Would you hire me?

ava'smomRN · Mar 15, 2006

i think its overall pretty good, however i would take out the parts that refer to your age. instead i would write something like i while balancing high school i was able to make a commitment for the hospital. i would also include the balance of nursing school and working.

the part where you talk about coming in on your days off, i would say that i was able to fullfill the needs of the unit i worked by taking extra shifts, and rotating shifts.

overall, again i think its a good letter, and id hire you, but i am a very personal person, i dont like when people write those really proffessional long cover letters, i just like something like you have written, however, i think employers like the long letters full of proffessional jargon.

if you are gonna use my suggesstions, of course you would need to edit the grammar and maybe reword it. i was just trhowing ideas, i really didnt have time to suggesst anything really good

i hope this helps and good luck!!!!!!

Blee O'Myacin, BSN, RN · Mar 15, 2006

Talk about your duties at the hospital and what you can contribute as a RN. Keep it short, simple, make sure you run spell/grammar check and have another person proof read the hard copy. Personally, I'd toss a cover letter and resume in the circular file with gramatical and spelling errors. Charting is legal documentation and I would want an employee who expresses themselves properly on paper.

Good luck with the interview tommorow. Don't discuss your personal life. You having a child is none of HR's business until you fill out your insurance forms!!!

Blee

SharonH, RN · Mar 15, 2006

I would eliminate the parts referencing your age and why working 7A-7P would be good so you could spend time with your son. I would also not say that I "deserve" the position, I think a better choice of words would be something like "I am the right person for this position." Otherwise, it's a good letter.

veronica butterfly, ADN, RN · Mar 15, 2006

I have a job interview on Friday, it's at the hospital affiliated with the clinic I currently work at as a LPN. I graduate in May with my RN...

This is really hitting home about what to tell about your family. I am a single mom of a disabled boy who is very hard to find caregivers for. The hospital has several nurses on the Baylor program (weekend only 12 hour shifts with bonuses that increase the pay...). If I can work weekends only, I can always find caregivers. It's finding someone to get him on and off the bus from school and no regular hospital shifts seem to work out with these times.

This job is not posted as Baylor, but I know they are always desperate for weekend people and they are hiring several people. I have a good reputation with this company. Do I say anything at the interview about really wanting Baylor hours?

I realize this is a bit off-topic from OP, but the issue of being a working mom coexisting with being a reliable employee is the same... thanks!!!

SharonH, RN · Mar 15, 2006

I have a job interview on Friday, it's at the hospital affiliated with the clinic I currently work at as a LPN. I graduate in May with my RN...
This is really hitting home about what to tell about your family. I am a single mom of a disabled boy who is very hard to find caregivers for. The hospital has several nurses on the Baylor program (weekend only 12 hour shifts with bonuses that increase the pay...). If I can work weekends only, I can always find caregivers. It's finding someone to get him on and off the bus from school and no regular hospital shifts seem to work out with these times.
This job is not posted as Baylor, but I know they are always desperate for weekend people and they are hiring several people. I have a good reputation with this company. Do I say anything at the interview about really wanting Baylor hours?
I realize this is a bit off-topic from OP, but the issue of being a working mom coexisting with being a reliable employee is the same... thanks!!!

If you need to work only weekends, I would be forthcoming about that in the interview. If they can't accomodate that, then this job will not be a good fit for you anyway. There is nothing wrong with saying what you want out of a job.

llg, PhD, RN · Mar 15, 2006

I would revise the letter significantly ... taking out the parts that suggest you have an attitude of entitlement about the position. No one wants to hire someone with an attitude that says, "I deserve this. You owe this to me." etc. While you might not have intended for your letter to convey that attitude, it does.

Your letter should emphasis what you have to offer them and your desire to meet their needs in their efforts to take care of the patients.

Good luck,

llg

smilin_gp · Mar 16, 2006

I agree with some of the above points, don't say why you deserve the position or need the particular hours. DO say what you can offer them as an RN and back that up with what you have already brought to them.

TLC RN · Mar 16, 2006

I would change it up. Look online for some examples of cover letters. Like others have said, you have to tell them what you will offer them. Did you get any honors (employee of the month nominations etc) to tell them about? Also, don't use abbreviations. Don't put in about your age and family.

Good start & good luck

veronica butterfly, ADN, RN · Mar 16, 2006

If you need to work only weekends, I would be forthcoming about that in the interview. If they can't accomodate that, then this job will not be a good fit for you anyway. There is nothing wrong with saying what you want out of a job.

Thanks Sharon

Havin' A Party!, ASN, RN · Mar 16, 2006

You've gotten excellent suggestions for the revision.

I'd add that the letter not be addressed to: "To Whom This May Concern."

Think it's best if you address it to a named human... possibly someone in HR that knows you.

Good luck!

Katnip, RN · Mar 16, 2006

I would definitely rewrite it.

Don't mention your son. Don't mention your age. Those are personal things that don't belong in cover letters, or resumes. Or interviews, for that matter.

I don't think I'd be real specific about what I've done in the past as far as coming in on my days off, etc. It you have worked there already then your files will show it. Just say you've been a dedicated teamworker as a PCA and will continue to be so as an RN.

Just state simple facts. Cover letters should be short and to the point.

Do mention that you've been working as a PCA and that you want to continue your commitment to the hospital. You can discuss weekend options during the interview.

Cover letters are just meant to clarify what you're applying for and where exactly your interests lie.

And do make sure spelling and grammar are perfect in the cover letter and resume. You won't get far without that. Either indent paragraphs or put double spaces between them. The format is important. It has to be quick and easy to read.

I like the suggestion of looking up cover letters and resumes online to get an idea of what good ones look like.

Good luck to you. I hope you get the position you want.