baby sleeping in same bed as parents

  1. Someone who is related to me has a new baby. They mentioned by the way the baby has slept in their bed with them every night for his 8 week old life. I am worried they will accidently crush the baby, not mention a host of other issues. They basically told me this is what they want to do. I need help- what do my friends at All Nurses say?? Does this fall in the category of parental decisions and butt out?

    Thanks in advance

    Margaret
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  2. 98 Comments

  3. by   Captain Tripps
    As a Paramedic I have ran two calls where someone has rolled over onto and smothered an infant sleeping with them in bed. I cannot imagine the guilt and pain that person will live with for the rest of their lives.

    In my opinion it is an absolute, infants belong in a crib for their safety.

    Peace,
    Tripps
  4. by   NeosynephRN
    Well...I am not sure that I will have the popular vote here...but I have had a family bed with all my kids and will do it again if we ever have another! I am an EMT-B and an almost nurse...I made my decisions on research and what was right for my family. I have never once gotten anywhere near rolling over and crushing one of my children. I do belive that most accidents that occur like that are with parents that are under the influence. I think if they are taking the appropraite precautions...no blankets, pillows or other young children in the bed...then it is just fine...however this is only my opinion!
  5. by   maggijo
    It's probably not your business, but if I were in your shoes, I would ask if they have considered a co-sleeper that attaches to the side of the bed. As much as I am a proponent of having your infant close to you, especially for the sake of breastfeeding, I also know someone whose child suffocated in bed with them... I wouldn't feel comfortable not mentioning something to this couple, even though they probably won't want to hear it. Just my humble opinion, as a mom, not yet a nurse.
  6. by   maggijo
    I know alcohol can play a role in accidents, but sleep deprivation is also a powerful and scary force, as well. I did some strange things in my sleep, according to my husband, after the birth of my boys. It's just not a risk worth taking, in my opinion.
  7. by   TazziRN
    There is a contraption sold to keep baby in bed with mom and dad without the danger of crushing. It's a snuggle nest, available at Babies R Us and Target.
  8. by   kukukajoo
    I am pretty sure that the american academy of pediatrics recommends AGAINST co sleeping for infants. It is a known risk factor for SIDS and greatly increases the odds the baby will die of SIDS.

    I also know of a woman whose infant died in her bed with her. I can't imagine the pain that would put a parent through and I doubt that I could have ever forgiven myself it had happened to me.

    Calla, I understand how you feel, but why take the risk? My kids slept with me with they were older whenever they wanted, but not as an infant.
    Last edit by kukukajoo on Mar 20, '07 : Reason: to clairify
  9. by   jill48
    My husband and I let both our sons sleep with us when they were babies. As a matter of fact, they didn't sleep in their own beds until almost 5. I loved it and so did they. My babies never had to cry to sleep. I would totally do it again.
  10. by   NeosynephRN
    Quote from kukukajoo
    Calla, I understand how you feel, but why take the risk? My kids slept with me with they were older whenever they wanted, but not as an infant.
    You feel it is a risk and I do not....they have no other risk factors...I do not smoke, or drink, they do not use a blanket or pillow, and are always on their backs...so I feel that I am taking the proper precautions with them in bed with me. My kids do not all sleep with me...just the little one..she is one now. When my oldest was born, he had some issues with breathing when he was flat on his back...we were told to have him sleep in his car seat...well that worked for about a day..so into bed he came, where my husband held him upright all night every night...untill he had surgery when he was 6 weeks old. After surgery the Dr. told us that he would have likely died in his sleep if he had gotten congested or even had spit up and swallowed wrong, due to his nasal malformation. So what is right for me and my family may not be right for you...but please do not act like I take the life of my children for granted.
  11. by   twinmommy+2
    All four of my children have slept with me until they could sleep through the night. Even the twins. When the twins were born dh was working nights so yeah I didn't get much sleep but got more that way then if they were sleeping (or trying to) in a crib. Plus I never drank alcohol or took anything that might keep me from waking up.

    It is also much easier on a breast feeing mom for them to sleep in the bed. I feel more atuned to their needs when they are next to me rather than wondering what is going on in the next room. All I had to do was wake some, feel her/his chest rise and fall, go back to sleep for peace of mind.

    Kind of wish I had one of those snuggle nests, that would have been nice to try.
    Last edit by twinmommy+2 on Mar 20, '07
  12. by   crissrn27
    Hi all, wanted to add my .02. I co-slept with all of my kids. I am a strong supporter of cosleeping, but you have to know yourself. If you know you are a deep sleeper, too tired, taken meds, drank etoh, etc you should know not to sleep with a small infant. Also, do research. Mattress on the floor, no heavy covers or pillows, mattress low to floor (not 3 foot high where baby can fall). My husband couldn't sleep alone with our kids b/c he knows he wouldn't hear/feel them if he rolled over in his sleep or if they woke up. If your friend is "going by the rules" of co-sleeping then support them. Or educate them if needed. This, like alot of things in parenthood, is an area that has to be researched and have to follow the guidelines so the baby won't be hurt. BTW, more infant deaths and injury result from entrapment in the headboard, etc than rolling on infant or smothering. I think the aap does NOT support co-sleeping, have to check on that. I am a nursery RN and don't encorage my new moms to sleep with baby in hospital, they are tired and the floor is very hard
  13. by   Justhere
    Had my daughters baby bed butted up to the side of my bed and the slide rail off so that her mattress and my mattress were the same height. When she would cry I would get her to breastfeed, as soon as she was finished I would scoot her back over into the crib, and that worked great.

    But sadly just this week we had a 3 month old brought into the ER that had been smothered in her mothers bed when the mother rolled over on her.
  14. by   traumaRUs
    I too have run several calls as a pre-hospital provider as well as provided care to other infants who's parents rolled over on them.

    That said, I did breastfeed both my sons, but never left them in bed to sleep with me. My point was that Mom and Dad's bed was their bed and the child had his own bed.

    However, I do think parents need to make decisions for what works for them. Its just not my thing.

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