You've got a what up/in your what???

[hoolahan]

OK, Mario's thread about cheese, and Zhakrin's coke bottle post made me think up this one for fun. We've all had them, or heard about them. What is the most interesting thing you have had a person insert into an orifice, on pupose (forget the moldy baloney sandwiches between fat folds.)

I would imagine ER and OR/PACU nurses deal with this the most. My ER nurse friend told me this one. On survelience camera, they saw a woman come in with a large blanket wrapped wrapped around herself. They were naturally curious, when they got her inside, she opened the blanket to show her nipple caught between her boyfriend's teeth!

One anesthesilogist said on his ER rotation in med school, they had a guy come in with the John Travolta spandex flare pants. They were so tight, they could not get them off, and he had arrested. They cut off the pants and found a huge salami taped to his leg.

My only personal PACU story is having to go in on call for a guy who got hamburger tongs stuck up his butt. Another PACU nurse said he favorite was a jean nate bottle.

So, share your story....

[BigC]

ok.....steakandcheese....omg....

[Nurse Jenni]

80 yr old lady parts-pair of wadded up socks and half a box of kleenex WITH some of the box!

Who said LTC is boring?

[AIS52]

This post reminds me of the Seinfeld when Jerry had his license plates mixed up with those of a Proctologist's that read "A$$MAN."

When Jerry meets A$$MAN, he says every patient says the same thing "It was a million to one shot doc! A million to one!"

At the end of the show, we see George's father sit down onto his couch without looking- right onto a trophy. The final shot is Mr. Kastanza in A$$man's office saying "It was a million to one shot doc! A million to one!!!"

[jimminy]

propane torch in rectum!! No, it wasn't lit, but he did go to or.

[Momma_Penguin]

I am never going to be able to look at another jar of grape jelly ( hubby's fav) w/o thinking of that pic.....ewwwwwww. I am feeling left out-- no good stories of stuck stuff, well occasionally a resident consumes paper napkins.... but they digest. I must be happy to live thru your contributions. Laura LPN

[roden58]

seen a male friend with a wooden spoon stuck in his urethra, put it in....no come out...off to hospital...ooooooooooowwwwwww

[Gramma]

Here's a good one...working the ED and in comes a guy with an onion stuck up his butt. The ER doc tried getting it out with her fingers but all it would do was spin. Xray done and you could actually see the layers in the onion. (xr tech referred to him as "the salad shooter"). Anyhoo...goes to the OR for removal and the surgeon is unable to remove it intact (it was huge), so he picked it apart with forceps and soon, the entire OR was crying!!

The next nite I got to work and the OR crew left me a little package. It was a specimen container. Inside was an onion (a new one), a pack of surgilube, a pair of gloves, and a note that said," Plant on the next full moon!!!!!" ROTFLMAO!!!

[judy ann]

Young couple got romantic, and had no condom. Since they wanted to be "safe" they decided to use plastic wrap. I don't know how the ER got them unstuck.

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

Howdy Yall

From deep in the heart of Texas

Or from the title of this thread, deep in the somewhere else

Ive worked Er for a long time,and cant even begin to list the different things that Ive seen people insert. I dont even blink an eye when they tell me anymore.

There was one guy who came in and told me at triage he had a giant Zucchini inserted rectally and it had slipped all the way in. It had and he had to go to OR to get it out. Then a few months later we had a guy come in by ambulance with rectal bleeding and hypotensive. He required the level one infuser he was so deep in shock, and bleeding so much, plus major transfusion and also a trip to the OR. Turned out a large glass bottle inserted rectally had broke, lacerating his colon,bladder,internal iliac vein and artery. He almost didnt make it. YES IT WAS THE SAME GUY.

Then there is always some guy who fell in the shower and landed on a screwdriver, which happened to just penetrate perfectly. Amazing how they always go in that way. How many people do you know with tools stored in their shower??????

Then there was a girl at a party, what a party I imagine. Who wagered she could swallow anything. Yes someone had a saber. she swallowed successfully, but lacerated her esophagus while pulling it out..

Then there was the one brought in by the fire department, a 16 y/o girl c/o genital pain. She was brought in covered up with a large sheet. A boy her age had gotten his braces, snagged on her labia. Her father was at th Er door waiting on the ambulance to arrive, HE WAS NOT AMUSED SHALL WE SAY.

Ive seen so many things over the years, this could go on for quite a while.

keep it in the short grass, yall

teeituptom

[suzannasue]

...a twentyish male with one of those antique,flat porcelin doorknobs lodged in his rectum...told us he was getting ready for bed, bent over and the door suddenlt slammed on him...to add insult to injury,he had to call his parents to help him, Dad had to "unscrew" the doorknob from door...he rode in the backset on his hands and knees to the ED...

have also seen onions,carrots,cucumbers, sweet potatoes lodged in lady partss...does this make them "vagitarians"???????????

Nothing shocks me anymore. Nothing.:roll

[pkmom]

are these people drinking contaminated water?

oh, good laughs you guys, keep them coming.

[ERDIVA2B]

I worked at Level Trauma center here in the heart of Ft. Lauderdale, lots interesting things pop in! Many c**k rings stuck on this guys member since it would not go down after bingeing on coke for 3 days! The best is yet the Goldfish stuck in this stripper chick's privates! She had the nerve to say she didn't remember it was still in there because she was coming so hard! Eeew! What? did the smell of dead fish clue her in?