Do you think your manager likes you?

Nurses General Nursing

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I don't think mine likes me. I am not a butt kisser at all, and I don't gossip or tattle. I rarely can work extra shifts either due to childcare issues. Also, she had a complaint on me from a patient...it was a legitimate complaint, but I was doing the best I could do. A patient complained that I had not checked on her for two hours at one point in the night, and that was correct. I was with another patient who was circling the drain.

My manager never speaks to me when she passes me in the hall, etc. I do wish she liked me, because I think it makes work easier, but I'm not someone who is going to go to great lengths to butt kiss or anything like that.

Specializes in Home Care,Psych, Long Term Care.

This is the part of your post, Lily,that jumped out at me:

"My manager never speaks to me when she passes me in the hall, etc."

My read on this: That is rude, and is not appropriate behavior on your manager's part.

Pooksmom

while i appreciate you busting your behind, your approach sounds obnoxious.

no one's a winner w/that type of communication.:twocents:

even with a 3rd nurse, nobody won.:down:

leslie

whoa...until I noticed your name I thought it was her. Thanks, but the 3rd nurse will actually be split between our CM & UM depts. I'm a UM nurse, and unless you've worked in my office with the current staff we have you can't criticize my actions. You see I'm going on four years there, a couple years ago we had a huge layoff & I was one of the four nurses they retained. My current mgr was not there at the time. One of our case mgrs left because of her & the other just left, so there were two. I was the only PA nurse reviewing 300+ referrals daily, after three months they brought this witch on, who by the way has burned most of her bridges in the local area. She then brought on one of her friends to help me, but it ended up being more work for me because she had no clue what she was doing, regardless of my numerous attempts to teach her, she finally left for another job, Thank you Jesus. They brought on another UM Nurse, but she has also not been much help, shes sweet, but shes slow, the other depts are constantly coming to me as are our providers because they do not want to deal with her, so my workload again increases. Oh I must've forgot to also mention, I do not take a lunch, nor do I take breaks, and I work 10-12 hour days M-F. Yes, I am very fortunate to have a job. Could I leave? Yeah, sure I could, but I choose to stay, because it is a place I once loved. And did I get my point across? Yes, I did. How could you say no one wins? The nurse that's coming on board happens to really hate her current job, so hopefully this will be a step up for her. Am I going to get help? Yes, I am. I've told them time & time again that we were short staffed especially since so many people are losing their jobs our current member enrollment has soared. Could I care less that you think my approach was obnoxious? Sure, of course. But, you know what? They got the point. Isn't it a shame that it finally took that obnoxious approach to wake someone up? Sometimes Leslie drastic times call for drastic measures, I guess you're blessed to not have to work with me. lol...but hey, this isn't a war between you & I. I was just a little bothered by your judgment of my actions, because after all who are we to judge, right Leslie? P.S. Thanks for your reply, its greatly appreciated, makes me a better person just to know what you think. And I'm sure you would've handled the situation the right way, thank you for being you & making this world we live in a better place, you're beautiful....

This is the part of your post, Lily,that jumped out at me:

"My manager never speaks to me when she passes me in the hall, etc."

My read on this: That is rude, and is not appropriate behavior on your manager's part.

Pooksmom

i'll tell you, i would take notice if my nm said the absolute minimum to me while obviously friendly/laughing w/other nurses.

sometimes personalities just don't mesh.

hope this works out for you, lily.

leslie

Specializes in Family Practice, Psychiatry.

I honestly don't know whether my mgr. likes me or not. At this point, the only reason I care is I want to have plenty of options should I move and need to find another job.

Other than that, I must say it's nice to work night shift. We don't have to see her except at staff meetings. She's not a great manager -- a little too inexperienced and young, IMHO. The less I am on her radar, the better. :-)

Specializes in ED, ICU, PACU.

If your manager's attitude concerns you, why don't you just ask to meet with her privately (before or after a shift, or during a break) and discuss it with her?

I would leave out the words 'like me' in the conversation and use something more professional, such as "I get the impression that you are dissatified with my performance and would like to discuss it so that we can foster a better working relationship"

BTW, I now have a manger from hell. This manager has mental issues but is a primo butt kisser; so, has a secure job. Not only is the manager a dangerous nurse (regarding patient care), this manager has volatile outbursts at staff right next to a patient bedside and uses the fear and intimidation philosophy of management. And, I know for a fact that this manager does not like me one bit. Yet, we do pretend to have a civil working relationship (in between the outbursts). Liking each other really has nothing to do with fostering a working relationship, it is just an added bonus when it occurs in the workplace.

Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.

My current manager used to be my former assistant manager. She hired me without interviewing me, then changed my schedule because I didn't want a rotating schedule. So, yes, she likes me. I agree that it made the difference when it came to me getting this job over others. But she likes me because she used to work with me and knew I would be a welcomed addition to the midnight shift because of my work. We are friendly toward each other, but I don't think I was hired because I'm nice or because I'm her friend. She knew my work was quality.

I don't think, ultimately, if she didn't like me, my work experience would suffer for it. Maybe it's because I work midnights and therefore rarely, if ever, see her. I've had bosses dislike me before, but whatever, I did my work and didn't let it affect my performance.

I guess it doesn't make a difference who the manager likes, as long as they treat everyone fairly. When the "in crowd" starts to get perks that others don't get, that's when it has gone too far.

My manager definitely crosses the lines of the boss-employee relationship sometimes, but she has worked with some of the nurses on my floor for over 20 years, and they were friends before she got the manager job. She's definitely unconventional about the way she runs things. We always joke that we are a great big dysfunctional family. But hey, it works for us I guess. There is a lot of yipping and back-stabbing that goes on around my floor, some directed at the manager. We had a big problem awhile back with her playing favorites, and the truth is that she didn't realize she was doing it. She works really hard now to make sure that she doesn't, and I think that for the most part she is pretty fair.

All that being said, I used to think she hated me, but she didn't. Does she love me? Maybe not. But I'm pretty sure she likes me. ...But then, what's not to like??? :monkeydance: j/k j/k!!!

Specializes in Family Practice, Psychiatry.
I guess it doesn't make a difference who the manager likes, as long as they treat everyone fairly. When the "in crowd" starts to get perks that others don't get, that's when it has gone too far.

This describes our unit perfectly. There is definitely an "in crowd" who are better treated than others -- of a very small group of nurses. Our manager is very young, and hardly had to do any floor work at all before getting her position (it was who she knew). It's aggravating, to say the least. It has gone too far, but there doesn't seem to be any change on the horizon since administration completely backs her (again, she's in because of connections).

Specializes in ICU.
I honestly don't know whether my mgr. likes me or not. At this point, the only reason I care is I want to have plenty of options should I move and need to find another job.

Other than that, I must say it's nice to work night shift. We don't have to see her except at staff meetings. She's not a great manager -- a little too inexperienced and young, IMHO. The less I am on her radar, the better. :-)

Several years ago, my very good friend was a 'young icu manager'. She was 26 and managing a rather large ICU. She was wonderful. She had to work 5 times harder than any other manager in that position BECAUSE she was so young. The hospital that she was at never really acknowledged her hard work and would not promote her. So, she went on to greener pastures. After several years and many promotions, that same hospital called her back, they wanted her to take a CCO position. I guess she aged enough by then for them to promote her. But, my point is, young managers are sometimes the VERY BEST because they have to work hard to prove themselves.

On to the "hello" in the hallway thing........... Maybe it is just the culture in my hospital, but everyone says hello and smiles when they walk by each other in the hallway. I mean, we even do it to the patient's and families too! It just makes for a better atmosphere.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
On to the "hello" in the hallway thing........... Maybe it is just the culture in my hospital, but everyone says hello and smiles when they walk by each other in the hallway. I mean, we even do it to the patient's and families too! It just makes for a better atmosphere.

I've read in cultural nursing articles, and elsewhere, and have observed that American culture as a whole really doesn't do this. It's customary to look straight ahead, not meet their eyes, and not speak to people, particularly strangers when passing in the hallway. I've noticed it seems to be more prevalent in this part of Florida (where most people are from the Northern states) than when I lived in North Carolina, but Southerners do it too. It bugs me a little bit, particularly when it's someone I know to see them walk past me, but I don't get bothered. I do think that if a manager wants to build a cohesive unit with good morale she would try to be more friendly.

Specializes in Family Practice, Psychiatry.
Several years ago, my very good friend was a 'young icu manager'. She was 26 and managing a rather large ICU. She was wonderful. She had to work 5 times harder than any other manager in that position BECAUSE she was so young. The hospital that she was at never really acknowledged her hard work and would not promote her. So, she went on to greener pastures. After several years and many promotions, that same hospital called her back, they wanted her to take a CCO position. I guess she aged enough by then for them to promote her. But, my point is, young managers are sometimes the VERY BEST because they have to work hard to prove themselves.

You are right. There are some very young managers who do very well. Our manager just isn't one of them. She is known for putting off her work on other people and treating us poorly in the process. She's set the tone for very poor morale on our unit. I have met young managers who are the opposite of her -- and appreciate that there are those who are naturals at the job, while others shouldn't be given such a role.

Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

this is a really good thread. yes my nm likes me because i work like a dog, never call out and will most often pick up extra shifts. :icon_roll not being a martyr its just the way i work but i'm also not flattering myself to think he would like me as much if i started slacking. personalities are a funny thing but i'm glad that things are smooth at my job. if not i'd probably leave that is just too much added stress on top of an already difficult job.

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