Young Mom in Nursing School!/Help!

Icare4u2 · Sep 1, 2007

been there-and now, 25 years later, my eldest daughter writes in one of her last college classes about her heros: my mom-she taught me that it takes a lot of work and sacrifice-but you can be a great parent and still work and go to school. i have asked my kids many times if they felt cheated and they've said to me, in a word, no. yes, i felt guilty, yes, i looked like something the cat hocked up on the rug, yes, i was exhausted. yes, it was worth it!!! so here i am 25 years later-kids grown and gone-and they have told me how it was worth it-they have told me they feel they were better prepared for life because they knew things weren't a cake walk. you will be great!! your kids will thank you some day. they will know you did it so they could have a better life. it will be worth it!!

best of luck to you and feel free to send me a pm anythime!

kim

CT Pixie, BSN, RN · Sep 1, 2007

hi everyone! i feel so blessed to have found this site!

#1. how did any of you moms make it?
-did you stress out as much as i am?
-did you feel guilty for the time lost with your children?
-or does it seem worth it to have a career you can enjoy & provide for them with?:loveya:
#2. were you ever jealous of your "non-mom" friends who had the energy to go party (or take another 12hr nap) or whatever after class and you had to go home and study because your baby kept you up all night when you had planned on studying?
& #3 did you always look like this?! ---->>>:smilecoffeeilovecof :trout:
(or almost always?)
& what are your techniques for "re-motivating yourself?"

well let's see. yes i feel very guilty that i am not able to spend the time with my girls as i did prior to starting school in march 07. i work from home for the company i work for so i was always home. i was at my daughters beckon call (i have a sophomore in high school and a first grader). but when i feel guilty i take a look around, do my kids lack attention from myself or my husband..nope, do they seem unhappy..nope..what are they doing while i am studying..humm, the older one is rarely home between her "social life", school, and sports/activities and the little one has always been a daddy's girl, so she very much enjoys the "extra" daddy time. i try not to stress about the little things. ok so there is a sink full of dishes..yup and they will remain there until i get around to it. and yes i am a bit behind in housework, laundry etc..but i will get around to it, but it doesn't have to be right this very second like it use to be.

i am tired..down to the bone tired. 30 hrs a week of work, full time school, 2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats and a hubby is tough work but i plod through. and when i get a break, meaning i cannot study another second, my hubby encourages me to take a nap and i do. i swear by coffee. i think stopped sweating water and minerals and now sweat caffine and sugar :lol2:

i think the end result of all my sacrifices and my families sacrifies will pay out 10 fold in the end. once i graduate i will be afforded the time to be with them. i can pick and choose my hours, have more money coming in etc. and when mom is happy, the whole family is happy

in regards to the kids, we as moms really blow the time frame out of proportion. honestly, if your daughter, or mine needed us..we are always mothers first and my kids (and i assume your dtr) always comes first. my schooling is only 15 months full time (no vacations, no spring breaks etc) m-f for 6.5 hrs a day..every week..

since your daughter is so young, i doubt she'll look back years from now and say (much less remember) that you weren't with her all the time. hey, they do have dads too! most children don't have the same time spent with dad as they do mom. let dad grab some extra time with his daughter when he has the opportunity. it will only strenghten the father/daughter bond.

my remotivation..my daughters and my husband. i have asked them to sacrifice things, so failure is not an option on my part. they are doing their part by taking on "extra" responsibilites, i have to fullfill my end of it by getting through school and getting my license.

i wish you the best. not long from now you will look back and think..hey that wasn't that bad, my daughter is no worse for the wear. and you will be happy that you are in a profession that you've wanted to be in. chin up, you can and will do this..just like countless other women before us.

RNmom08 · Sep 1, 2007

hi everyone! i feel so blessed to have found this site!
i have been getting kind of down on myself lately because i'm young and i have an 11 month old son and i'm married and i'm trying to squish work and nursing school into all of this. i have always been more mature than any of my peers but i am depressed that i am going through school and working so much while my son is still so young. i have been trying to find a place to connect with other moms in nursing school & this website seems to be the greatest resource so far! i have been fortunate enough to connect with another young mom in my bio 090 class last summer who is 13 days older than i am and has a daughter 3 wks older than my son.
what i am getting at is...
#1. how did any of you moms make it?
-did you stress out as much as i am?
-did you feel guilty for the time lost with your children?
-or does it seem worth it to have a career you can enjoy & provide for them with?:loveya:
#2. were you ever jealous of your "non-mom" friends who had the energy to go party (or take another 12hr nap) or whatever after class and you had to go home and study because your baby kept you up all night when you had planned on studying?
& #3 did you always look like this?! ---->>>:smilecoffeeilovecof :trout:
(or almost always?)
& what are your techniques for "re-motivating yourself?"

first of all i would like you to know you are definitely not alone. there are others of us out there! we are just to busy to see each other because of our heads are in a book every chance we get as no one else is going to do our laundry, bathe the kids, make dinner, help with homework, not to mention the hubby wants "alone time", etc, etc. i feel your pain. i am 32 yrs old, married for 12 yrs, have 5 kids ages 10,9,6,5,and 3. my life is a crazy crazy life. now, to answer your questions...

#1: yes, i did/do stress out as much as you. every day there is a lot of stress. lately moreso as 3 of my 5 kids come home with homework which is a lot in 5th grade and 4th grade anymore. that is a hard time of day for me because i am helping them with their homework yet knowing that i have a ton of studying to do too.

i feel guilty all the time. i try my best to be the mom when they are around which shows itself in my schoolwork. i figure that i can survive with out an a whereas they cannot survive without a mom.

in the past i have known that in the end it will pay off, but only recently have i been able to put a how and the "is it really worth it" together. we have recently found out that we are going to take possession of an acreage on march 1st. (no pressure at all for me to pass nursing iv and my boards the first time- yeah right!)

#2: oh my gosh yes! i don't know so much about the jealous of other younger students because i was young once and i would never want to go back to that time period. i have grown and become a better person for the mistakes and fun that i had when i was younger and i wouldn't want to change that. but i am jealous that the younger ones have more study time - however i also know that not all of them utilize the study time they have because they do like to party. many a night i have only gotten a couple of hrs of sleep. people ask how i do it with 5 kids and school?? my answer is, "i don't have time to sleep!"

#3: yes i always look like that and worse most times.

#4: i didn't really get remotivated until nursing iv knowing that this is it! also, finding out before the sememster started that we were buying a place and i hold the power to either make our dreams come true or totally messing up and being a failure in my whole families eyes was quite the remotivator! did i mention i'm under no pressure??

feel free to pm me if you want. good luck and know that you are not alone!!!!:welcome:

SunRose7 · Sep 1, 2007

oh my god, thank you for replying.

i just feel so overwhelmed. :bugeyes:

it's a great re-motivator when you remind yourself that if you don't do well, you've basically wasted a lot of time away from your family, so you better pass!! i'm still doing my pre-reqs and then i have at least a year on the wait list and then another 2 years of actual nursing school itself. i am taking anatomy and phys right now so thats part of why i am stressing. i will also be starting a new job as a new cna next thursday at a really big hospital in town and thats adding to my stress/ excitement. i have been working as a cashier/ sales associate for almost 4 years now and having my son last october made me realize that i can't keep doing this. i didn't want to be 44 years old (i just turned 21) and still ringing people's groceries, cursing under my breath/ gritting my teeth:angryfire when somebody called me the b-word (or worse (and yes its happened)) for ringing their apples wrong or not bagging their groceries in plastic then paper and then plastic again for like 3 items. craziness. :uhoh3:

supermo · Sep 1, 2007

hi everyone! i feel so blessed to have found this site!
i have been getting kind of down on myself lately because i'm young and i have an 11 month old son and i'm married and i'm trying to squish work and nursing school into all of this. i have always been more mature than any of my peers but i am depressed that i am going through school and working so much while my son is still so young. i have been trying to find a place to connect with other moms in nursing school & this website seems to be the greatest resource so far! i have been fortunate enough to connect with another young mom in my bio 090 class last summer who is 13 days older than i am and has a daughter 3 wks older than my son.
what i am getting at is...
#1. how did any of you moms make it?
-did you stress out as much as i am?
-did you feel guilty for the time lost with your children?
-or does it seem worth it to have a career you can enjoy & provide for them with?:loveya:
#2. were you ever jealous of your "non-mom" friends who had the energy to go party (or take another 12hr nap) or whatever after class and you had to go home and study because your baby kept you up all night when you had planned on studying?
& #3 did you always look like this?! ---->>>:smilecoffeeilovecof :trout:
(or almost always?)
& what are your techniques for "re-motivating yourself?"

when i started my pre-reqs i was 29 with a 1 year old at home and 4 kids in school. i took as many classes as i could online so that i could work around baby time. it helped tremendously. if you are a self-motivated type of person, you may want to look into that.

now, 2.5 years later, (2 year degree my fanny!!) i am in semester 3 of my adn. then onto my rn-bsn, then onto my msn.....

has my family suffered? nah. we women have a tendency to produce guilt by the bucketful when it comes to our families. maybe it is a by-product of estrogen?? :idea:

do i look like crap? i hope not. but, i probably do.

do i study into the wee hours of the night so that we can have family dinners (some of the time)? yep. hamburger helper is a godsend. :lol2:

does it seem like there is no light at the end of this very dusty, pile o' dirty dishes, un-vacuumed floor, mountain o'laundry tunnel?! yep.

my kids have adapted, my very understanding but overworked hubby has adapted, i think i was the last to adjust to the mess.

the biggest thing is that you cannot be a superhero. you need sleep. you need to eat. you need to veg out on the couch every now and then and say "forget it".

you do not need a 4.0. you do not need a spotless house. you do not need to whip up a 4 star dinner every night.

your baby will not need therapy for your lack of constant attention. you are not doing this just for you, you are doing this for the benefit of your entire family.

good luck to you. :balloons:

Lisa CCU RN, RN · Sep 1, 2007

Young mom here. I have two children, 7 and 5.

#1. How did any of you moms make it? I made it because I have no other choice; I'm the only one who provides for my kids and me, so you do what you gotta do.

-Did you stress out as much as I am? No. I didn't really feel stressed about school. As I got closer to the end, I worried somewhat that something would go wrong, just because things had been going so smoothly!

-Did you feel guilty for the time lost with your children? No. I don't think I lost time. They went to school and I'd go to school. Then I 'd pick them up. At home, they'd do homework and so would I. On weekends, we'd go to a movie or I'd take them to the park and I'd sit in the car and study or they'd go swimming. They see me as a very good example of how to study hard and appreciate good grades. My daughter even knows the bones of the body! Beside, do men feel guilty when they go to work?

-Or does it seem worth it to have a career you can enjoy & provide for them with? Yes it seems worth it. this is 2007. You got to work and you need a career.

#2. Were you ever jealous of your "non-mom" friends who had the energy to go party (or take another 12hr nap) or whatever after class and you had to go home and study because your baby kept you up all night when you had planned on studying? Maybe a little, but you get used to your kids being around and even though they can drive you crazy, you miss them when they are gone.

& #3 Did you always look like this?! ---->>>

(or almost always?) Nah. I've found school to be prety easy compared to other things I've done.

& What are your techniques for "re-motivating yourself?" My student loan balance, food, clothes, shelter all keep me motivated.

Good luck.

Lisa CCU RN, RN · Sep 1, 2007

i didn't want to be 44 years old (i just turned 21) and still ringing people's groceries, cursing under my breath/ gritting my teeth:angryfire when somebody called me the b-word (or worse (and yes its happened)) for ringing their apples wrong or not bagging their groceries in plastic then paper and then plastic again for like 3 items. craziness.

they are still gonna do this (or worse) when you become a nurse. some people are just jerks.

this is why i don't understand why some nurses want to quit nursing just because of the "abuse". it happens in every job.

labcat01, BSN, RN · Sep 1, 2007

#1. How did any of you moms make it?

-Did you stress out as much as I am? :banghead:

Yes definitely, I am a real type A personality and I get stressed when things aren't perfect.

-Did you feel guilty for the time lost with your children? :scrying:

YES! last semester I cried every morning on the drive from daycare to school

-Or does it seem worth it to have a career you can enjoy & provide for them with?:loveya:

It will be worth it! Their lives will be better and my life will be better too!

#2. Were you ever jealous of your "non-mom" friends who had the energy to go party (or take another 12hr nap) or whatever after class and you had to go home and study because your baby kept you up all night when you had planned on studying? :devil:

At first I was very jealous...but i'm starting to realize that a lot of them "party" because their lives are so empty that all they can do is drink every night. Also, quite a few of them have reached out to me and offered to babysit or let me bring my kid over when we have to work on a group project.

#3 Did you always look like this?!

HAHA, I haven't showered in 3 days (don't tell anyone- it is gross)

What are your techniques for "re-motivating yourself?

I just keep reminding myself how much I love nursing and how I don't have much time left. My nursing program keeps me so busy that I don't have time to get unmotivated. Also, it seems like every nurse I've ever worked with went to nursing school while working full time at nights with 4 times as many kids as I have (and they walked to clinical uphill in the snow haha) so I don't get a lot of sympathy from them :)

YOU can make it! Just keep hanging in there and if you need a shoulder to cry on come post here :) There is always a sympathetic ear!

grace90, LPN, LVN · Sep 1, 2007

#1. How did any of you moms make it?

Did you stress out as much as I am?

-Did you feel guilty for the time lost with your children?

-Or does it seem worth it to have a career you can enjoy & provide for them with?

#2. Were you ever jealous of your "non-mom" friends who had the energy to go party (or take another 12hr nap) or whatever after class and you had to go home and study because your baby kept you up all night when you had planned on studying?

#3 Did you always look like this?!

My kids were 2.5, 1.5 and 2 mo when I went back to school and started taking pre-reqs. When I actually got in the program they were 3.5, 1.5 and 1 year. I did get pretty stressed out A LOT. :oI did feel pretty guilty about not being with my kids. Now it seems worth it, though, and I'm glad I did it.

Once in clinicals I had a surgical patient with a huge cardiac history and about 30 meds. The instructor wanted me to look up every med and record on the program's med sheets the reason she was on it, usual dosages, side effects, pertinent labs, etc., BY THE NEXT DAY, along with all my other paperwork. :uhoh21:

I was still working on it at around 1 am when my daughter woke up with bad croup. We were able to get her breathing ok with holding her in the bathroom while we ran the shower and the croup turned around. But the meds? Forget it.

When I saw my instructor the next morning, I told her I hadn't gotten to do the med sheets but that I got to listen to the lungs of a child with croup.

SunRose7 · May 17, 2009

well hello all!

its been almost 2 years since i posted this, sorry i'm diggin up old threads, but for poops and giggles i thought id give an update for anyone who replied or anyone else who cares for the matter! :yeah: i would like to hopefully inspire any young moms (or any parent reading this that is at the begining of the long road to "your name, rn"). well the semester i wrote that post i did have to drop all of my classes and i picked up a full time job working nights in the hospital.:wtosts: i was extremely in the dumps, i wasnt sure i was going to make it through my pre-reqs and was wondering if it was all worth doing over. well, i pulled myself up by what bootstraps i had left and i retook all dropped classes and passed them all the next semester (while working full time nights)! i figured if i could drag my a** through those horrid semesters i could do it a few more times and have my degree & my "dandyandi, rn" finally! well, heres the most fantastic update! i am starting the lpn program this august, all my pre-reqs are done for lpn an rn programs & i get to take the summer off and enjoy time with my son. also i will answer my own questions as i have found some fantastic ways to cope and grow from all the lovely stress delt out by school: :jester:

"""#1. how did any of you moms make it?

-did you stress out as much as i am?

-did you feel guilty for the time lost with your children?

-or does it seem worth it to have a career you can enjoy & provide for them with?

yes! i still stress like i did then!

yes! i still cry some days when i drop my son off at daycare, even if he doesn't care wether or not i'm there because that day the kids get to play with colored glue & glitter & stickers! (he's 2 1/2 now).

yes! it is worth it! because i still never want to have my only options be working retail for $8.35/hr or as a cna for $10/hr for the rest of my adult life. we want to buy a house and have some more babies sometime after i get my degree and without the degree, we're stuck living in a small apartment living paycheck to paycheck with no health insurance.

#2. were you ever jealous of your "non-mom" friends who had the energy to go party (or take another 12hr nap) or whatever after class and you had to go home and study because your baby kept you up all night when you had planned on studying?

yes! i still hate all the young kids who say "i slept for like 14 hours last night, hey you wanna go to water world this weekend?"

:angryfire i'm like, no... btw, i had a fantastic time studying for my apii, clinical calculation, medical terminology and human growth and devel finals with a child whos cutting his eye teeth (canines, you know, the pointy ones), which i would like to add is hell on earth for all parties involved:bugeyes:. but if youre a newbie reading this, you just deal with it somehow okay? dont ask me how it happens, there's just some drive deep inside us nurse people where you love your child so much and you wanna be a nurse so bad, pray your little heart out and god will allow what he sees fit to happen! just remember all the pieces will fall together in their own time.

& #3 did you always look like this?! ---->>>:smilecoffeeilovecof :trout:

(or almost always?)

yes i still look like that and worse most days. just don't sniff my armpits :barf01:as another poster stated, you dont always get a shower everday as you dream may happen.to that i would also add the following faces:

:banghead: :pumpiron: :rotfl: :sleep: :selfbonk::cheers: the ups and downs, im learning to love them all!

& what are your techniques for "re-motivating yourself?"

my latest and most fantasticly wonerful techniques for remotivation have been non- guilt related, such as:

-> looking up motivational nursing quotes (just google it), and then typing them out in microsoft word and adding nursey type clip art and posting them in front of my desk. my favorite comes from "how to survive and maybe even love nursing school" by kelli dunham (good book, look it up! you can buy it on amazon used for cheap!)... it goes "no stress busting techique will work if you don't bust your tail doing the work you need to be prepared for classes and clinical!"

->i also have the guiltful motivators that loom over my head :urgycld:as im sure everyone does, such as the debt accumulated from student loans, the time away from my son and husband, the thought that if i fail now it will all be a waste of 2 years in my life i'll never get back (and alot of hair that i've picked out of the shower drain i'm sure won't come back). not to mention the other factors that i mentioned above related to job opportunities (or lack thereof). just make sure that you take time for yourself, even if it means you have to put off homework or sleep for 30minutes to paint your tonails or take a bubble bath :tbsk:once a week or so. schedule these sweet little breaks in if you can, youll see the results two fold just for taking a lil time for yourself! yeah you missed 30minutes of sleep time, but the quality of your sleep will improve because youll be relaxed! :up:

so i'm done with my post, im not sure if this will ever help anybody or not, i sure hope so! love you all and i wish you well in your journeys. and thanks again to those who replied to me before, you really did help me keep going, because i did fell so alone!

:loveya:love & luck,

dandy andi !!!

muesli · May 17, 2009

Kudos to you for working to provide your family a better future. My husband just finished his second to last semester while working full time and taking care of our newborn baby while I worked. It was hard on him, but he made it through! There is a light at the end of all this. Like others said, you are doing your children such a huge favor by exemplifying hard work.