Feeling depressed with new job as a nurse...

Nurses New Nurse

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I graduated nursing school with my BSN in August of last year, 2011. I applied for many jobs but only got calls from a hospital that is an hour away from where I currently live. I decided to take the job on a surgical oncology PCU floor at this hospital located one hour from my house. I had to sign a contract, because they put me through a GN program for 12 weeks. It's a $13,500 contract. I cannot move closer to the hospital, because my husband and I bought a house where we enjoy living and he also has a business that is located here, so one of us would have to drive anyways.

I just got out of the GN program about 2 weeks ago, so I have been on my own for 2 weeks now. Most nurses on my floor are great, but for some reason, I dread going to work and feel depressed. It scares me that these people's lives are in my hands. Even on my days off, I feel so drained from working and so exhausted that all I do is sleep in, watch TV and lay around the house. I thought that working 3 days a week and having 4 days off would give me time to do a lot of things, but I'm just not being productive at all. I'm not quite sure how to explain exactly how I'm feeling, and I don't know if this is a normal feeling for new nurses? Maybe it's because I jumped from nursing school to working on a critical care unit? I just did not want to be a medsurg nurse for the rest of my life. With the contract, I can move to different floors, but cannot leave the hospital unless I want to pay the $13,500. The driving is also affecting me I think. I have to leave my house at 0515 and don't get home until between 2030-2100.

Any advice from experienced nurses? Is this normal to feel this way as a brand new nurse? I thought after nursing school life would be grand...but I'm just not feeling right. =/

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I would give it some more time. Starting as a new grad is scary, and I'm sure its even more scary starting in critical care. Maybe you can try to focus on the positive things. Like on your drive home try and think of 3 good things that happened that day and see if it slowly improves your mood. On your days off realize there is nothing you can do about work and just try and have fun.

However, if this feeling continues, I encourage you to find another position. No job is worth being depressed everyday.

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Thank you for your advice!

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Specializes in psych, addictions, hospice, education.

Give yourself some time. It takes awhile to feel more comfortable. Also, your contract isn't forever. While you're waiting for it to end, look around and see what's out there. Maybe you'll find something closer to home...

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Maybe you need to force yourself out of bed that very next day. I have read so many posts written by those who have sought professional advice. Plan a lunch date, plan to have to get out of the house to do "something". Make sure it's a commitment you really cannot break. Seems best to break the rebound anxiety you get thinking about work. Once that gets ingrained you become depressed, and it's additional stress. If you have worries about what you did/did not do at work, then as soon as you start to ruminate, get some paper and sit down and write your way out of it. What is the concern? What was my intervention? Then look at it and say, I did all that. It's a good job. Put the paper in a drawer and get up and go somewhere or do something, even if it's something silly like looking up recipes to try, or things you might want to grow in your yard come this Spring. Something you can research, then go find/buy the stuff, then go do. If you get the feeling to ruminate about work again, say to yourself, "I already did that, and it's in the drawer, I don't need to do it again."

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Specializes in Emergency, Trauma, Critical Care.

It took me 6 months to stop crying every day when I left my first job. Then it got better, it wasn't horrible, but it wasn't my favorite thing either. I think it takes 6 months to get the hang of any job. Just give yourself time!

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

I think it's a sad state of affairs when nurses are forced to sign contracts like this. It makes them indebted to the hospital for years. Perhaps it's the result of new nurses jumping ship after getting training in specialty areas. IDK, I'm just sorry to see this happening.

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Try finding a different area in thesame Hosp that you think you might like. Also, you do not have to work 3 consecutive days in a row, vary your schedule and find something else to do on your day off. I hope you have flexible scheduling. Be thankful for the job you have as the economy is not that great yet. One hour drive is not really that bad (at least for me)- it will get better soon. Good luck

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Being a new Nurse is very overwhelming- it took me over a year to feel more comfortable at my job. That is the thing with Nursing- you just have to keep showing up and going through the motions. The drive would be hard but you have an awesome opportunity in front of you. I would love to have that experience but when you are the one in it it's hard to see the blessing... I have been told that my job is a great opportunity as well and I think to myself, 'Really?' Hang in there- and this place is a great support group!

'

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NetGlow: That is a good idea...force myself to get out and do things and that will probably keep my mind off of it. I start thinking about having to go back to work like a day before I even have to, so it's a never ending cycle. I really do appreciate the support and advice!

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Thanks everyone! The support and advice is uplifting!

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I think you need to give yourself a break!! School is exhausting and you get so used to

being crazy busy and having something to study in all of your spare time that when you get out, it is such a let-down. You almost don't even know what to do with yourself even though you couldn't wait to get finished. A lot of people are a little depressed right after school just from the drastic changes. Not only that but nursing is not easy even in the easiest of areas and you are in a critical care area with oncology patients. That really weighs on your emotions whether you realize that or not. If that is just not a good area for you, ask to transfer. It is very stressful when you are first on your own after an orientation anyway. Do the best you can do at work and then try to leave it there when you walk out of the door. Tell yourself, "I have done my best" and go on.

I know that it is not fun to be away from your family but you might check into the hotels around the vicinity and see if they have really good rates for nurses that commute a long distance. If the hospital is in a small town that may not work though. When I lived in Nashville, there was a hotel that only charged nurses $15/night if they could provide a copy of their work schedule and how many miles they lived from the hospital. When you think about it, how much time do you really get to spend with your husband the nights you have to go right back to work the next morning? You would save gas $ to pay for the room and get plenty of rest and be less stressed from the drive. Then when you do get home, you can actually have fun! Since you don't have the option to quit right now, you have to look at what you can do. If you keep driving, you might see about some motivational CD's to listen to on the drive. I have not ever done it but always thought that might help sometimes. Hang in there and take it one day at a time!!! Good luck!!

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