"What do you need Christmas off for? You don't have kids!" (rant) - page 8
It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i... Read More
Oct 8, '05Quote from MulanVery true, but I do know that when I was little, we were told to go door to door. Now the schools & brochure rules tell the children NOT to go door to door. It's too dangerous.Parents have been bringing those brochures to work for the last 34 years at least.
Again, I will state what I stated earlier, I HATE FUNDRAISERS! Most of the time we sell only to relatives (grandmothers). We do not usually bother the aunts/uncles/friends who have children because we know they will have fundraisers of their own to worry about.
To me they are a pain in the ARSE!
To the other poster that replied to MY comment: Just because you choose Nursing as a line of work doesn't mean your desire to be home on Christmas has to change. The fact that you may have to work is always there, but your desires don't have to change.
I realize I will miss many holidays, including Christmas, but my wish to be home will always be there. 'nuff said. I plan on using my video camera just like I do now. Christmas morning will always be Christmas morning, whether I'm able to be a part of it or not. "Santa" will come, and my children will open their presents. As for opening up all the presents from mom and dad, that can happen on a day/night that I am home.
My comment to the OP stays the same. I think that if Maria_LPN wanted Christmas off, she deserved it as much as the next. The coworker was rude. However, I do also understand the coworker's thoughts behind her statement, even though she should have been nicer in the way she asked. (even if the answer was still no.)
Oct 8, '05Wow, fatest I've seen a thread hit 100 posts - less than 2 days.
Must be a hot topic.
Working nights, I always thought it was a no-brainer to work Xmas Day and ask off for Xmas Eve - I mean, at 7pm Xmas night, Xmas is basically over, right?
Apparently, nobody has ever caught on to that but me. In 13 yrs of nursing, I've only worked Xmas Eve once. Why? I'm always the first to volunteer for Xmas Day and so most of my supervisors gave me credit for helping to 'solve' the holiday schedule problem and never put on that extra ooomph that I also work Xmas Eve.
Oct 8, '05Quote from ZASHAGALKAWe were on to that here. We'd have ten people volunteer to work Xmas Day (night) and no one for Xmas Eve.Working nights, I always thought it was a no-brainer to work Xmas Day and ask off for Xmas Eve - I mean, at 7pm Xmas night, Xmas is basically over, right?
Oct 8, '05Quote from TweetyI didn't mind working Christmas Eve (night) - I was home in the morning for presents and went right to bed so I got out of cooking Christmas dinner!!We were on to that here. We'd have ten people volunteer to work Xmas Day (night) and no one for Xmas Eve.
Oct 8, '05it was the night before christmas, 1971. i was 16 and i had mono -- my folks hadn't noticed i was sick yet. (i was still going to school because in a wisconsin winter, you didn't want to stay home sick and alone when the house was heated by wood!) at the dinner table, my folks finally noticed i was sick when i couldn't swallow any of my christmas eve dinner. in fact, i could barely swallow at all! we made a fast trip to er that snowy night, and i ended up spending two weeks in the hospital -- my entire christmas vacation! i will never forget waking up in the hospital on christmas morning, and apologizing to the nurse for spoiling her christmas with her family. "oh, no," she said. "you didn't spoil my christmas -- you made it."
it took me years to understand what she meant. when you're spending christmas at the hospital, away from your family, it's nice to have a patient who appreciates your sacrifice rather than bemoaning their own spoiled holiday. and when you're a patient on christmas morning, it's nice to have a nurse who doesn't begrudge you her time away from her own family.
i had a prefectly lovely christmas that year -- right around mlk day (which, of course, didn't exist in 1971). and my nurse described the lovely holiday she spent with her own family on december 27. that was the year i learned that christmas is about much more than a date on a calender -- and santa can find you whereever (and whenever) you celebrate -- as long as you have the right attitude.Last edit by Ruby Vee on Oct 8, '05 : Reason: left out a few key words
Oct 8, '05Quote from MamaTheNurseI'd rather work Christmas Eve.....leave all the last minute wrapping & putting out Santa stuff for my dh to do.I didn't mind working Christmas Eve (night) - I was home in the morning for presents and went right to bed so I got out of cooking Christmas dinner!!
Oct 8, '05Quote from MamaTheNurseSneaky sneaky!!I didn't mind working Christmas Eve (night) - I was home in the morning for presents and went right to bed so I got out of cooking Christmas dinner!!
Sounds like a pretty good plan!........."Just wake me up when dinner's ready"!!
Oct 8, '05Quote from imenid37I don't think you should have to justify to anyone why you are unable / unwilling or whatever to trade shifts with someone. Once the scedule is out, it is out...if you don't like the shifts you are scheduled for then you need to either cowboy up and get over it, change your plans for that day, or find a job that fully accomodates your schedule.To the OP. I didn't read everyone's response. I'd just tell the co-worker. "I just told you why I need Christmas off (you explained your family situation) and it happens to be my turn to have it off this year. I am sorry you feel the way you do, but I can't switch w/ you." After the persion asked you to switch and you declined, that should be it. You are not responsible to ensure that person's Christmas schedule suits her kids. If you are like most of us, you have worked many Christmases and this person has to work this out in her own life too, not try to intimidate others. I have three kids. Christmas is special, but it is just one day. You will "miss out" to some extent when you have kids and have a work obligation on Christmas, but if your child was in need of care on this special day, you'd want someone to be there too. That's just the way it is. I have worked my share of Christmases over the years. I have three teenage daughters. That is just a consequence of your choice to be a nurse on the type of unit you work on. I think Marie's co-worker was WAY OUT OF LINE. If she sulks about this, it is her problem, not yours. I hope you have a nice Christmas w/ your family Marie.
It's been said a million times before, but no one in their right minds should have gone to nursing school thinking they would have holidays and weekends off. Unless you work in a clinic, school, or something similar, nursing is a 24/7 deal...get over it.
Oct 8, '05ITA cotjocky. I also think though it doesn't hurt a self-absorbed person to be reminded that a holiday or an event, etc. doesn't totally revolve around them or their loved ones. Marie wants to be w/ family for her own reasons, just like others who I hope also tell this co-worker of hers no too. This person should think #1 before they ask if they are being unreasonable in even asking and #2 be gracious if they decide it's okay to ask, but the answer is no. I don't think Marie has any problem saying no to someone like this, but a twentysomething new grad (been there) may feel intimidated by this person, even though he/she too is entitled to a holiday off if it's their turn to be off. Truthfully, the selfish people who have these expectations of others don't deserve an answer I know, but we usually feel like we have to give them one. I have a co-worker who "loves the Lord" (evidently more than anyone else she thinks) and really wants every Sunday off (she wants every Christmas off too) and likes to assume that the rest of us who do not have identical beliefs should accomodate her whenever possible. Actually, my answer to this person for any schedule change is an automatic NO. I feel she manipulates the schedule enough already by aleays asking off on Sundays first if we have a low census.Last edit by imenid37 on Oct 8, '05
Oct 8, '05I loved it that you made a comment to her that told her what you thought of her remark, but have you ever thought of asking her a question or making a comment that addresses the unspoken and challenges her to explain her position? Perhaps one of the following.....
I take it from your question that wasn't really a question that you think that i don't need holidays off because i don't have children. Does that about sum up your thinking on that?
So do you think the decision to have children and be a nurse is not working out for you? How unfortunate for you.
Tell me exactly why you deserve holiday time off more than i do.
Is procreation a pre-requisite to having the right to take a holiday off?
If having children actually were to give you more rights in the workplace than i have, then i would be really concerned, but i think this is your particular bias that's in play here. You might want to do some self examination here dear. (Be sure to sneer on the dear part.)
Quote from Marie_LPNIt's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.
Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire
It's a wonder my head didn't explode. First off it wasn't her dang business what i wanted Christmas off for anyway, secondly how dare she make such a comment, as if those days won't mean squat to me all because i don't have children.
I'm sure her kids are important to her, i'm sure she would like to be there on those days, but the fact that i do not have children doesn't mean that things in my life are no less important. Nor should it mean that i should want to rearrange my life to accomodate someone that does. Which i've had to do a few times as a result of her taking 3 days weekends since august (we do self-scheduling). As a result of her doing this, i get screwed out of 3 days weekends 90% of the time. Her excuse for needing 3 days weekends? "Because i have kids." Not "My kid(s) has an appt., game, tournament, etc." "Because i have kids."
In no way am i knocking her because she has kids, or anyone, but it's almost like she expects accomodation from people because of the kids. It's not fair to everyone else. Everyone else manages and they have children. And everyone else at work wouldn't have made such a self-entitling statement about someone with no children having the holidays off, because most people take their turns every year. Just because i don't have children doesn not mean that i don't have a life or that i don't have things to do.
Oct 8, '05:wink2: Well, I may be in the minority here, but I don't have kids and would gladly work a holiday shift for someone who does..especially small children. I just know that Christmas morning does mean alot to little kids and in some way I do feel for the parents who have to work on holidays. I don't feel SORRY FOR THEM, but rather, can understand why they want it off so badly. However, it is when they act like it is an entitlement that it becomes annoying, as is what happened with Marie....
Oct 8, '05Quote from thrashejI don't think you're in the minority. Many posters have said they work the holidays for this reason.:wink2: Well, I may be in the minority here, but I don't have kids and would gladly work a holiday shift for someone who does..especially small children. I just know that Christmas morning does mean alot to little kids and in some way I do feel for the parents who have to work on holidays. I don't feel SORRY FOR THEM, but rather, can understand why they want it off so badly. However, it is when they act like it is an entitlement that it becomes annoying, as is what happened with Marie....
The rant was the EXPECTATION that you would do so.
There's a world of difference between volunteering to do something as opposed to being strongarmed into it.
Motive is everything.