New grads who are being bullied by experienced nurses

jenmccook · May 27, 2012

I hate to hear this. I have year left in school and I worry about this. I have heard from many nurses that I know that nurses eat their young! Good luck to you!

BBFRN, BSN, PhD · May 27, 2012

Just an idea: Do you think you could be asking for help more, when you need it? It's OK to need help when you're a new nurse. Granted, we can't tell the tone of voice they're using here, but this just sounds like they're trying to get you to quicken your pace a bit?

RURN2O11 · May 27, 2012

So sorry you're experiencing this. In my first year as a nurse I've been very blessed to work w/ some really wonderful nurses who have been so supportive & helpful & have really helped me to grow, expand my comfort zones, & become a confident new nurse. I wish everyone could have as great of a first nursing job as I've had.

Don't be afraid to ask for help though. I know during my first few months I sometimes was afraid to ask for help with basic stuff like time management b/c I was afraid I'd appear stupid but after a while I realized it was a necessary step for growth. No one made fun of me (thankfully); instead my colleagues helped me learn to prioritize & assisted me w/ tasks as needed. I'm sorry if the nurses on your unit aren't as helpful but try to find at least one or two you can "safely" ask for help & learn everything you can from them. I think every unit has a few nurses who can be insensitive especially to "newbies" but with time you will learn to ignore their unpleasantness & know it's not personal; it's just the way they are (unfortunately).

Aongroup1990, CNA · May 27, 2012

Ask for help, and try to be ahead of them . just because your young doesnt mean your inferior. speak up for yourself.

duckyluck111 · May 27, 2012

It's too bad that people feel the need to **** all over their territory like an animal. That is what is going on. You and I would never treat anybody like that and in the long run are going to be the better for it. People who act like that have some kind of personality disorder...you could probably go back to your psych textbook and figure out which one. Really, feel sorry for them because that kind of behavior is going to hold them back in their work and personal relationships.

Pulling somebody aside and very confidently, look them directly in the eye and let them know how much you value their experience but that you think their tone has been very disrespectful at times...especially make it clear that it's not okay in front of patients who might be worried about your competency to begin with. Remind them that that the sooner you get trained in the easier everybody's life is going to be, including theirs. Remind them that you are open to suggestions and constructive criticism. Also tell them that you believe in resolving conflicts directly with the people involved instead of going to management.

They might not take very kindly to being called out and launch a lot of accusations at you or they may apologize. Stand your ground...you're new, you want to do well, you want to be a valuable member of the team. Regardless, you've put them on notice...then if they do it again, you can give them a mean glare. Eventually they will realize that you aren't going to be bullied easily and stop.

Some of these people may end up being your "friends" in the long run...give it time

emmasgrandma · May 27, 2012

I am going thru this very same situation, right now.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · May 27, 2012

first of all....welcome to an! the largest online nursing community.

i am sorry you are experiencing this. some people just aren't nice and they are everywhere. this doesn't sound like a nurturing environment. some people are uncomfortable trying to teach other people for they themselves are not secure in their knowledge and abilities. and some people feel hazing/bullying is their right. i think you can remind them politely that you are learning and while you may not be fast.......you are conscientious and give good care, which makes you safe.

don't let the naysayers get you down........never let them see you sweat. i would talk to your manager in a productive manner stating that you are frustrated by the openly expressed dissatisfaction of the fellow nurses and that you are feeling pretty beat up. does she have any suggestions as how to best handle this.

in a hundred years this isn't going to matter.......:hug: stand tall. all new grads need help with getting this down to a science.i have some great brain sheets.

good luck

brain sheets.......here are a few.

mtpmedsurg.doc 1 patient float.doc‎

5 pt. shift.doc‎

finalgraduateshiftreport.doc‎

horshiftsheet.doc‎

report sheet.doc‎

day sheet 2 doc.doc

‎critical thinking flow sheet for nursing students

student clinical report sheet for one patient

i made some for nursing students and some other an members have made these for others.....adapt them way you want. i hope they help

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · May 27, 2012

They always make sarcastic comments and they really do bring me down. Saying things like, "You're too slow." Or things like, "Are you gonna give that med or what? Or you want me to do it?"

Instead of viewing these statements as sarcastic comments, try to view these comments as constructive criticism and instant feedback. Instead of feeling 'brought down' by the feedback, use it to feel empowered and make positive changes in the way you work. After all, nobody is doing you a favor if they're only being nice and telling you only the things that you want to hear.

Nobody can bring you down without your mental permission. Nobody can make you feel bad. People say and do things that are less than kosher, and you can choose how to react. Unfortunately, you're choosing to react by feeling 'brought down.' Power perceived is power achieved.

Listen to the negative feedback and learn from it. "You're too slow." "Are you gonna give that med or what?" Read between the lines. They want you to pick up the pace and move a little faster. Not all negative feedback is bullying. Live and learn, and good luck to you!

Merlyn · May 27, 2012

How do you deal with it? I feel like since I'm a new grad, I'm supposed to be nice to everyone! I hate being the new kid on the block =( I feel like I am not on their level yet, and I know that I'm not, but do they have to make me feel so stupid and inadequate all the time? They always make sarcastic comments and they really do bring me down. Saying things like, "You're too slow." Or things like, "Are you gonna give that med or what? Or you want me to do it?" I have met some amazing nurses but I just don't know what to do with these experienced nurses who are always on my back! =(

Tell them to get off your back, remind them that they were once new. You are doing the best you can. You are a nurse now, not a student and not a doormat. The only ones that you have to please are the patients and head...I'm sorry your Unit Manager. You can't be Sweet Dolly Dimple to some people some time you have to be as Shakespeare put it,"...Aite hot from Hell.."

allnurses Guide · May 27, 2012

I can visualize a situation where saying "you're too slow" isn't eating your young. I was probably told that more than once when I was new on a job. If they are asking "do you want me to give it?(the late med)" I can imagine as not what someone who wants you to fail would say. I do understand tone of voice and expression can make a difference in some cases though.

shoegalRN, RN · May 27, 2012

I've been a nurse for 3 years and work in the ED. Everyday I go to work, I ask for help and I also offer help as well. It's called being a team player.

It is not uncommon for the nurses who are working an area to look at the patients assigned to that area and their orders and asked "have you collected the urine on room 4", or "did you start the IV on room 6". In turn, I do the same. Maybe it's different in the ER, but you need to know what's going on with all the patients in your assigned area, regardless if they are your patients are not. You never know when your pod mate will have to drop everything and go to a trauma.

Instead of being "brought down", ask for some suggestions on how to improve time management, if that's the issue. Also, I remember being a new grad and feeling very unsure about myself as a nurse as well as not feeling confident. I took some very good advice very personal and got offended easily. Looking back, I am thankful for the advice because it helped me become a better nurse.