"What do you need Christmas off for? You don't have kids!" (rant)

[Marie_LPN, RN]

It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.

Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire

It's a wonder my head didn't explode. First off it wasn't her dang business what i wanted Christmas off for anyway, secondly how dare she make such a comment, as if those days won't mean squat to me all because i don't have children.

I'm sure her kids are important to her, i'm sure she would like to be there on those days, but the fact that i do not have children doesn't mean that things in my life are no less important. Nor should it mean that i should want to rearrange my life to accomodate someone that does. Which i've had to do a few times as a result of her taking 3 days weekends since august (we do self-scheduling). As a result of her doing this, i get screwed out of 3 days weekends 90% of the time. Her excuse for needing 3 days weekends? "Because i have kids." Not "My kid(s) has an appt., game, tournament, etc." "Because i have kids."

In no way am i knocking her because she has kids, or anyone, but it's almost like she expects accomodation from people because of the kids. It's not fair to everyone else. Everyone else manages and they have children. And everyone else at work wouldn't have made such a self-entitling statement about someone with no children having the holidays off, because most people take their turns every year. Just because i don't have children doesn not mean that i don't have a life or that i don't have things to do.

[MamaTheNurse, BSN, RN]

oops I forgot - that year, I actually had co-workers ask me if I wanted Christmas off because it was the baby's first one - I said "no" because it just worked out better the way it was!!!!!

[Fun2, BSN, RN]

I do have children, and I would want Christmas off. I realize that there will be many holidays that I will have to work.

As for being with your parents on Christmas, it's not the same. If I didn't have children, having Christmas late or early wouldn't be as big of deal.

However, the little children will be so upset without their moms or dads present to share the joy of Christmas morning. Just think how you would feel if your mom or dad wasn't at home on Christmas day when you were little.

As for the OP's coworker's comment, that was just completely rude. I'm sure many think it, but to come right out and say it, and so bluntly, is uncalled for.

As for the selling, I hate fundraisers! However, the children are not allowed to go door to door anymore. That is the reason the parents take the brochures to work.

Marie_LPN, I am sorry for your situation. I know at one hospital where I looked into had this plan in place:

Christmas day was worth 2 holidays, all others were worth one. All the employees were required to work 2 holidays. Therefore, those without children usually took the Christmas holiday in order to have all other holidays off.

I really think that your coworker was wrong to say this to you.

I have given thousands of dollars for bridal showers, wedding presents, second wedding presents, baby showers, bar/t mitzvah presents, graduation presents, baby's first birthday, etc. Not to mention bought ugly band candles, overpriced wrapping paper, and stale popcorn. Everyone always says, "well, we will be doing the same for you", but obviously they won't.

How true. The mothers are always expecting you to buy this useless, overpriced crap that they are selling (which the kids should be selling themselves) as well as all the presents as mentioned above. No, the single or childfree will never get it back. One learns to be selective about who, what and when regarding buying or gifting.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

i do have children, and i would want christmas off. i realize that there will be many holidays that i will have to work.

as for being with your parents on christmas, it's not the same. if i didn't have children, having christmas late or early wouldn't be as big of deal.

however, the little children will be so upset without their moms or dads present to share the joy of christmas morning. just think how you would feel if your mom or dad wasn't at home on christmas day when you were little.

.

if you absolutely have to have christmas off to be with your kids, please don't work in a 24/7/365 unit. work in a doctor's office or clinic, occupational health or school nursing. i'm happy to do my share of holidays, but i don't want to do your share, too. and no one else should have to. having christmas a day early or two days late shouldn't be a big deal for anyone, you included. but if it is, don't take the job where you're expected to work your share of holidays and then complain about it.

as for the little kid whose mommy and daddy aren't there to open presents and experience the joy of christmas morning; christmas is about far more than a date on the calender, and maybe if you were taught that when you were little, you'd get it now. your christmas morning can be just as joyful on december 28!

[mstigerlily]

Couldn't it be that anyone with kids 10 yrs old and under at least should have xmas morning off? My kids are 20 and 23 yrs old but still want mommy there on xmas morning with presents from santa!!!Biggest day of year for kids moms should be there!!!

That is ridiculous. I have three children, 13, 5 & 18 months and have scheduled myself to work Wed/Thurs (Thanksgiving Eve/Night) - who cares - Thanksgiving can be done just as well on Friday night - everyone is off anyway. AND I get the holiday pay.

I've asked to take some vacation days before Xmas and to have Xmas Eve off (I work nights) but will work Christmas night (the 25th) and also NY's Eve and NY's Day (I hate NY's Eve anyway and never go out. SO yes, I am hoping to get Xmas eve off for that reason but I knew when I decided to work in as a nurse in a hospital setting that everyone must take their turn and work holidays, nights, weekends. Everyone has some sort of family and friends to spend holidays with, even if they don't have kids they still have spouses, parents, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, nieces, good friends. Mothers shouldn't get any preferential treatment.

Melissa

[Mulan]

As for the selling, I hate fundraisers! However, the children are not allowed to go door to door anymore. That is the reason the parents take the brochures to work.

Parents have been bringing those brochures to work for the last 34 years at least.

[mstigerlily]

What a great attitude! It's a lovely gift to spend a holiday with the residents or patients - after all, I'm sure they'd rather be home too, just like you!

Holidays don't HAVE to be celebrated on the day of. Just think, if you celebrate Christmas Dec 27th, you can do your "last minute shopping" on the 26th thus taking advantage of those rock-bottom post holiday sales!

Melissa

While I'm a CNA and not a nurse yet, I'm actually looking forward to working Christmas Day. I have to work the night before AND the day of Christmas. But I work 3-11, so I will be able to spend the morning with them watching them open presents. That's the most exciting part for me. I'll also be able to have lunch at my parents like we normally do.

But I'm also excited about spending the day with my residents! I get to be with them on such a special day and will hopefully meet many of their family members. I just think that Christmas will be special this year and that I'll truly be giving and receiving a wonderful gift!

[imenid37]

To the OP. I didn't read everyone's response. I'd just tell the co-worker. "I just told you why I need Christmas off (you explained your family situation) and it happens to be my turn to have it off this year. I am sorry you feel the way you do, but I can't switch w/ you." After the persion asked you to switch and you declined, that should be it. You are not responsible to ensure that person's Christmas schedule suits her kids. If you are like most of us, you have worked many Christmases and this person has to work this out in her own life too, not try to intimidate others. I have three kids. Christmas is special, but it is just one day. You will "miss out" to some extent when you have kids and have a work obligation on Christmas, but if your child was in need of care on this special day, you'd want someone to be there too. That's just the way it is. I have worked my share of Christmases over the years. I have three teenage daughters. That is just a consequence of your choice to be a nurse on the type of unit you work on. I think Marie's co-worker was WAY OUT OF LINE. If she sulks about this, it is her problem, not yours. I hope you have a nice Christmas w/ your family Marie.

[wenbonmac]

I work in a clinic and closed on weekends...don't have to deal with that junk anymore!

[Fun2, BSN, RN]

Parents have been bringing those brochures to work for the last 34 years at least.

Very true, but I do know that when I was little, we were told to go door to door. Now the schools & brochure rules tell the children NOT to go door to door. It's too dangerous.

Again, I will state what I stated earlier, I HATE FUNDRAISERS! Most of the time we sell only to relatives (grandmothers). We do not usually bother the aunts/uncles/friends who have children because we know they will have fundraisers of their own to worry about.

To me they are a pain in the orifice!

To the other poster that replied to MY comment: Just because you choose Nursing as a line of work doesn't mean your desire to be home on Christmas has to change. The fact that you may have to work is always there, but your desires don't have to change.

I realize I will miss many holidays, including Christmas, but my wish to be home will always be there. 'nuff said. I plan on using my video camera just like I do now. Christmas morning will always be Christmas morning, whether I'm able to be a part of it or not. "Santa" will come, and my children will open their presents. As for opening up all the presents from mom and dad, that can happen on a day/night that I am home.

My comment to the OP stays the same. I think that if Maria_LPN wanted Christmas off, she deserved it as much as the next. The coworker was rude. However, I do also understand the coworker's thoughts behind her statement, even though she should have been nicer in the way she asked. (even if the answer was still no.)

[ZASHAGALKA, RN]

Wow, fatest I've seen a thread hit 100 posts - less than 2 days.

Must be a hot topic.

Working nights, I always thought it was a no-brainer to work Xmas Day and ask off for Xmas Eve - I mean, at 7pm Xmas night, Xmas is basically over, right?

Apparently, nobody has ever caught on to that but me. In 13 yrs of nursing, I've only worked Xmas Eve once. Why? I'm always the first to volunteer for Xmas Day and so most of my supervisors gave me credit for helping to 'solve' the holiday schedule problem and never put on that extra ooomph that I also work Xmas Eve.

~faith,

Timothy.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Working nights, I always thought it was a no-brainer to work Xmas Day and ask off for Xmas Eve - I mean, at 7pm Xmas night, Xmas is basically over, right?

~faith,

Timothy.

We were on to that here. We'd have ten people volunteer to work Xmas Day (night) and no one for Xmas Eve. :)

[MamaTheNurse, BSN, RN]

We were on to that here. We'd have ten people volunteer to work Xmas Day (night) and no one for Xmas Eve. :)

I didn't mind working Christmas Eve (night) - I was home in the morning for presents and went right to bed so I got out of cooking Christmas dinner!!