Crazy Thing Pts Say or Do

  1. I thought it would be fun to share those crazy things pt say/do that just make you roll your eyes and say "HUH?"

    Here's mine.

    We have a patient who is allergic to the "round" tylenol, but can take the "oval" tylenol! Um- hate to tell you lady, but tylenol is tylenol!
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  2. 54 Comments

  3. by   TigerGalLE
    haha!! I had a patient tell me that he was done washing now and I could go ahead and put him in the dryer...
  4. by   Cattitude
    Quote from pepper the cat
    i thought it would be fun to share those crazy things pt say/do that just make you roll your eyes and say "huh?"

    here's mine.

    we have a patient who is allergic to the "round" tylenol, but can take the "oval" tylenol! um- hate to tell you lady, but tylenol is tylenol!
    arrgghh! i have pt's all the time that are "allergic" to generics and can only take name brand meds.
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  5. by   jo272wv
    We had a code blue in progress and the pt in the next bed over ask us to move the code pt to another room because he could not get to sleep. Later he called billing and told them he should have one night deducted from his bill for the inconvienence. BTW the coded pt went to icu and returned a week later and discharged two days after that.. Happy ending.:smiletea:
  6. by   TazziRN
    One horribly busy night in the ER we had a code going on in the trauma room. A parent in another room got impatient and started complaining. The LVN told him that the staff and doc were working with a dying pt. The parent said "Well, let him die so the doctor can take care of the rest of us!!"
  7. by   RGN1
    I had a male patient once who was trying to remember what operations he'd had when the consultant was asking about his previous medical history. He was really struggling then he suddenly said "Oh yes- I remember now - it was a hysterectomy!"

    That same patient then went on to talk about his "ball gladder" problems throughout the consult. I had to keep going out of the room because I wanted to laugh so much.
  8. by   jimthorp
    Quote from casbeezgirlrn
    arrgghh! i have pt's all the time that are "allergic" to generics and can only take name brand meds.



    this could be valid although i think rare. generic medicine is not always the same chemically as the trade name med.


    "i get nose bleeds because i am not allowed to eat salad"

    this person is on a mechanical soft diet. the only time she has had epitaxis is when she is digging for something, lol. incidently, the lettuce dietary uses is iceberg...the most nutritionally void lettuce there is.
    Last edit by jimthorp on Feb 10, '07
  9. by   txspadequeenRN
    i just love the patients that tell me they cant take certain meds cause they are allergic ..like

    i cant take lasix cause it makes me pee

    or

    i cant take benadryl cause it makes me sleepy......

    and there is no changin their minds
  10. by   Antikigirl
    Had a great one last night (not my patient, but helped the other nurse with him!).

    K...pt had three JP's, an NG, IV, foley, O2 via NC and was starting to become confused since the AM. Thought it was due to the pain meds, so the Day RN cut them down and still had great pain control, and pt was less loopy. Evening-Noc RN I guess didn't get the message and gave pt a full load of pain meds...then the excitement began!

    First, within just a few minutes while the pts nurse was next door helping a pt with emesis, pt pulled out foley, pulled off JP bulbs, pulled out IV, pulled out NG and took off oxygen. (she was JUST in the room!). Then proceeded to dress in nomal clothes and walk down the hall. Confused the pt walked into another room, started undressing to get back into bed. Lo and behold there was another patient in the bed asking what the heck was going on. The Woman in that room called us and we were there in seconds flat...and believe you me she was terrified to see that pt...a younger MALE naked in her room about to jump into her bed!!!!!!!!!!!!

    The guy said he thought when he woke up that he was in the wrong room and wanted to sleep with his wife, so he went to her room. I guess since the lady was three rooms down and the only room with a woman in it that worked in his world. I felt so bad for the lady...I would have been screaming obsenities if that had happened to me but she was calm, yet very frightened.

    We got the pt back to their room, tried to attach him to things but he would pull them right out saying things in word salad. "My brain is in the pink cooler over there with the tiger on it". or "I don't mind snakes, but these snakes are too noisy for me and my dog to sleep in our yellow comforter tonight on Mars!" Okkkkkkkkkkayyyyyyy!

    Well couldn't get a thing back on him for sure, called the MD which was really of no help, and got orders for a sitter at least to keep him in his room and clothed. No more pain meds till AM and then they will fix the damage done, put things back in, and try to get to the bottom of this.

    One nurse and I guessed it right on...no one bothered to notice he was an alcoholic and a meth user...he was going through withdrawls and wasn't on a CIWA scale (a scale we use to rate withdrawl symptoms and orders to treat with ativan dependant on score).

    Oh well...we got it straight ...LOL! (he was a new admit from the AM and I guess the ER didn't quite give us all the info we needed (certainly NOT a first from our particular ER!!!).
    Last edit by Antikigirl on Feb 10, '07
  11. by   nrsang97
    I had one woman tell me that the pills aren't the darvocet she was ordered, because the ones she has at home are red and these are pink (we also had white ones). I had to explain to her for about a half-hour that they were really darvocet. She continued to argue with me to the point I was exasperated. I finally convinced her that pills are made by different manufacturers and come in different colors.

    I had one pt scream at me for not giving her pain meds on time. I told her that I was checking on someone with chest pain and I had to make sure he was alright and I was sorry that I had been late. She told me "Well I AM HAVING ABDOMINAL PAIN AND I NEED MY MEDS ON TIME!!" I told her that I was sorry and I have to sometimes pay attention to someone elses pain first and she is now getting her meds. The pt finally appologized but her hubby kept following me around (room to room waiting for me at the door) telling me how she needed something stronger for pain. I finally had to lose it with him and the patient telling them how they were both irrational. I am not sure who was worse the pt or her husband.

    I have had frontal lobe injury or tumor patients who are just impulsive. I asked one woman who I was taking care of who was diagnosed with a frontal lobe tumor, and while doing a neuro check I asked her where she was ( after awakening her) she told me she was at the mall. I asked her are you sure? She said I am sure I am at the mall. She was confused at times but mostly pleasent.

    I had one confused pt who I was trying to get a manual BP on and the pt took the BP cuff and held onto it with a death grip and would not let go. I asked him for my BP cuff back and he told me he needed to "Keep it for evidence." I asked him for evidence of what and he told me "The crime you committed." I had to leave the room to laugh for a minute.

    I have so many others. And the list goes on now since I work the Neuro ICU.
  12. by   Antikigirl
    OH my favorite!

    WHen working in an ALF/LTC, I had a man come out in basically nothing holding a pillow and walking down the hall...I was called immediately but heard giggles on the walkie...oh great, this should be good.

    The gent told me that he needed to get to King Arthurs Round Table because the Queens annual fox hunt was about to begin and he needed to be there considering he was a knight.

    With a regal voice and not a single sign of not being a noble..I said "I am the Queen Sir Knight, and I have declaired the fox hunt cancled because of excessive rains, please return to your quarters with my thanks for being so prompt, and I will have my stewards bring you in some food!". He bowed and went back in!

    This man was always doing things like this, and it really was just best to play along because he would actually attack you if you didn't, but a gentle lamb if you redirected in his way of thinking. Made things fun, and after a while I would re-orient him after a little rest in his room . I miss that guy!

    A week later he was naked and running down the hallway with a roll of TP saying that he had to get the goat cheese wrapped and to market fast...made it to the lobby this time! LOL!!!!!!

    LOL, his family had the history channel blocked since I guess that was what he was watching most of these episodes and I guess assumed the role of what was going on. I said oh great...now what channels are left for him to act out??? LOL!!!!!!!!!!
  13. by   nrsang97
    I forgot about the one night I was working at my first nursing job. I was working 7p-7a. The patient was a known ETOH er. The hospital I work at had no real ETOH orders. Sometime during the night the pt started going into withdrawls. His wife called and said that he said "Captian Kirk" was talking to him. So I called his doc and got orders for IVP ativan prn. I was giving ativan more scheduled than prn. By morning things got out of control. I had to restrain him. He kept getting OOB and was getting slightly aggressive. I called the house doc and asked for a order for leathers. This guy had already ripped throught softs. I called security to put on the leathers and stated that the doc had orderd them but haden't signed the order yet. They came up and wanted to put him in softs. I explained that he had tore through them, but they wouldn't put him in leathers because the order wasn't signed. I explained that the doc was on his way and they put him in softs and left. This guy was 6'3" and weighed 300#. Sure enough he busted out of all but one soft restraint and fell. Security now tried to posey him but we didn't have one large enough. We finally had him in leathers. But geez we could have avoided the fall. What a night that was.

    I also had a pt who had fired the teaching team and no other doc would take him so he hired them back. One night one of the neurologists came in and examined him but was supposed to examine his roomate. The pt was pissed saying Dr.so and so was drunk and was sticking needles in his penis. He called the operator and told her this also. I was in and checking on the pt and explained that the doc exaimened him by mistake and didn't do anything wrong. I asked the roomate what happened, and the he stated that the doc was supposed to see him and examined his roomate instead. The pt wouldn't let it go. He called the operator again later that night asking for the number to Lee Free ( local lawyer that advertised on tv) the number was 1-800-lee free. I had to call the residents up to see this pt and asked for meds to calm him. Of course they thought it was funny and wouldn't give me an order. They were going to tell him the number and I told him if the pt is too stupid to realize what it was why open that can of worms. I still don't know if he ever called that lawyer or not.

    I had another pt admitted s/p seizure and was on suicide preccautions because his wife was fabricating that he was saying he wanted to kill himeslf. She was always giving him his meds including his seizure meds. She blamed him for missing ativan or xanax of their daughers at home. This guy wanted to leave AMA and decided while with a sitter he would take off down the stairs, IV pole and all. I remember having to chase him down the stairs and I convinced him to come back. I truly believe his wife was insane.

    I had a pt also who was faking seizures she would call and say she was about to have a seizure. She was faking one of her seizures so I called the doc on call and he came up to see the pt. We talked outside and agreed that she was a faker. He asked for a toomey syringe and a large bore needle. He took them into the room and told her "I have to drain some fluid from behind your eyeballs to stop you from having seizures." The pt immediately stopped seizing and faking them. The doc was so inapproiate but really funny. This girl was 18 and that night we had orders to transfer to Childrens hospital and they told me that they have actually coded her and intubated her she was that good a faker. This girl was CRAZY. She would call and make threats to her family. Her family was scared of her.

    This was from my first 2 years of nursing. Sometimes I remeber these patients and I just shake my head.
  14. by   allantiques4me
    I was working on a foot wound on one of my little patients,just as I finished dressing his wound,he pulled out a POCKETFUL of crickets!!He proceeded to put them in the water we just soaked his foot in,to see if they could swim!OMGI hate bugs!It was funny anyways.

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