A doctor made me cry!

Nurses General Nursing

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I am a fairly new nurse working in OB. Yesterday I was scrubbing a pts. belly for a c-section and apparently I wasnt doing it right. It was only maybe my 5th time doing it and the problem is that everyone I'm with teaches me differently. But anyway, the doctor was standing there and getting all huffy and when I was done I just went to the corner with my paperwork and I couldnt help but cry a little. The doctor didnt know at the time but unfortunately one of the other nurses confronted her and told her she made me cry!!! I'm not happy about that. Anyway, later that evening the doctor did come find me and talk to me about it, and was nice about it actually. So that was a relief. I just feel like such an unprofessional loser!!

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Good point. Nobody made me cry either but there were times I did. But always in private AFTER work, not in the presence of the offending party.

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Specializes in ER, Pre-Hospital.

Okay...perhaps I was a bit "aggressive" there...I'm just passionate about this issue. I've just never seen the abuses like this in other workplace settings. It seems nurses, especially female nurses, are prone to verbal abuse by doctors. No one should have to put up with that!

Prior to coming into nursing, I was in the high-tech field installing multi-million dollar software platforms. Not a day went by where there was a glitch or hardware problem that stalled the install. As stressful as it was to make sure the client was happy and the install was completed on time, no one ever screamed or yelled or humiliated anyone. Sure there were heated discussions, but never in front of anyone. No one would put up with that behavior.

So, SmilingBluEyes...my apologies for my "shoot from the hip" posting. You are indeed correct in that I should not lump everyone into that assumption.

Woody

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What can be shrugged off with a big roll of the eyes for an experienced nurse, is often too much taken to heart by someone less experienced.

A new nurse might cry. The experienced nurse would have handed the swab over and said "here you go."

When you start getting older than the doctors, how you see them changes too.

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Specializes in ER, ICU, L&D, OR.

Dont ever let a doctor make you cry.Never.

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Okay...perhaps I was a bit "aggressive" there...I'm just passionate about this issue. I've just never seen the abuses like this in other workplace settings. It seems nurses, especially female nurses, are prone to verbal abuse by doctors. No one should have to put up with that!

Prior to coming into nursing, I was in the high-tech field installing multi-million dollar software platforms. Not a day went by where there was a glitch or hardware problem that stalled the install. As stressful as it was to make sure the client was happy and the install was completed on time, no one ever screamed or yelled or humiliated anyone. Sure there were heated discussions, but never in front of anyone. No one would put up with that behavior.

So, SmilingBluEyes...my apologies for my "shoot from the hip" posting. You are indeed correct in that I should not lump everyone into that assumption.

Woody

Well, Woody...at least you made it right.

:chuckle ;)

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Thanks Woody; your gracious apology is accepted. I also have a high tech background in the military, so I understand where you are coming from, to a degree. I learned really quickly how not to be anyone's victim. But it takes experience and time for some of us. It's not second nature in some cases and some folks are more easily hurt than others. I will say, if one is a new nurse, it's not hard to be intimidated by a very rude or condescending doc who makes a fool of her in front of her coworkers and/or patient. I can easily see how this makes some people cry.

But like I said, I withheld that until work was over. I have not (so far) ever let a doctor see me cry because of anything he/she said or did to me. I was, however, never afraid to address rotten treatment of me in private at a more appropriate time. But again, that ability to do so with any ease comes with experience.

The only time I really felt like crying was when a doctor I respected enormously expressed his disappointment in me over a mistake I made. His words were so kind and his demeanor so calm, I wanted to cry for letting him down----not because of what he said. I just don't have any tears over docs saying mean or stupid things to me---I know it is not personal, either.

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I have been there and I knopw you cannot stop the tears! I have just learned to speak up for myself and not take that kind of crap.. Most MDs just want to see if they can break you and they actually are impressed if u stand up for yourself.. it will come with time!

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Okay...perhaps I was a bit "aggressive" there...I'm just passionate about this issue. I've just never seen the abuses like this in other workplace settings. It seems nurses, especially female nurses, are prone to verbal abuse by doctors. No one should have to put up with that!

Prior to coming into nursing, I was in the high-tech field installing multi-million dollar software platforms. Not a day went by where there was a glitch or hardware problem that stalled the install. As stressful as it was to make sure the client was happy and the install was completed on time, no one ever screamed or yelled or humiliated anyone. Sure there were heated discussions, but never in front of anyone. No one would put up with that behavior.

So, SmilingBluEyes...my apologies for my "shoot from the hip" posting. You are indeed correct in that I should not lump everyone into that assumption.

Woody

I understand where you are coming from, Woody. I, too, get upset with the way some doctors treat nurses. I don't stand for it. I am tired, I am burnt out, I am stressed out, and probably have a little bit of PMS on most days. I wish they would take their frustrations out on me. I will clean their clock and eat their lunch, too. LOL!!!

But a lot of nurses do take crap off of MDs and those nurses need to stand up for themselves a little bit more. A doctor won't be so quick to go off on those they know will give them a run for their money and possible embarrass them right back.

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Hi I am a new nurse, and would like to know what exactly is the correct way to prep the patient's stomach? It seems everyone has their own technique. Don't want to learn the wrong one. Thanks.

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I don't see this as much an abuse issue as a competentcy issue. The op admits that this was only her 5th time doing this and had been shown several different ways to do so. I too would have probably been ill tempered if I were with someone performing the procedure wrong not realizing that they were "new'..and even then when do they stop being "new". The doctor in this case was at least caring enough to come back and talk the situation over with the OP which is far more than most doctors would even think to do. The one point I do agree on is that the Op should have stood up for herself perhaps say "This is still new to me and only the 5th one I've done could you tell me how you like it done?" vs saying nothing and leading others to think she/he knows what they are doing. Some of the doctors that have made me the most upset have also been the ones yelling at administration over nursing issues and staffing and treatment of the nurses and the ones willing to go to bat for you and get results.

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Specializes in ICU;CCU;Telemetry;L&D;Hospice;ER/Trauma;.

Hi shortstuff!

Working behind the hallowed doors of OR or L and D can sometimes be very harsh....I used to have to work with an A$$ surgeon who would smack the back of my hands with a kelly clamp if I didn't hand the instrument quick enough....or he would throw instruments on the floor in a fit of temper...real charmer, eh?

My supervisor, who just happened to be one of the nuns from the top Catholic teaching hospital at that time, re-arranged his thinking when he came in for an emergent appy....he was the patient this time....she took a picture of his winkie with a yellow ribbon tied around it....and when he woke up, it was taped to his bedrail!! (yes...I know....we could have all been tarred and feathered for this....but this was back in the '70's when we were all burning our bras and not takin' any more sh*&!) Needless to say, after she reminded him of his "shortcomings", he was ne'er too anxious to throw anything again at us in the OR....sometimes, it helps to have a little empowerment!

It sounds like you were supported okay through this...although, at the time, your guts were churning and you felt bad....all of us want to do our very best....and we are taught that anything less, in nursing school, or otherwise, just isn't acceptable...

You didn't fail, and you were doing your very best. I liked what one poster said about asking the Dr., "sometime, would you show me your preferences for prepping a belly?" and chances are, in most cases, the docs are really thankful someone would take the time to ask them.

I am sorry you felt bad, and that you thought you had done a bad job.

You didn't. Probably the people the hardest on us, are ourselves.

Stop beating yourself up. There's always a line outside the door waiting to do this for free....

Respect yourself enough to speak up...when you don't know something, say so...it isn't a crime to want to learn something new.

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Specializes in Mother/Baby;L/D.

Most OB docs are overworked and stressed from lack of sleep. And they especially try to harass newer L/D nurses (not all but alot) so DONT take it personal. You must not let them see you falter or they will remember that next time. If you are continuously being harassed take it up with your supervisor.

One MD on our unit is pretty ANAL retentive about the pitocin. He wants it increased every 20 minutes. When he wants an update, he asked when the Pit was started and mentally calculates to make sure it is at the "correct" concentration. The other day he told a fellow coworker "keep going up on the pit. i want her delivered by 7 pm" She got right back in his face and said "ok i'll write that out as an order. Increase pitocin per policy to deliver pt by 7 pm. Did u want to sign that now?"

lol

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