Do I let her know about my brother??

P_RN, ADN, RN · Apr 14, 2007

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT A "NEXT TIME" EXPERIENCE WITH THIS OFFFICE?

I think I would have to discuss this with the surgeon. Those of us who have worked in the OR know surgeons who run off at the mouth about the sleeping patient. I wonder if this LPN takes her cues from some such physician.

It was a privacy violation for the coworker to enter your exam room and for that alone you need to mention it to the doctor.

Perhaps the 4 of you could gather and hear what you have to say. I cannot imagine ANY comeback that would be appropriate.

DreamyEyes · Apr 14, 2007

Recently I was in the surgeon's office as a follow up for hernia surgery. The nurse who works in the office doesn't really know me--or that I am a nurse. As she was taking my BP/temp, her friend entered the exam room (door was open) and asked her if she was ready for lunch.
The two began talking as if I wasn't there--the friend (don't know if she was an aide or nurse) said, "I have to spend whole day babysitting some kid who tried to commit suicide".
My nurse says, "Oh, those people--why don't they just get it right the first time so we don't have to deal with them. (laughs) Most of them are waste cases anyways so let them go--maybe you could give tips how to be successful next time."
Whole time I was sitting there listening to them I was getting more upset. Now you see both my brothers have died due to suicide. And to me and my family they were not waste cases--they suffered from severe depression. At the time I didn't say anything because I was speechless and still not feeling 100% from surgery.
I have been in nursing for over 24 years. I know the things that are said during report etc. by some people. Mostly because they haven't experienced someone who is suicidal or has substance abuse. I have to return for f/u next week. I am "dying"(sorry bad pun) to tell this nurse off. But should I quietly discuss this with her, or really make her see my point by hitting her with all guns (bringing in pics of my brother and his daughter who grew up without her dad and making this discussion known to her supervisor).
I am having a hard time letting this unprofessionalism go unnoticed. I also know that I want to educate people about suicide and depression. Anyone have any thoughts???

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Suicide has also affected my family---although we stopped my sister before she could do anything. 3 years later, she's a much happier person now. Depression is a disease, and some people just don't understand that. :madface:

pinksugar · Apr 14, 2007

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss.

I am of the opinion that people should be able to think whatever they want. What they actually say, however, is a completely different story. Health care personnel should not be talking about patients in front of other patients, and they definitely shouldn't be saying things like that!:angryfire

I would confront the nurses privately and give them a chance to apologize. Sometimes we say things that family or patients would not appreciate, and that is why they should not be said in front of patients or family. That doesn't mean they are bad nurses. I won't lie - I work on an oncology floor and sometimes I do get upset when I have a 40 year old mother of three young kids dying in one room and I am taking care of a patient in the next room that is perfectly healthy except for the fact that they are detoxing and suicidal. This is coming from the daughter of an alcoholic, BTW. That doesn't mean I should be crass but it does bug me.

TrudyRN · Apr 14, 2007

Yes, do speak up. Nicely, privately, and individually, in an educational way. Say whatever you think will help them each personally understand. If they are not responsive and repentant, time to involve their boss.

They violated privacy, they showed ignorance and/or stupidity/insensitivity.

They ignored YOU, the present patient.

Address all of these issues.

I once had a doc's assistant make fun of my loved one who, admittedly, is mentally ill. Nevertheless, I let her no that she was joking about my sick loved one. She was totally remorseful, probably scared for her job. It was all pretty hurtful and made me mad. I spoke up because I thought she should know not to do it in the future. Or to do it out of my hearing, at the very least.

TazziRN, RN · Apr 14, 2007

And certainly, Miss Tazzi, I have a sneaking suspicion that you very easily recognized my Martyr mistake for what it was. Kinda like lookin' in the old mirror, eh?

Huh??? I had no idea what a Marty Mary was and wanted to know. I've never even heard the term Martyr Mary but at least that one I can figure out.

Why are you so acidic, Mab? Geez.......

moongirl · Apr 14, 2007

Huh??? I had no idea what a Marty Mary was and wanted to know. I've never even heard the term Martyr Mary but at least that one I can figure out.
Why are you so acidic, Mab? Geez.......

and.. why would Tazzi look in the mirror and see a martyr???:uhoh21:

Lisa CCU RN, RN · Apr 14, 2007

Those two women's comments were heartless as well as unprofessional.

I'm sorry you had to hear that crap.

Some people are either just idiots or don't know any better. I would have told them to can it right then and there, but that's just me.

Multicollinearity, BSN, RN · Apr 14, 2007

Actually, the most common psychological response to a shocking incident is to freeze. The more shocking - the more likely you are to not say anything at the time. It's only later that we can think of a million things to say in hindsight.

haras regnurps · Aug 21, 2007

I too think that you should mention it. My life too has been profoundly affected by a child with mental illness. I am so sorry you were hurt by this.
I will be very honest here and say that my son has truly humbled me. I used to think it was only "those" families (fill in the blank with broken, poor, careless,etc) that had mental illness involvement. However, it is not a cool dz with neat little ribbons, tons of money being donated, nothing. The mentally ill are those that we see alongside the road in our towns who are homeless, disheveled, talking to themselves, weaving all over the sidewalk. However, we must always be aware that these are someone's dear and very precious family member. Please don't be so quick to judge!
(I'm sorry for the rant!)

don't be sorry. if more nurses understood mental health/illness our jobs might be a little easier. mental illness has touched my family too.:uhoh21:

to the nurse in the drs office....................................

even tho the 2 nurses (?) in your surgeons office didn't have a HIPPA violation, they came darn close. too close and should be glad that the surgeon and office manager did not overhear the comment.:angryfire

The next time you go back, assuming that there will be another visit.

give them both a little thank-you note for giving you a patients eye view of this problem and let it be known how it made you feel at the time. used to have a co-worker tell me you kill more flys with sugar than you do with vinegar, it is true, besides it makes the flys crazy

:lol2: