A doctor made me cry!

  1. I am a fairly new nurse working in OB. Yesterday I was scrubbing a pts. belly for a c-section and apparently I wasnt doing it right. It was only maybe my 5th time doing it and the problem is that everyone I'm with teaches me differently. But anyway, the doctor was standing there and getting all huffy and when I was done I just went to the corner with my paperwork and I couldnt help but cry a little. The doctor didnt know at the time but unfortunately one of the other nurses confronted her and told her she made me cry!!! I'm not happy about that. Anyway, later that evening the doctor did come find me and talk to me about it, and was nice about it actually. So that was a relief. I just feel like such an unprofessional loser!!
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  2. 33 Comments

  3. by   canoehead
    For Pete's sake, if the doc wants it done a certain way she can tell you nicely or walk over and do it herself. Just hand the prep to her next time and ask her to show you...
  4. by   TazziRN
    Hey, the other nurse thought she was looking out for you, and give the doc a lot of credit for making it right. I'm so sorry you were in that position, but by being told how you felt, the doc learned about her own attitude.
  5. by   peds4now
    With experience I am sure this kind of thing will just blow right over your head and not even phase you! Read all the protocols/policies on the belly scrub, develop your own style, and like the other poster said, be ready to just hand the task over to the doc if they don't like how you do it! You are a little insecure, and that doctor is probably too-or else she would have done what many other do and just said I'd like to do that myself!

    Don't feel ashamed that you cried. I'm assuming you are female, and we are conditioned to show tears at the drop of a hat. Build a friendship with that doc, because she was cool to talk to you about it later.
  6. by   miko014
    Hey, that stuff happens - it reminds me of that scene in A League of their Own - there's no crying in baseball. Remember how the second time that Jimmy yells at Evelyn and he's trying so hard to keep himself under control? Lol that's a great movie. Anyway, docs should learn from that. I know I'd be a lot nicer to them if they were to me. It sounds like your situation turned out okay, just be thankful that that doc was willing to make it right!
  7. by   chillipepper72
    As in life we all have things that make us cry one time or another. Once you have been doing things for a while it will be like "oh I am so sorry but I did not hear you when you made a suggestion." I was once told by a doctor "all I want to hear out of you is yes sir, no sir okay." I polietly replied "you are not my father or my husband" later that day he told me that was having a bad day and did not mean to be so gruff with me. you will develop a tough skin but it is also okay to cry and to let it out or else we might just blow up. take it as a lesson learned and keep your head up. It will get easier. Just remember they put their pants on the same way we do, one leg at a time.
  8. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I have been known (and my coworkers will vouch for this) to pull docs aside in private and let them know I did NOT appreciate being dressed down, especially in public. I always wait til the heat of the moment is long past for all concerned and always do this one-on-one. I also will speak up when they are yelling at me, that there is nothing wrong with my hearing nor comprehension, so kindly lower your voice. Or I give them the "look" (you have seen it I am sure). These all work at varying times and with certain personalities.

    Believe me, they may get angry or annoyed, they may want to blow you off, but on one level, they will respect you a lot more for taking them aside and telling them how you feel directly----and their treatment of you will, almost invariably, change for the better. Will things be hunky-dory? No because difficult personalities are always around. But even the difficult ones will leave those whom they do not perceive as "easy targets" alone. You do teach others how to treat you---that tired old saying is true. Don't let anyone make you his or her doormat, not other nurses, not ancilliary personnel, your manager, NOR these doctors!!!! There is always a "right" way to correct someone and humiliating them is NOT it.

    What would I have done as a new nurse in that particular situation? I have been there; I would have said, "well I am always willing to learn and if you want, I would be glad to step aside and be shown by you or another experienced nurse how you like this done" and be very matter-of-fact. I would (and have been know) to say such things looking them right in the eye, with a smile on my face. Why? Because it ain't personal, and the problem is THEIRS not mine....

    I am sorry for your tears. Most of us have shed them from time to time in stressful times at work. That does not make you unprofessional or a baby, but human. And if you really don't want coworkers taking up for you (as I prefer not)---then politely tell them so. And then deal with these things yourself. It will get easier as you gain experience, trust me.
    Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on Apr 26, '07
  9. by   CHATSDALE
    i wish i could tell you that it won't happen again but out there is another doc getting up on the wrong side of the bed or just so full of themselves they don't know or care how what they say comes out

    you will get thicker skin.as you gain more confidence in your self you will know when to stand up and when to let it slide
  10. by   RNperdiem
    Put it down to being a new nurse.
    I compare the first year as a nurse to the first year as a parent. You are under a lot of stress, have to take on a new role, and can be an emotional roller coaster at times.
  11. by   woody436
    OMG! You all sound like a bunch of abused women in group therapy! STOP TAKING ABUSE FROM DOCTORS!! Why are you making excuses for this doctor and her behavior?!?!? "woke up on the wrong side of the bed" "at least she made it right"!?!? No she didn't...she still made shortstuff look like a fool in front of other people...and MADE HER CRY!! Don't you see the bigger picture here? Were you scrubbing the belly according to standards? I'm sure you were. Tell the doctor to go scratch! I'm all for professionalism, but not at the expense of my own self-respect. Don't give this doctor any more latitude. The abuse will continue if it's not taken care of.
  12. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Excuse me, Woody? Please do not lump all the posts together like this. All were trying to provide support for the OP. And there were suggestions for proactive behaviors that may change this.

    Also remember, if the attitudes are to change, the climate supporting nurses is necessary for these to happen. I don't know all about the OPs workplace and how much support (or not) she can expect or got in this situation.

    Again, reread my post. Nowhere do I see an abused person acting defensively providing advice here.

    Thank you.
    Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on Apr 26, '07
  13. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from woody436
    omg! you all sound like a bunch of abused women in group therapy! stop taking abuse from doctors!! why are you making excuses for this doctor and her behavior?!?!? "woke up on the wrong side of the bed" "at least she made it right"!?!? no she didn't...she still made shortstuff look like a fool in front of other people...and made her cry!! don't you see the bigger picture here? were you scrubbing the belly according to standards? i'm sure you were. tell the doctor to go scratch! i'm all for professionalism, but not at the expense of my own self-respect. don't give this doctor any more latitude. the abuse will continue if it's not taken care of.
    [font="comic sans ms"]you might want to take it down a notch there, woody.

    this physician may have behaved inappropriately and acted like an ass, but shortstuff made herself cry. not saying that i haven't been there; done that. the physician may (or may not) have been in the wrong. but she didn't "make" anyone cry. we cry (or don't cry) all by ourselves.
  14. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Good point. Nobody made me cry either but there were times I did. But always in private AFTER work, not in the presence of the offending party.

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