You've got a what up/in your what???

[hoolahan]

OK, Mario's thread about cheese, and Zhakrin's coke bottle post made me think up this one for fun. We've all had them, or heard about them. What is the most interesting thing you have had a person insert into an orifice, on pupose (forget the moldy baloney sandwiches between fat folds.)

I would imagine ER and OR/PACU nurses deal with this the most. My ER nurse friend told me this one. On survelience camera, they saw a woman come in with a large blanket wrapped wrapped around herself. They were naturally curious, when they got her inside, she opened the blanket to show her nipple caught between her boyfriend's teeth!

One anesthesilogist said on his ER rotation in med school, they had a guy come in with the John Travolta spandex flare pants. They were so tight, they could not get them off, and he had arrested. They cut off the pants and found a huge salami taped to his leg.

My only personal PACU story is having to go in on call for a guy who got hamburger tongs stuck up his butt. Another PACU nurse said he favorite was a jean nate bottle.

So, share your story....

[Leann Tucker]

I am a School Nurse. I had a 6yr boy come in complaining about the "sticker"in his ear. I thought he was describing the pain sensation. When I looked in his ear with my otoscope, sure enough it was a sticker that his teacher had given him.

[TMPaul]

Was working ER one day when a young woman came in with a nail polish bottle stuck in her lady parts. I sent the new ER doc (young and single) in to evaluate and it turns out the woman was his date for that evening.

[Teshiee]

Darn! And I thought it was a one way street!

[kids]

Originally posted by OBNURSEHEATHER

We'll have to chat sometime. See if maybe one of us has some freaky sick sites that the other one doesn't

Heather

I have a site that is to gross to list here...would likely get the thread pulled...PM me if you want it:eek:

[Brownms46]

Originally posted by azgirl

A man came into triage and announced that he had bowel obstuction and wasn't going to say another word. Everyone waited anxiously for the xrays and were shocked to find an old spice jar.

Another man had a baseball stuck in his rectum.

A man came in who said his wife stuck a 10 inch dildo up his rear and when they gave him a sedative so they could remove it he said "Jeffrey, stop you are hurting me".

:roll :roll :roll :roll :roll :roll:roll

[Brownms46]

Originally posted by TMPaul

Was working ER one day when a young woman came in with a nail polish bottle stuck in her lady parts. I sent the new ER doc (young and single) in to evaluate and it turns out the woman was his date for that evening.

You're kidding right??

:roll :roll :roll

[babynurselsa, RN]

We had the young man who checked in with the K-Y bottle up his rectum.....

Chart topper for me so far was the older gentleman who came in with the jigsaw blade inserted into his urethra. How ould you like to have loaned tools to this fella.....

[Brownms46]

Originally posted by babynurselsa

[b How ould you like to have loaned tools to this fella..... [/b]

:roll :roll :roll

[Zhakrin]

When I was a medic the Rn I loved to flirt with:D told me about a middle aged gentleman that was enjoying a mild night at home in his hot tub will a couple bottles of vintage wine (very nice stuff I hear) when he appearent became lodged in the suction intake port of the tub. Not sure if his Peter was caught in the machinery or it was a suction issue, however the medic crew was not able to get him unstuck so there called the FD who also could do little. So they called the condo's maintenance supervisior who came in and removed the unit. This pt was wheeled into the ER with the unit still attached but.....hehe....discretely covered my a thin sheet.

To address the Darker side of this wonderful thread, I have had several genital mutilation calls as a medic and would like to share one

WARNING GRAPHIC - CAUTION WIL ROBiNSON CAUTION

23 y/o female admitted following an episode of choking, c/o painful rectum.

Our sexual dyamo was engaged in a threesome will 2 other male friends. She.....ah......was in the middle preforming oral on one and ......:imbar recieving from another. The idolt at the rear decided to change the nature of his preformance mid stride without mentioning anything to the female. Pain was a 15/10 and caused her to BITE down hard.

Yep choking on a foreign object and everything. The uninjured third party would be on my hit list for sure, LOL OUCH!!!

[kids]

Originally posted by Zhakrin

23 y/o female admitted following an episode of choking, c/o painful rectum.

:stone :roll :stone :roll :roll :roll :roll

I missed your coke bottle post (that with Mario's chin cheese) got Hooli to start this thread...

Please tell me the coke bottle one...pretty please.

[pebbles, BSN, RN]

Well, this guy had borderline personality and Munchausen's, he *wanted* surgery, and was going to do whatever it took.

Wire coat hangers down his throat, in his colostomy, and up his member. Pierced bowel and bladder, airway and esophagus were ok. Ouch!

I also heard one from a co-worker about a vibrator lodged in rectum that was still ON and had caused an ulcertation and then a tear, just from the vibrations....

[Tim-GNP]

My favorite was the one evening when a nurses aide came up to me to tell me that she lost the thermometer cover in someones rectum. Fortunately, our medical director was in the facility at the time signing charts. He was there when the announcement was made and stated that he had to see that patient, anyway, and would retrieve the probe cover [our facility policy at the time prohibited RN's from doing rectal examinations]. He returned to the nurses station about 5 minutes later and told me that he retrieved the probe cover. However, it wasn't in the patient's rectum. Did I mention that it was a female patient?