Do you think your manager likes you?

Nurses General Nursing

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I don't think mine likes me. I am not a butt kisser at all, and I don't gossip or tattle. I rarely can work extra shifts either due to childcare issues. Also, she had a complaint on me from a patient...it was a legitimate complaint, but I was doing the best I could do. A patient complained that I had not checked on her for two hours at one point in the night, and that was correct. I was with another patient who was circling the drain.

My manager never speaks to me when she passes me in the hall, etc. I do wish she liked me, because I think it makes work easier, but I'm not someone who is going to go to great lengths to butt kiss or anything like that.

I recently got a new manager after having the same manager for many years. I've had to make a lot of personal changes in my working style to accommadate the new manager's priorities. I've had to prove myself all over again.

I don't kiss butt, but also never forget the boss is the boss and I'm not.

i keep on reading the above, over and over.

tweety's post really and unexpectedly, affected me.

you know, when it comes to work, i'm not the easiest person to get a long with.

God forbid the person who doesn't aspire to the same set of (high) standards i do.

i was just telling someone here the other day, that i've even used my "high standards" as one of my weak points in an interview.

i have little/no patience for those who don't give 1000% to the pts, and it sometimes breeds resentment from others.

anways...

this is where tweety's post hit me.

that rather than come across or behave as self-righteous, it really would be smoother sailing if one merely tries to accommodate the boss's personal workstyle.

and no, it's not kissing butt.

rather, it's being sensitive to the philosophy that when "boss is happy, everyone is happy".

of course we need to be reasonable and never, ever sacrifice your ethics in order to placate someone else.

i'm just talking about everyone's idiosyncrasies, and if you can tend to those, it makes a huge difference.

hmmm....

tweety, you've given me much to think about.

gawd, i really am a brat.

love you, tweety.:icon_hug:

leslie

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

i think my current manager likes me.

i don't understand why you can't say hello to your manager without her saying it first, though. maybe she's not friendly to you because you aren't friendly to her.

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I'm not certain why everyone has assumed that I don't say hello to my manager. I always, always do. She barely mumbles back. She never says anything to me first.

I am sort of perplexed as to why my post made people angry and snippy.

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Don't you think it's a tad childish to say how work would be better if your manager liked you? I could care less if my manager likes me. I don't go to work to be their friends.

Childish? Hmmm. Not sure. I know that it does concern me that she doesn't seem to like me, not to the point I cry or pout or anything...but it does make me feel a little uncomfortable. And I do think work would be better if I didn't feel uncomfortable around her. I'm not sure why that is childish, but maybe it is. That's my true feelings, though.

I don't go to work to be friends with my manager, either. I go to work to support my children.

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does this manager go out of the way to say hi to other nurses on the floor? some managers keep their distance intentionally. with the mind set that you can't be friends with people who you may have to discipline

don't sweat it. you keep profesional. say hi when you pass in the hall. just as you would if you were passing anyone in the hall.

she is very chummy and chatty with a couple nurses. interestingly enough, they are usually neglecting their assignment to go chat with her in her office for extended periods of time.

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Specializes in Community & Mental Health, Sp Ed nursing.
I'm not certain why everyone has assumed that I don't say hello to my manager. I always, always do. She barely mumbles back. She never says anything to me first.

I am sort of perplexed as to why my post made people angry and snippy.

Ah the joy of communicating without gestures and tone of voice:typing Sometimes what you want to say only part of the post. I've worked with more than one person who considered any communication with the boss to be associating with the enemy, including just saying hello and would hold any niceties against me. So I guess I'm a little sensitive, sorry.

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Specializes in MSP, Informatics.
She is very chummy and chatty with a couple nurses. Interestingly enough, they are usually neglecting their assignment to go chat with her in her office for extended periods of time.

Ouch. well, stay profesional, do your job the best you can, and ride it out. Those types of managers seem to run their course. Managers come and go. I have been thrugh more than I can remember their names.

when push comes to shove, those chatty, lazy nurses won't be the ones to stick up for her.

you can't be everyone's best bud. I know I don't like it if someone doesn't like me. (what is not to like!!!) but then I just remember, not everyone can have exceptional taste....so if they don't like me, there must be some flaw in them! :smokin:

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Being nice and saying hello is not kissing butt, you don't have to wait until she says it first. Why is it people think that being nice equates with kissing butt? It's exactly this sort of judgmental attitude that scares me about nursing. Try to remember that you and your supervisor are both nurses and here to help people.

I am not sure what to say to this - because I don't think saying hello or being nice equals kissing someone's butt. You're assuming quite a bit, and being a little judgmental yourself. I am well aware I'm a nurse and here to help people.

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My mgr is fairly new to our office. I work in managed health care. I'm a work-o-holic, always have been, never to kiss booty, hard work is just my nature. We have a couple of brown-nosing butt kissers in the office & I can't stand them! I've never liked my boss, because she's fake, she does not know how to communicate with people & we've lost a few good soldiers since she's been there. She's caused division w/in the office & depts are having a difficult time working together. Although I can't stand her, I always try to be cordial, we do work together & see each other daily. I always thought she liked me, but now I'm a little uncertain, since I blew up at her couple weeks ago:hlk:. Ha-Ha!! My dept works their behinds black & blue, while everyone else in the office has time to hang out & chat, taking two hour lunches, etc. It was a Friday & I was extremely busy, more than usual & I let her know that morning I was going to need help, which by the way is something I never do. By 4:30 that afternoon she came into our dept huffing & puffing & yelling about some paperwork she needed. My blood was boiling! She walked back into her office & I took the paperwork in there & threw it down on her desk & yelled, "there's your damn paperwork & don't lose it!" lol...she was ******, maybe even more so because, what I hadn't noticed was she was on the phone. I told her I had it, with that place & her, she told me to get my stuff & go home. Just to **** her off a little more I decided to stay & finish my work day. Come 5 pm, she passed me in the hallway as I was headed for the front door, she said, "I thought you were leaving", I replied, "why? because you told me to? nope, but its 5 & I'm outta here." Well, I still have my job & they've put in a request for a 3rd nurse in my dept, I just hope its not to replace me. LOL. We have a couple of weird mgrs there, they only say hi, when they feel like it, so just to make them feel uncomfortable, take them down a notch, & let a little air outta there big heads, I usually give them a big cheesy smile & hello, as we pass each other. I'll always say it first, its like going to the grocery store, you expect to be greeted when you get to the counter, its just good customer service & proper etiquette. I think its rude when you walk up & you're not greeted, like being at work & walking by someone you work with & not acknowledging the other person. Kill them with kindness!!! It always works! :msk::dncgcpd:

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Specializes in ICU.

Doesn't matter if my manager likes me, but my current manager is supportive, listens, and has an open door and I have a good working relationship with him.

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My mgr is fairly new to our office. I work in managed health care. I'm a work-o-holic, always have been, never to kiss booty, hard work is just my nature. We have a couple of brown-nosing butt kissers in the office & I can't stand them! I've never liked my boss, because she's fake, she does not know how to communicate with people & we've lost a few good soldiers since she's been there. She's caused division w/in the office & depts are having a difficult time working together. Although I can't stand her, I always try to be cordial, we do work together & see each other daily. I always thought she liked me, but now I'm a little uncertain, since I blew up at her couple weeks ago. Ha-Ha!! My dept works their behinds black & blue, while everyone else in the office has time to hang out & chat, taking two hour lunches, etc. It was a Friday & I was extremely busy, more than usual & I let her know that morning I was going to need help, which by the way is something I never do. By 4:30 that afternoon she came into our dept huffing & puffing & yelling about some paperwork she needed. My blood was boiling! She walked back into her office & I took the paperwork in there & threw it down on her desk & yelled, "there's your damn paperwork & don't lose it!" lol...she was ******, maybe even more so because, what I hadn't noticed was she was on the phone. I told her I had it, with that place & her, she told me to get my stuff & go home. Just to **** her off a little more I decided to stay & finish my work day. Come 5 pm, she passed me in the hallway as I was headed for the front door, she said, "I thought you were leaving", I replied, "why? because you told me to? nope, but its 5 & I'm outta here." Well, I still have my job & they've put in a request for a 3rd nurse in my dept, I just hope its not to replace me. LOL. We have a couple of weird mgrs there, they only say hi, when they feel like it, so just to make them feel uncomfortable, take them down a notch, & let a little air outta there big heads, I usually give them a big cheesy smile & hello, as we pass each other. I'll always say it first, its like going to the grocery store, you expect to be greeted when you get to the counter, its just good customer service & proper etiquette. I think its rude when you walk up & you're not greeted, like being at work & walking by someone you work with & not acknowledging the other person. Kill them with kindness!!! It always works!

while i appreciate you busting your behind, your approach sounds obnoxious.

no one's a winner w/that type of communication.:twocents:

even with a 3rd nurse, nobody won.:down:

leslie

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I guess I have never thought about that.

I work weekends, so I don't see my manager all that much.

We greet each other when we see each other and if we talk, it is about something specific related to work. It is the same with the assistant nurse managers. I get along with them fine. My expectations are simple.

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