write-up for insubordination because I turned my back to cry...

[farmernurse26]

I need your help!!!! I am being written up for insubordination on my 6th day of employment because when my employer was criticizing me for my work and telling me how much stress and how many errors I had made for him I started crying and turned my back to him on instinct. You know from experience that I have a tendency to cry, and I meant no harm by turning my back, but he took it as an affront. I have not been trained to work there, they showed me the clinical side that you already trained me to do in school, showed me the computer system and told me I would need to learn it, then cut me loose and expected me to know how to use the system like a pro by myself on the 3rd day. I thought I was cruising along using the forms I had figured out on my own and nobody said anything about it until today, other than that I needed to speed up. The girl that was supposed to train me was leaving me to my own devices and showing me to use forms that are no longer valid in our system only when I begged her to show me how to use the system. I don't know what to do. I am swamped, way in over my head and now I am suspended in lieu of termination tomorrow and facing insubordination write-up when I return on monday. what can I do? I'm so scared. This could end my nursing career before it even begins. Please help

[tothepointeLVN, LVN]

My question is: WHY were you crying?

I seem to recall this being a line in a George Lopez stand up comedy act.

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

What was his response?

[Guttercat, ASN, RN]

My question is: WHY were you crying? Can you truly not control yourself well enough to NOT bust out in snot-slinging crying when confronted at work?

I guess my history of working in primarily male lines of work has me jaded, but I cannot imagine that blubbering while being counseled at work would win you any respect on the job.

Brand new nurse, under-confident, overhwhelmed.

Remind me not to friend you on Facebook.

[purple10]

quit plain and simple, dont use them on your resume (tech. you dont have to list a place if you worked there less then 30 days).

I for one will own up to crying at work, i hate crying at work cause then i feel stupid but ive seen other nurses who have been in this profession for years cry at work its ok.

things will get easier, take it as a life lesson and now youll know what to ask in interviews about orientation among other things.

good luck to you, keep us updated on how your doing :)

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

Brand new nurse, under-confident, overhwhelmed.

Remind me not to friend you on Facebook.

I wrote what I wrote not to be mean, but to try to shed some light on a concept which I can't understand. I just can't imagine an employee bursting into tears during a counseling session. Again, in my past life I worked primarily with men, and maybe I'm just not used to workplace emotions just because you're being corrected.

I see it often on here, some nurse running away in tears, or having to pull over on the side of the road so they can cry over a bad day at work. I don't get it. And again I ask: WHY ARE YOU CRYING?

I can see crying from a death or something, I reckon. I work in NICU and have been emotional over losing a beautiful baby a time or two. But from "Hey, you really need to pick up the pace, you're moving much too slowly and aren't keeping up!"? Not so much.

Also, you see lots of cries of "nursing isn't respected as a profession!". Well, do we wonder why, if this is what we're doing when we encounter conflict?

You wouldn't want to be my FB friend, anyway. I post Farmville requests ALL THE TIME.

[tothepointeLVN, LVN]

Honestly I CAN I understand where you are coming from since I used to be the same way until I was stressed, harangued and harassed at work to the point where I burst into tears and COULD NOT STOP. I cry about 1x a year usually so yeah when you can't turn around and stay "QUIT IT!" to the bully for fear of losing your job then the tension has to come out somewhere leading to tears. Also I think that subconsciously we know that crying in front a person can be disarming so maybe subtly manipulative as a form of survival? This conversation could go in so many different directions. But again whats done is done.

[Guttercat, ASN, RN]

I wrote what I wrote not to be mean, but to try to shed some light on a concept which I can't understand. I just can't imagine an employee bursting into tears during a counseling session. Again, in my past life I worked primarily with men, and maybe I'm just not used to workplace emotions just because you're being corrected.

I see it often on here, some nurse running away in tears, or having to pull over on the side of the road so they can cry over a bad day at work. I don't get it. And again I ask: WHY ARE YOU CRYING?

I can see crying from a death or something, I reckon. I work in NICU and have been emotional over losing a beautiful baby a time or two. But from "Hey, you really need to pick up the pace, you're moving much too slowly and aren't keeping up!"? Not so much.

Also, you see lots of cries of "nursing isn't respected as a profession!". Well, do we wonder why, if this is what we're doing when we encounter conflict?

You wouldn't want to be my FB friend, anyway. I post Farmville requests ALL THE TIME.

Men experience the same strong emotions under stress, but let's be real here, women's physiologic response to duress is much more prone to be released through tears. Most times it can be controlled, other times tears well up uninvited, usually by a combination of a whole lot of factors playing in at one time.

A man may not be prone to tears, but may excuse himself from the room to avoid lashing out, saying something he'll regret, or punching a hole in the wall.

Cut this young one some slack. If you really read between the lines, this is more than someone puddling up over a brief encounter with a boss saying, "Hey, get a move on, take direction and learn to organize your time."

It's a brand newbie baby nurse in a possibly very toxic environment for learning confidence in her skills; someone afraid to go to work everyday.

It's not what you're saying that bothers me, it's how you said it. Whether you meant it or not it reads as ridicule.

And Farmville requests make me cry. :)

[mazy]

I'm not a crier, and sometimes I feel like there must be something wrong with me because stuff that sets off the waterworks in the women AND men around me does not make me cry. It's strange because I tend to get a lot more emotional about things than most people, I just don't show it.

However, one time a few years ago, when I was going through a really rough patch in my life, my supervisor had a sit down with me about something pretty minor, it was not a difficult or confrontational conversation at all, and I burst into such a fit of sobbing that my supervisor looked like she wanted to run screaming from the room.

I could not stop, I cried for an eternity, I had to leave the room and went off and cried and cried. I haven't cried again since then.

So let's give the guy some slack. Sometimes things catch us in an off moment and our emotions catch us off guard. This may be coming from a place that has nothing to do with the immediate situation, it's just a trigger for something going on at a deeper level.

[tothepointeLVN, LVN]

[sissiesmama, ASN, RN]

I wrote what I wrote not to be mean, but to try to shed some light on a concept which I can't understand. I just can't imagine an employee bursting into tears during a counseling session. Again, in my past life I worked primarily with men, and maybe I'm just not used to workplace emotions just because you're being corrected.

I see it often on here, some nurse running away in tears, or having to pull over on the side of the road so they can cry over a bad day at work. I don't get it. And again I ask: WHY ARE YOU CRYING?

I can see crying from a death or something, I reckon. I work in NICU and have been emotional over losing a beautiful baby a time or two. But from "Hey, you really need to pick up the pace, you're moving much too slowly and aren't keeping up!"? Not so much.

Also, you see lots of cries of "nursing isn't respected as a profession!". Well, do we wonder why, if this is what we're doing when we encounter conflict?

You wouldn't want to be my FB friend, anyway. I post Farmville requests ALL THE TIME.

Cool, Bortaz! I didn't know u were on fb! Send me a friend add!

Anne, RNC

[NurseOnAMotorcycle, ASN, RN]

What she said!

Times a million!!

..........

Did you smell that?... That! ...Smells like TROLL.

Bortaz, stop posting things just to get people riled up. You've posted your disagreement with the topic, now stop trying to sidetrack it.

..........

OP, good for you for your attitude! It sounds like jobs are hard to find and the MD knows it. You know how to document, so do it for yourself. Date/Time/Direct quote the crap out of this guy and then you'll have some real ammo for a lawsuit if they don't shape up.

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

Quit being ridiculous, NOAM.