A question to nurses with children

earthcrosser · Jul 29, 2012

The negativity is there because it sucks to always get begged for favors (with nothing offered in return or those same people telling you they won't help you when you need it). I used to switch with people or take their unwanted shifts, but it quickly became an expected thing (or they would always refuse to help me when I needed it), so I simply stopped. Last year, I was workng the 24th, 25th, and 26th of December since everyone in my family was going out of town (it was my year to work Christmas), and someone threw a fit because I wouldn't work the 23rd for them (they were not working any of the actual Christmas holiday). Workng weekends and holidays is not super fun, but it's part of hospital life. If you can find people to swap, be nice to them and try to help them out as well.

proud nurse, BSN, RN · Jul 29, 2012

The only holiday I cared about working was Christmas. The others I could deal with, and my family understood. I could usually find someone who wanted to party on New Years eve/day that was willing to work Christmas eve/day in exchange. Now that I'm working in a hospital with alot of nurses with young kids, who knows how it'll pan out. But, I can honestly say when my kids were small I had it made. It's time for me to pay it forward now that my kids are grown.

LouisVRN, RN · Jul 29, 2012

Having 2 young children, I work nights so I can spend all the holidays at home. Even if sometimes it means staying up 36+ hours. We all sacrifice somewhere. But nights works well for me. The only nights I try to get off are Halloween, usually not a problem as a lot of people don't care about working Halloween and Christmas Eve. But even Christmas Eve all we usually do is go look at Christmas lights so we can really do that any day.

alovelymother · Jul 29, 2012

What do you do when you have to work holidays? Do you sacrifice your time with family on those special days or is there any way you can switch days with a co-worker? What about after a little senority? Do you get to pick and choose a little more then? When I think about being a nurse I can only picture myself working in a hospital setting, which means crazy hours and schedules, right? I have three small children and there's certain holidays I want to be there for always. So what's a parent to do? How do you handle that situation? Or should I just count on working in a doctor's office until they're older so I have a better schedule?

At my hospital we work one summer and one winter holiday every year. The holiday we work rotates. Seniority doesn't matter. My nm figures if we are all part of a team we shouldn't shovel all the holidays on the newer people.

It actually works out really well. If I work Christmas we celebrate Christmas Eve. Then my brothers and sisters can go to their in laws on the actual day without trying to run around visiting both families. My husband can go to his parents. My kids get a kick out of bringing my coworkers treats so I do get to see them for at least a few minutes that day.

OB-nurse2013, BSN, RN · Jul 29, 2012

I will throw this in. When I was working at the hospital, I'm not anymore now Im a senior nursing student, I started childless and I did work every single holiday. I had my firstborn shortly after and I was able to get most holidays off. Now when I start working as a nurse I am a bit worried because my husband is a paramedic and works a lot of holidays and it is important to me to have at least one of us there, our guys are still little. My point is before I had kids and all my co-workers had babies and toddlers and wanted holidays off it never offended me, holidays are for kids mostly.

BluegrassRN · Jul 29, 2012

I can honestly say when my kids were small I had it made. It's time for me to pay it forward now that my kids are grown.

Nice of you to remember! I typically volunteer to work Christmas night if I'm not scheduled for Christmas eve, for the same reason. In our scheduling system, if Christmas is our holiday, we work the night before AND the night of. I think that's pretty unfair (day shift doesn't work the day before and the day of the holiday...), but I've been unsuccessful in changing this particular policy. So I just suck it up when it comes around to my turn every three years, and the other two years I only work the night of Christmas, so that one of my co workers with small children can have at least part of the holiday with his/her family. Frankly, my family is in a food and fun coma by the afternoon, so it doesn't much matter if I take a nap and then go in to work for the night! My kids are teens, they're fine with it.

DizzyLizzyNurse · Jul 30, 2012

I think some of us (myself included) have been burned by coworkers who are parents because there isn't a give and take on their part. This is also how I read your question at first. ("Oh no, here we go again.") I have offered to work Christmas (my family celebrates Christmas Eve so I don't care about having Christmas Day off) for someone with kids only to be told there's no way they would work New Year's for me. Or they want a day off for some event for their kid but then won't work a day for you. It gets very tiresome. Yes, sometimes you can switch. Sometimes you will have to work. You could work in a dr's office, but I remember one offered me $12/hr when I was making $19/hr at the LTC place I used to work. Not worth it to me.

Also, I had a father who was a firefighter so he worked holidays. Trust me when I say your kids won't be scarred if they have to wait an extra day to celebrate something or maybe even do it early. Suspense makes it even more exciting.

jennilynn · Jul 30, 2012

I always try to take my kids' bdays off. Not always doable since one lands on Thanksgiving some years.

I went into healthcare knowing that it's 24/7/365 and my family adjusts accordingly.

I work with many people who feel entitled because they have kids. Newsflash- that doesn't make you special! Why should you get every Easter, thanksgiving, Christmas off?

Elladora · Jul 31, 2012

The rule at our facility - if you work a holiday one year, you get it off the next. That said, we do a LOT of trading and it generally works out. For example, my family has always celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve, so I will work Christmas Day. My son's birthday is on New Year's Day. The younger people I work with like to have New Year's Eve off, so I work New Year's Eve in exchange for them working New Year's Day.

My kids are a little older, so I'm generally willing to do a little give and take. That said, just because you have young children doesn't mean you should automatically be exempt from working holidays. (Not saying that applies to you, just saying in general). As many others have said, I knew nursing was a 24/7/365 career when I started nursing school.

LogCabinMom · Aug 13, 2012

I have to say that after 5 years of nursing, I am sick of working holidays. I've had to work the last 4 d/t staff shortages and I'm tired of not being home with my husband and children - so tired of it I'm either trying to get a school nurse job or just quit altogether and go per diem and then only work when I want to. Top it all off with a 2% pay cut, the hospital rescinding their profit sharing, and finding out that a new hire's pay is $5 more than mine (same experience) - I'm ready to be out of there.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Aug 13, 2012

What do you do when you have to work holidays? Do you sacrifice your time with family on those special days or is there any way you can switch days with a co-worker? What about after a little senority? Do you get to pick and choose a little more then? When I think about being a nurse I can only picture myself working in a hospital setting, which means crazy hours and schedules, right? I have three small children and there's certain holidays I want to be there for always. So what's a parent to do? How do you handle that situation? Or should I just count on working in a doctor's office until they're older so I have a better schedule?

Very young children cannot read a calendar and don't know that Santa is "supposed" to come on December 25. They'll be just as delighted if he arrives on the 23rd or 27th. Older kids who can read a calendar will be thrilled with the explanation that "Santa is coming on a very special day just for us because Mommy and Daddy have to be at work to help sick people on Christmas this year." They'll be even MORE thrilled if they get to have Christmas with Grandma (or their best friend's family) on December 25 and another celebration at home with you on the day off your choice.

Over the years, I've found that this fixation on celebrating Christmas on December 25 is more about the parents than the children.

And why is it that no one is fixated about celebrating Christmas with their elderly parents on December 25?

Ruby Vee, BSN · Aug 13, 2012

It was never my kids that were a problem, but rather my parents and in-laws. They always got really bent out of shape if my schedule didn't mesh with their plans. Remember that childless people are someone else's child! Their elderly parents might want to see them on a holiday, and one could argue that ought to take precedence over a child's hopes, as the kids probably have more holiday's left!
FTR, I think the OP might have rose colored glasses, but I don't think she was expecting that she not have to work because she has kids. To answer your original question OP, yes, sometimes you just have to sacrifice and miss things.

Thank you for remembering the elderly parents! Some of those elderly parents (not my mother, unfortunately) can actually read the calendar and realize that they're spending Christmas alone. The little kids are just happy to have Santa come, whenever he makes it to their house!