Crazy Thing Pts Say or Do

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I thought it would be fun to share those crazy things pt say/do that just make you roll your eyes and say "HUH?"

Here's mine.

We have a patient who is allergic to the "round" tylenol, but can take the "oval" tylenol! Um- hate to tell you lady, but tylenol is tylenol!

Specializes in Brain injury,vent,peds ,geriatrics,home.

I was working on a foot wound on one of my little patients,just as I finished dressing his wound,he pulled out a POCKETFUL of crickets!!He proceeded to put them in the water we just soaked his foot in,to see if they could swim!OMGI hate bugs!It was funny anyways.

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Specializes in Gerontology.
II had one pt scream at me for not giving her pain meds on time. I told her that I was checking on someone with chest pain and I had to make sure he was alright and I was sorry that I had been late. She told me "Well I AM HAVING ABDOMINAL PAIN AND I NEED MY MEDS ON TIME!!" .

That reminds of a patient I had who would yell, at the top of her lunds "I can't breathe!" I'd tell, sweety, if you can yell that loud, you can breathe!

Then there was this LOL who used to beat the crap out of us when we were doing her personal care. First she would take off her O2, then pull our hair, punch us and etc . But then she would get so out of breath that she would de-sat and become lethargic. We would wait for that, quickly finish care, put the O2 on and tuck her back into bed. At that point she would smile at us and say "thank you".

Then theres the LOL who smiles at you sweetly says "You're cute". Just when you think "What a sweet lady", she decks you! :roll

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Specializes in Orthosurgery, Rehab, Homecare.

I remember a very confused old gent who had had a CVA. He was always confabulating and going on about something. If we gave him an excuse he would quit or go to sleep and move on to something else. One day we could not get him to switch gears.

Apparently he was at the church trying to deliver wine for communion and he needed the preist to come tell him where to put it so he could go out to his van and bring it in. We mean nuns (staff) wouldn't get the preist to talk to him. He kept telling us that he was never bringing wine to that church again.

We knew that he'd be a handfull when, upon arrival to the unit, he rolled by in his bed directing the staff pushing it on how to land the "plane" safely. "If you do everything I say we can land safely. Otherwise were all going to die."

~Jen

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Specializes in School Nursing.

Triage....this one cracked me up !:roll

Sometimes what you did with this gentleman is the best you can do.

I admire you for your tact !:coollook:

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"I am allergic to Lortab 5 but the 10's are OK" :uhoh3:

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Specializes in Critical Care.

Patient came in symptomatic bradycardia. Patient's chart stated allergy to adenosine. When the patient was asked what happened when she took adenosine..........Her heart rate sped up and she was told that could be bad for her.

tvccrn

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There's been so many things that I can't even think of them all.

Recently when I was getting someone's history during admission, she told me she had temporal arthritis. (Actually, it was temporal arteritis.)

One night, a confused lady kept trying to go out into the hall. I tried to steer her back to bed. She still kept trying to go toward the door and said she needed to go to the bathroom. So, I told her the bathroom was on the other side of the bed and helped her walk to it. She said, "ohhh, you moved it for me! How nice of you! This will be so much easier for me!" This was the same lady who I found struggling to get the center of the sheet over her naked body. I about laughed when I walked in and found her butt naked and pulling so hard on that sheet. She said she was trying to put on a different blouse.

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Specializes in infusion.
This could be valid although I think rare. Generic medicine is not always the same chemically as the trade name med.

"I get nose bleeds because I am not allowed to eat salad"

This person is on a mechanical soft diet. The only time she has had epitaxis is when she is digging for something, LOL. Incidently, the lettuce dietary uses is iceberg...the most nutritionally void lettuce there is.

Indeed these statements are often valid.. The fda requires meds to be chemically the same but they do not dictate that the binding agents be the same. Patients are often sensitive to the binding agent and not the drug itself, so it is possible to be allergic to one brand of say ibuprofen and not another!!!!

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Specializes in TCU,ICU,OHRR,PACU,5Solid Organ Transplan.

Years ago, when I was a nursing assistant (female) I had a patient tell me all night that I "remind me of someone famous", "You'll be glad when I remember who it is". After 12 hours he finally remembers who the famous person was......Don Johnson!! He actually thought I was a guy.

After becoming a nurse, I worked in ICU/Transplants. I had a patient who received a liver transplant the previous year and was awaiting another. She was the color of a pumpkin. I swear, she seemed to Glow-in-the-dark! Her amonia level was out the roof, not to mention all the other chemical abnormalities. She was confused, trying to get OOB, pulling at her A-line, etc.

Mistake #1-I asked her what I needed to do to keep her in the bed. She said, "let me call my daughter". I said, "it's 2 am, you can't call her. She's asleep". She said, "I'm not going to let YOU get any sleep until I talk with my daughter!"

Mistake #2-After much senseless debate, I said, "OK. I'll let you call your daughter. That means you have to stay in bed." I guided her to the nurses' station and a phone. She turned her back to us and spoke in low tones so we couldn't hear her "private conversation". 10-15 minutes later she hangs up and announces, "I will now return to my bed...For now".

It takes me 15 minutes to get her back in bed. I come to the desk and a co-worker says, "You have a phone call". I am authoritatively asked, "What's your name". The conversation went on for about 1-2 minutes when I realized she had called the police! She gave them the hospital name, my name, room number and department. She was trying to convince him that I was trying to kill her!!!! Only after torturing her!!!

We laughed so hard, my stomach muscles were sore the next am.

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Specializes in TCU,ICU,OHRR,PACU,5Solid Organ Transplan.

:roll

haha!! I had a patient tell me that he was done washing now and I could go ahead and put him in the dryer...

Thats classic!!! LOL :)

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I have had several patient tell me they are allergic to epinephrine that it makes their hearts race............................ well lets hope so.

Though I can relate, one time for dental work the dentist gave me a shot of novacaine with epie and according to him it must have hit an arteriole and my heart was racing about 200bpm while sitting in a chair. After that I wouldn't let him use epie again. I was too freaked out. Eventually my dentist started using again without my knowledge and I had no problem. He said it would be rare to happen twice.

The other funny thing was a patient said he was allergic to oxygen. He said he couldn't receive any oxygen during surgery. Though not scheduled for general anesthesia the anesthesilogist refused to do surgery unless he agreed to accept O2 if it was needed. Eventually the patient agreed.

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Specializes in Lie detection.
This could be valid although I think rare. Generic medicine is not always the same chemically as the trade name med.

.

Oh sure except they have no allergic symptoms whatsover! Nope, I get to know my pt's very well. They like the brands they know and love, Coumadin,Dilantin, etc. When insurance doesn't want to pay for it anymore, they start screeching about allergies :chuckle

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