write-up for insubordination because I turned my back to cry...

[farmernurse26]

I need your help!!!! I am being written up for insubordination on my 6th day of employment because when my employer was criticizing me for my work and telling me how much stress and how many errors I had made for him I started crying and turned my back to him on instinct. You know from experience that I have a tendency to cry, and I meant no harm by turning my back, but he took it as an affront. I have not been trained to work there, they showed me the clinical side that you already trained me to do in school, showed me the computer system and told me I would need to learn it, then cut me loose and expected me to know how to use the system like a pro by myself on the 3rd day. I thought I was cruising along using the forms I had figured out on my own and nobody said anything about it until today, other than that I needed to speed up. The girl that was supposed to train me was leaving me to my own devices and showing me to use forms that are no longer valid in our system only when I begged her to show me how to use the system. I don't know what to do. I am swamped, way in over my head and now I am suspended in lieu of termination tomorrow and facing insubordination write-up when I return on monday. what can I do? I'm so scared. This could end my nursing career before it even begins. Please help

[tothepointeLVN, LVN]

Thats the spirit and then quit when they really really really need you

What kind of setting is it? Clinic?

[farmernurse26]

It's an MD's office setting.

[tothepointeLVN, LVN]

Well that tells me something. If he's hiring a new grad RN to work in his office he's either very difficult to work with and can't keep staff or is cheap and thinks he's getting a bargain by getting a RN for MA wages ( I don't know how much he is paying you but I'm guessing it's not top dollar) Neither of these things reflect badly on you just him.

When I worked at a county clinic some of the MD's would moan all day long about the fact that in their private office they had a MA that would put up with their "stuff" and at county they had to have a CNA/Nurse combo. They hated having to deal with 2 staff members and being accountable for their behavior. Of course nurse on nurse relational agression at that facility was through the roof.

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

ok, so, here's what happened yesterday/today. i went in to work mon as usual. the md accepted my apology for crying and turning my back on him, he said it was ok and not to do it again. we were slammed, as usual, and i did the best i could with what little i knew. they kept telling me i'm too slow i need to speed up, yadda yadda yadda. i'm like literally running from room to room to get the patients seen and to assist the md. he was cracking jokes to the patients about me as i entered the room, talking to them like "did you hear someone running down the hall? those loud footsteps, they were her" and laughing. i know i'm a bigger) girl, so i replied with a quip like "yeah i'm practicing my one hippopotamus stampede" or some such reply. that shut him up. hehe

at the end of the shift the rn shows up to help "train" me, and shows me the things i should've been shown on the first day. i'm like "this is so ******* simple but how was i supposed to know to do it this way if i've never used an emr before???" once she showed me the ropes i felt more confident and was supposed to come in today for more "training" but it turned into 3 hrs of me reading official office manuals on how to do things around the office while she did her own tasks and ignored me basically. where were these manuals when i was supposed to be shadowing on my first few days?!?! i really could have used these, they had so much information i was being called out for not knowing packed into them but they were previously unavailable to me. moral of the story: don't ever cry at work, keep your head up, and always ask for an idiot's guide to whatever job you get. lord, what a way to start a job! oh, and i am not quitting!!! i have a backbone and i am going to show these smug jerks that they aren't getting rid of me that easily! they wanna fire me, fine. they want me to quit? ha! fire me! i'm not a quitter and i will tough it out until they fire me. i am not weak! i just had a moment of weakness, and as a human, it happens. all i can do is move forward with my head held high and smile in their smug faces.

this was the md????:eek: i thought it was some jerk manager. you tell that so that the next time he's that aggressive you'll sue him for assault and if he bullies you again and demeans you in public you will sue him for discrimination and harassment. what a jerk!!! how dare he poke fun at his employee with a patient!! man i am really fuming!!! who the #!$& does he think he is???

you know what....start looking for another job. what a jerk...that is abusive and you are better than that, "don't do it again" my butt....how about the next time you harass and abuse me i'll be seeing you in court. what an egotistical, passive aggressive......"richard" (and we know i mean the nick name:smokin:).

just remember the bigger the ego the smaller the junk!!!!!!!!!!

god what a jerk!!!! i am really p.o'd. if i was your manager i would have that poor excuse of a professional on the carpet for treating someone like that....ooooooo i am so angry!!!!!:flmngmd: i am so sick of this superiority baloney with people feeling it's ok to put people down so they feel better:angthts: about themselves...enough!

you stand up for yourself......two of my favourite quotes

no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. eleanor roosevelt, 'this is my story,' 1937 you gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. you are able to say to yourself, 'i have lived through this horror. i can take the next thing that comes along.' you must do the thing you think you cannot do.

eleanor roosevelt:redbeathe:hug:

[mazy]

Oh those send me right off sobbing especially the one with Sarah McGlaughlin[/quote']

I have to change the channel/leave the room when those come on. Can't even listen to that song anymore, in any context.

[OCNRN63, RN]

Ok, so, here's what happened yesterday/today. I went in to work Mon as usual. The MD accepted my apology for crying and turning my back on him, he said it was ok and not to do it again. We were slammed, as usual, and I did the best I could with what little I knew. They kept telling me I'm too slow I need to speed up, yadda yadda yadda. I'm like literally running from room to room to get the patients seen and to assist the MD. He was cracking jokes to the patients about me as I entered the room, talking to them like "did you hear someone running down the hall? those loud footsteps, they were her" and laughing. I know I'm a big(ger) girl, so I replied with a quip like "yeah I'm practicing my one hippopotamus stampede" or some such reply. That shut him up. HEHE

At the end of the shift the RN shows up to help "train" me, and shows me the things I should've been shown on the first day. I'm like "this is so ******* simple but how was I supposed to know to do it this way if I've never used an EMR before???" Once she showed me the ropes I felt more confident and was supposed to come in today for more "training" but it turned into 3 hrs of me reading official office manuals on how to do things around the office while she did her own tasks and ignored me basically. Where were these manuals when I was supposed to be shadowing on my first few days?!?! I really could've used these, they had so much information I was being called out for not knowing packed into them but they were previously unavailable to me. Moral of the story: don't ever cry at work, keep your head up, and ALWAYS ask for an idiot's guide to whatever job you get. Lord, what a way to start a job! Oh, and I AM NOT QUITTING!!! I have a backbone and I am going to show these smug jerks that they aren't getting rid of me that easily! They wanna fire me, fine. They want me to quit? HA! Fire me! I'm not a quitter and I will tough it out until they fire me. I am NOT WEAK! I just had a moment of weakness, and as a human, it happens. All I can do is move forward with my head held high and smile in their smug faces.

That doctor is creating a hostile work environment. Making fun of you because of your size? And you're actually going to take this treatment lying down? If they do fire you, you should bring up the treatment you got there when you file for unemp. It might not be a bad idea to start keeping a diary of what's happening to you; note word for word when someone mocks you.

This really doesn't sound like the kind of place where you should be working.

[OCNRN63, RN]

this was the md????:eek: i thought it was some jerk manager. you tell that so that the next time he's that aggressive you'll sue him for assault and if he bullies you again and demeans you in public you will sue him for discrimination and harassment. what a jerk!!! how dare he poke fun at his employee with a patient!! man i am really fuming!!! who the #!$& does he think he is???

you know what....start looking for another job. what a jerk...that is abusive and you are better than that, "don't do it again" my butt....how about the next time you harass and abuse me i'll be seeing you in court. what an egotistical, passive aggressive......"richard" (and we know i mean the nick name:smokin:).

just remember the bigger the ego the smaller the junk!!!!!!!!!!

god what a jerk!!!! i am really p.o'd. if i was your manager i would have that poor excuse of a professional on the carpet for treating someone like that....ooooooo i am so angry!!!!!:flmngmd: i am so sick of this superiority baloney with people feeling it's ok to put people down so they feel better:angthts: about themselves...enough!

you stand up for yourself......two of my favourite quotes

no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. eleanor roosevelt, 'this is my story,' 1937 you gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. you are able to say to yourself, 'i have lived through this horror. i can take the next thing that comes along.' you must do the thing you think you cannot do.

eleanor roosevelt:redbeathe:hug:

what she said!

[xtxrn, ASN, RN]

It's an MD's office setting.

You are being treated like dung. The remarks about the heavy footsteps are discriminatory.

Leave. :hug:

Being human isn't a weakness- if you EVER lose that - become a spelunker.

[dream'n, BSN, RN]

Ok, so, here's what happened yesterday/today. I went in to work Mon as usual. The MD accepted my apology for crying and turning my back on him, he said it was ok and not to do it again. We were slammed, as usual, and I did the best I could with what little I knew. They kept telling me I'm too slow I need to speed up, yadda yadda yadda. I'm like literally running from room to room to get the patients seen and to assist the MD. He was cracking jokes to the patients about me as I entered the room, talking to them like "did you hear someone running down the hall? those loud footsteps, they were her" and laughing. I know I'm a big(ger) girl, so I replied with a quip like "yeah I'm practicing my one hippopotamus stampede" or some such reply. That shut him up. HEHE

At the end of the shift the RN shows up to help "train" me, and shows me the things I should've been shown on the first day. I'm like "this is so ******* simple but how was I supposed to know to do it this way if I've never used an EMR before???" Once she showed me the ropes I felt more confident and was supposed to come in today for more "training" but it turned into 3 hrs of me reading official office manuals on how to do things around the office while she did her own tasks and ignored me basically. Where were these manuals when I was supposed to be shadowing on my first few days?!?! I really could've used these, they had so much information I was being called out for not knowing packed into them but they were previously unavailable to me. Moral of the story: don't ever cry at work, keep your head up, and ALWAYS ask for an idiot's guide to whatever job you get. Lord, what a way to start a job! Oh, and I AM NOT QUITTING!!! I have a backbone and I am going to show these smug jerks that they aren't getting rid of me that easily! They wanna fire me, fine. They want me to quit? HA! Fire me! I'm not a quitter and I will tough it out until they fire me. I am NOT WEAK! I just had a moment of weakness, and as a human, it happens. All I can do is move forward with my head held high and smile in their smug faces.

O.k., I'm going to speak to you from my heart so hopefully my experience will give you something to think over. I have been like you in some ways. I worked in a horribly dysfunctional, toxic, hostile environment. I'm a strong person and put up with it for a long time. I'd think just like you; 'no one is running me out of my job, if I just keep working hard it'll blow over, I'm strong and they won't get me down-I know I'm doing my job well' etc, etc. I also felt that if I left I would be letting them win by giving them what they wanted; me outta there. Although the negative environment would sometimes stabilize, it would always return with a vengeance and worsened over time. I tried everything I could think of and tried so very hard to ease the hostility but it didn't help in the long run. Eventually, it wore me down. Abuse and hostility will eat away at the strongest and most confident person if given enough time. When I finally got to the point that I could not in any way, shape, or form go on in that work environment, I did quit. But afterwards with the time now available to really sit down and think, I found my stress levels in the stratosphere, my confidence in the dumps, and almost constant questions of "what did I do wrong, what is wrong with me that people would hate and abuse me so, am I really as awful as they thought?" I actually even left the nursing profession for awhile to heal myself. I guess what I'm trying to say is that leaving an abusive, hostile, or toxic work environment DOES NOT make a person a quitter; it actually can be the smartest thing to do for yourself. You deserve to be treated as a professional.

[xtxrn, ASN, RN]

This is a FWIW thing....

Abusers are opportunists. You (personally) are irrelevant- you're just there....Yes- you get a great deal of effect from what they do- but it's not YOU....THEY are the defects.

Same goes for domestic and childhood violence- you were just there. If it wasn't you- it would have been whoever was there.....that is actually a GOOD thing- YOU are not the problem.

But get away from anyplace that demeans you as a human. There is NO reason to put up with emotional battery. :hug:

[leslie :-D]

if you quit, it's NOT because you're a quitter.

it'd be because you think enough of yourself, to not be anyone's toilet.

as it stands, you will remain the target of this idiot's derisive, humiliating abuses.

you are worth so much more than that.

you need to believe that you deserve better.:hug:

leslie

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

My question is: WHY were you crying? Can you truly not control yourself well enough to NOT bust out in snot-slinging crying when confronted at work?

I guess my history of working in primarily male lines of work has me jaded, but I cannot imagine that blubbering while being counseled at work would win you any respect on the job.