Would YOU give me another chance?

[anjanette]

Hi everyone. I haven't posted much, but I read posts everyday and have seen the incredible amount of support this board can provide. I am in the process of a financial aid appeal at my local college. I would like some honest opinons on my letter and possible some suggestions of how I could make it better. The letter is kind of long, so I would understand if noboby want to read it :)

Thanks in advance

Anjie

Dear Appeal Committee,

I am writing this letter to appeal my financial aid suspension. I would like to begin thanking all of you in advance for taking the time to read this letter and consider my request to receive financial aid at .... First, I will explain my educational goals. I plan to apply to and hopefully enter the nursing program in fall of 2005. Meanwhile, I will complete all of the general education classes required for a degree in nursing. This timeline will enable me to take the time to focus on a relatively small number of classes each semester and achieve an excellent grade in each class. Although I must admit that becoming a nurse has not always been a dream of mine, I now realize that nursing is my "calling" and I am determined to do whatever is necessary to achieve this goal.

The first time I enrolled in a class at ... was fall semester of 1999. Shortly after the class began, my employer offered me a promotion and substantial raise. I decided to accept the position as a supervisor, as it was a great opportunity. Shortly after beginning my new position, I became overwhelmed by all of the extra hours at work, the responsibility of being a single parent, and my college class. At that time I made the decision to withdraw from the class. Unfortunately, I had no idea the impact that this decision would have on my future at ....

Two years later, I was laid off and searching for a new job. I began two classes at ... and shortly after, found a good paying job. Although this job paid well, it was very stressful and they soon required mandatory overtime from all of their employees. I decided to withdraw from one of my classes and try to juggle the rest of my responsibilities. I eventually stopped attending the second class causing me to receive a failing grade in that class. I regret that decision and now wonder if I could have managed to be successful in school had I used better time management skills.

Since I was not receiving Financial Aid either of the times I enrolled at ..., I was unaware that these choices would cause me to lose the opportunity for financial assistance in the future. My situation has changed greatly since I attended classes at .... I am now married and my husband supports my goal to become a RN. He will provide for our family financially and support me in any other way necessary to achieve my goal. Although I have made mistakes regarding my education in the past, I am now willing and able to focus on my schooling. College is now a priority in my life and an essential part of my future.

Thank you again for considering my appeal.

[purplemania, BSN, RN]

Sounds good to me. I would definitely feel you warranted a personal interview and maybe put you on probation if the school's policy warranted. Good luck and KEEP fighting.

[twarlik]

I think it looks good. Hope everything works out for the best!

[redshiloh]

Good letter. You stated why it happened and why it won't happen again. If they have half a brain and an ounce of compassion you are IN.

[colleen10]

Hi Anje,

Excellent letter! The only thing I would add, and this is dependent on your audience, is you may want to put at the beginning of the letter why you are not currently eligible for aid.

I'm just thinking that if you send this letter to the department the person that reads it and makes the final decision may not know what the official reason is causing you to be ineligible.

If you are giving it to someone who allready knows your case and circumstances then I wouldn't worry about it.

Good Luck!

[flowerchild]

I read your letter and would like to offer a different perspective from the other posters. The letter is fine in general but, I would edit it atleast one more time before sending. Lighten some of the negativity and focus more on you current positives in yourself.

I see on one hand, your only history with college involves you dropping from school. As you probably know, a lot of single moms with jobs go to college and succeed through perserverance and determination despite great hurdles in life. Your main reason for quiting before was for work opportunities. Clearly school was not your priority on both occassions.

On the other hand, you current situation is different in that you now have more determination, hubby and child. Hubby is supportive and that is wonderful but, do you still have to work as most of us do? If you are still needing to work to pay the bills as before, you have even more on your plate than when you were on your own. So before you had, work plus school. Now you have work, school, hubby, child, family home, etc. Your work load away from school is greater now than before. I would give you another chance and I hope you understand that I'm trying to be helpful.

I would make the two areas of your letter into one, stating in this year and that year that you were unable to complete classes due to financial responsibilities outside of college and became overwelmed, unaware of the risk of loosing future financial aid, etc.........or something like that. Keep that part short and to the point. Then in another paragraph focus on you and all your positives as to why your circumstances are different and condusive to college. Express your ambition, determination, and commitment in greater detail. Perhaps mention that through experience you are now aware of the demands and time involved in college and how you will meet these demands. Please take my post as my opinion only, as it is all that it is. Good Luck, I hope you get your financial asst. Let us know how it goes.

P.S. I think if you had one session completed successfully with a decent GPA they would have no problem granting you an appeal.

[ktwlpn, LPN]

Originally posted by flowerchild

I read your letter and would like to offer a different perspective from the other posters. .......... Hubby is supportive and that is wonderful but, do you still have to work as most of us do? If you are still needing to work to pay the bills as before, you have even more on your plate than when you were on your own. So before you had, work plus school. Now you have work, school, hubby, child, family home, etc. Your work load away from school is greater now than before.

Good point-school with a child,home and family is tough-add working to the equation and it is overwhelming for many.Why exactly was your financial aid denied? Flunking the one course? Quitting? Does your husband make too much money? Doesn't anyone get a student loan anymore? I qualified for some grant money which helped pay for my books and uniforms and I worked as much as I could during breaks and as little as possible during each semester but the majority of my tuition was paid by me-a low interest rate student loan.....I worked way harder and I feel I was less inclined to quit because I knew I would have to pay it back.At the time my track record was like yours-nursing school was the turning point for me.I grew up and stopped being a quitter...Good Luck

[anjanette]

Thank you everyone! My financial aid was suspended for a combination of withdrawing from classes and failing that 1 class. I do realize that many single parents are successful, and I probably could have done it. At the time I was 20 years old and really had NO clue what I wanted to do with my future, so I did focus on the job I had at the time. I did not realize that I would be suspended from all financial aid programs without even getting fin aid assistance...live and learn :)

Also, I do plan on getting loans, but that is all part of financial aid, if my appeal is not approved, no loans

I will not have to work while I am in school. Money will be very tight, be it will be worth it in the long run.

Again, thanks to everyone for the support and advice~I should know something by the middle of next week

Anjie

[SmilingBluEyes]

I like all the above advice. I just want to extend you my online support and best wishes! Good luck!

[Cynthiann]

Since you will no longer be working, I would definitely stress that in your letter. You used work responsibility as reasons for withdrawing and failing from 1 class. Say that you don't have any other obligations than your family and you feel that this will make you more successful in your classes.

Good luck!!

[ainz]

I sincerely hope that your appeal is successful. I understand the concern as I had trouble getting started in college and withdrew twice, however, I did not have financial aid. The first time I withdrew I simply quit going due to work and financial pressures. BIG MISTAKE. It was tough to even be readmitted much less worry about financial aid. So you may be lucky just to get back in and may have to forget the financial aid. Perhaps when you are readmitted and establish a track record of success that includes finishing the semester and making good grades, then you may become eligible to reapply. I had to do something similar to this to even get a student loan.

As far as the letter goes, my perspective may be a bit different. I think it is too long, too wordy, perhaps too much detail about your personal life and so on. I would state why I my financial aid was denied, shorten my explanation as to why I withdrew from school on both occasions. Then I would go into why they should roll the dice on you again, what is different in terms of your commitment. I think talking too much about circumstance would be counterproductive--what if those circumstances presented themselves again? I would focus more in the fact that you are more mature, your personal life is arranged now in a way that you can commit to school, and talk about your internal motivation and career goals and how college is the first step.

As I said earlier, you may experience what I had to do--that is tough it out and go a semester or two without financial aid. This allows you to build a track record, have some credibility, and demonstrate your ability in making the grades and commitment to finish.

What program is the financial aid through--government, the college?

[Agnus]

Good message. It may work. It has real merit andis worthy of consideration. I strongly agreee with the posters who said, shorten it, remove all negative elements, and edit the heck out of it for grammmar, sentence structure unnessary verbage etc.

Now, you still may not get it. So here is what you do. Go back and repeat those classes. Yep, it sounds harsh and sometimes that is what it takes. Even if they turn you down with this appeal if you repeat at least some of those classes you WILL be back in thier good graces. You could just take your pre nursing classes and use those to raise your standing but repeating the failed and dropped classes will work faster.

Talk to an acedemic advisor or counselor to see if you can raise your standing fast enough by just taking more classes and doing well, without repeating the dropped and failed classes.

In anycase if you have a failure that will always continue to pull down your standing; better to retake that one at least.

P. S. your paragraphs should be no more than 4-5 lines.