditions would help save lives, reduce complications -- such as falls, bedsores and urinary tract infections, to name only a few -- and increase nurse satisfaction.



    These practices would also save hospitals money -- particularly because they would lead to less nurse turnover.



    We need to insist on safe staffing ratios, no lift policies, a ban on mandatory overtime and other nurse-friendly, patient-friendly measures. We can do this legislatively, or via union contract.



    When we do, then nurses -- and their patients -- will really have something to celebrate when May rolls around.



    Suzanne Gordon is a journalist and author of several books, including her most recent, "Nursing Against the Odds: How Hospital Cost-Cutting, Media Stereotypes, and Medical Hubris Undermine Nurses and Patient Care" (Cornell University Press, 2005). She can be reached at pmproj@progressive.org.
  7. by   angel337
    [QUOTE=Kathy732;1982074]I was completely aware that I would start a "pile on" with my caustic message. I showed my message to my husband, laughing to him that I knew I would disturb the nurses who were writing warm and fuzzies to encourage the woman to attend nursing school. Still, however you feel about what I said (or about me for saying it), I hate to see anyone misled about this job. Hospital nursing is not to be believed until it's experienced and I think that far too many nurses are in denial about the abuse they receive. I think of them as being similar to battered wives and that is so terribly sad. I will never encourage another person to enter nursing until staffing needs are met routinely. I thought reading Suzanne Gordon's article that I pasted below might puncture some of the rosy fuzz that you are presenting as reality to that woman.

    there isn't anything wrong with what you said, but just like you feel that you are miserable and consider your job "hell", there are others that feel just the opposite. i like my job. i have never had a job that i loved, even before my nursing career, but i enjoy what i do and yes it can be stressful at times but generally speaking it is a good career. the establishment i work for respects nurses and treat us as professionals. i have worked for hospitals that didn't care 2 cents about the nurses and that is why i left, before i became burned out and miserable. no job is worth your sanity. the OP should have the opportunity to see both sides which i think is necessary. i think the "battered wives" is pretty extreme Kathy................but then again an opinion is just that, an opinion.
  8. by   tutored
    To ChayaN: Simply "asking" someone such as Kathy123 why they have such negative viewpoints of nursing, particularly when they enter a nurses's forum and proceed to denigrate our profession, is not "shutting them up', as you say. This IS a forum, isn't it? I don't see any threads where anyone asks this depressed nurse to "shut up".
  9. by   traumaRUs
    The great thing about our board is the wide variety of folks that post here. We don't all need warm and fuzzy words all the time. SOmetimes we do need dissenting opinions to push us out of our comfort zone in order to consider other relevant points.

    Thanks everyone!

    BTW - I went into nursing in my early 30's after 10 years in public relations. I found my niche in the ER and absolutely loved it. Yes, even though I could work 13 hours without a break, even though I had patients assault me, even though I had irate MD's to deal with. However, the positives always outweighed the negatives.

    I am now in my late 40's and work as an advanced practice nurse. The opportunities are out there, you just have to take advantage of them. If you are unhappy in one position, there are others that you can move to.

    To the OP - good luck.
  10. by   JeanettePNP
    Quote from tutored
    To ChayaN: Simply "asking" someone such as Kathy123 why they have such negative viewpoints of nursing, particularly when they enter a nurses's forum and proceed to denigrate our profession, is not "shutting them up', as you say. This IS a forum, isn't it? I don't see any threads where anyone asks this depressed nurse to "shut up".
    First of all, Kathy explained (quite articulately, in my opinion) why she has a bad view of nursing. I don't know why you as a nurse should be getting so defensive about her comments... you're not the one who's responsible for the staffing issues that Kathy and many other nurses have had to deal with. I know a lot of nurses are happy, but I do think prospective nurses need to be realistic about what they'll encounter as a nurse. She is not denigrating the profession of nursing, but rather the conditions that nurses must work under, and she is frustrated by the fact that many nurses prefer to silence those who complain about said conditions rather than try to change them. (Something that I clearly see on this thread.)

    Here's an example of a response that I call "shutting up":
    And you are in nursing,Why!!! I hope you are never my nurse or my families or any person that need help. Sure, nursing is hard, life is hard. I don't go to work (still after 44 years) to see how many breaks I can take or how many times I can go to the bathroom. I go to see how the pt I had before is doing now and when I cry is is generally with a family or pt, can be happy or sad.
    Basically this poster is implying that anyone who complains about working conditions on their job and insists on having needed breaks is a bad nurse who doesn't care about her patients. Sorry, this is an example of the type of enabling that Kathy is talking about.
  11. by   Yuliya3
    To OP, I would say to get a better idea of nursing, try to explore it more. For example, why not volunteer at a hospital, if you have time for it. You could arrange with volunteer department to rotate through different floors. That will give you a some knowledge of work nurses do daily, see if any areas appeal to you, get a feel for it. At my school, we were required to do some amount of volunteer work or have prior healthcare experience before starting nursing program, and I think it help me a lot with my decision to go into nursing. You could also look into getting a job in healthcare field, that does not require much training: CNA, unit clerk, secretary in medical office.
    Good luck.:typing

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