Stupidity is a lot like nuclear energy---it can be used for good or for evil, but either way, you don't want to get any on you.
This is never more true than when taking care of patients who have done incredibly idiotic things to themselves that require medical attention. I've had a few who make me feel as though my I.Q. drops 25 points every time I walk into their room.........as if their stupidity somehow rubs off on me and causes me to go through the rest of my day pulling boneheaded stunts, like writing half a page of nursing notes in the wrong patient's chart and going home with the narc keys.
If I nurse for another forty years, I'll never forget the young tough-guy wannabe who was admitted to our Med/Surg floor some years ago for repair of his left testicle, which had evidently been in the way when he decided to make like John Dillinger and shove his TEC-9 in the waistband of his Wranglers. Apparently no one had ever informed him that this practice is a little riskier than they make it look on TV, and he was incredulous at the idea of having shot off one of his "boys":
"I can't bleepin' believe I bleepin' shot my bleepin' BALL off," he murmured as the effects of the anesthesia wore off. We should've known that the next four days would be a challenge as he recovered from his surgery and began to deal with what he'd done..........but we didn't have time to ponder this, as he kept us running back and forth the entire time he was in the hospital.
He wanted pain medicine. He wanted his girlfriend. He wanted Pepsi. He wanted McDonalds. He wanted more Pepsi. He wanted a candy bar. Mostly, he wanted sympathy: "Ohhh, this hurts so bleepin' bad, ow, ow, yanno how it feels to get shot in the nuts, oh, no you don't, you're a girl, owwwwwwwww!!" He whined. He cried. He put on his call light every five minutes. He did everything but take responsibility for his own predicament. "If that cop hadn't driven by at that second, none of this would've happened, yanno," he said repeatedly.
Naturally, Ms. Big Mouth here can only put up with so much sheer stupidity, so I asked him if he'd ever thought that maybe he shouldn't have been messing with the gun in the first place. I grew up around firearms and know how to use them.....and never in a million years would I be foolish enough to shove a loaded pistol into my waistband.
"NO," he answered with some vehemence. "Guys like me, we always gotta protect ourselves, yanno?" Well, I didn't know, but this reply gave me an idea, which was pretty much confirmed when one of the other nurses found traces of marijuana in the bathroom after one of his frequent 'visitors' had been in to see him. Additionally, a search of his belongings by the security staff turned up several baggies filled with weed, a pipe, and a couple of old pill bottles with crystal meth inside.
Does it get any dumber than dealing drugs from your hospital room? Yes, if you happen to be a lanky, dishwater-blond twentysomething from Felony Flats, Oregon. One lovely autumn day several months after his discharge, the word came up to the floor that he was back in the ER, again a victim of a self-inflicted GSW..........only this time, he'd not only shot off his remaining testicle, but a good portion of his manhood as well!
This is one of those things that you can't believe unless you see it for yourself. And as terrible as it sounds, all I could think of was how fortunate it was for society that this character had rendered himself permanently incapable of producing offspring........you just can't fix that kind of stupid. Yanno?
That is a mishap that occurs quite often. Santonio Holmes, the former Pittsburgh Steeler player, did the same thing in a bar in NY. He is serving time for it. He actually said on tv, "the gun started to slip down my pants, who would have thought when I grabbed it I would hit the trigger". Sorry Santonio, it is not this 1 in a million thing, happens every day matter of fact. It is one of those real harsh IQ test that life hands out to people. Everyone can do something stupid once but the really stupid repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Hines Ward, who is one of the most intelligent players on the team, came very close to calling him a dumb *** during a TV interview no less. Of course Hines being a smart person put it in a way that did not get him in trouble but you got the gist of his meaning. PS I object to the prison sentence. Santonio is not a bad person, he did something dumb. If I were the judge I would suspend the sentence and tell him not to ever pick up a gun again. I think Santonio won't do it again, on TV even he seemed agast at his own stupidity.
That is a mishap that occurs quite often. Santonio Holmes, the former Pittsburgh Steeler player, did the same thing in a bar in NY. He is serving time for it. He actually said on tv, "the gun started to slip down my pants, who would have thought when I grabbed it I would hit the trigger.
Not to be picky but I think that was Plaxico Burress, hero of the NY Giants Super Bowl win over the Pats.
Specializes in CT Surgery; Transplants; VAD Specialist.
He does have a second one, right? Gotta luv nature.
Seriously, people are admitted for various reasons, stupid ones included. But even in light of such recognition, a nurses job is to care for the patient to the best of their profession without censor. Thus important to have outlets in one's personal life to vent such witness of carelessness in order to recharge fresh the next day. A tough deed at that.
Great post. Can't wait to see it all some day, first hand. :)
this whole conversation makes me think of thanksgiving dinner at our house 20 or so years ago. we had 27 guests, who were all family members. my cousin jim, who was a college sophomore then, apparently decided the striker on the box of fireplace matches was too worn down and struck the match on his metal fly. it caught and he started the fire. so far, so good... nope!
the little nephews who were six, seven, seven and nine kept trying to do what uncle jim had done. problem was that none of the smaller boys had his fly zipped all the way up, plus which, their aim was way way way off. my husband finally had to hide the matches. he hid them so well, i had to go buy new ones...
i dunno. a darwin nomination for my cousin jim and honorable mentions for the munchkins?
This harks of a reaction called inappropriate. Nurses frequently experience this as a way to let off steam. (I couldn't stop laughing when I wrapped my first dead person in his shroud, at the ineptness of my efforts.) If the guy and the gun hadn't been loaded, it wouldn't have happened - the first time. The attention he sought and got, may have made it happen again.......
Those of us who worked with patients like that, know how little self esteem they have. If he'd been more conscious, it could be said that he self mutilated, but the euphoria that drugs offer, dulled his intellect (=stupidity, which is different from low IQ).
That's why those with actual borderline or deficient intelligence, know enough to realize that others like to see them goof up. They'll laugh with others at the silly things that happen, but inside they shrivel (not their sex organ, although that's possible) with self loathing. The dude needed therapy. Did he get any?
nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN
1 Article; 2,043 Posts
But, look at it this way. Now he has more room for his TEC-9.
And he's sure to be a REAL crowd pleaser when he ends up in jail....:rotfl: