Would you feel comfortable with putting your loved ones in a nursing home?

statphleb SN · Dec 26, 2008

i would not. i have worked in too many LTC facilities to know what goes on there. I would hate to think my mom or dad would have to turn a call light on to use the bathroom and wait until someone if anyone would come. I have also worked with alot of people who were only there for the paycheck not because they really cared about the resident---There are alot of LTC staff that really do care also- but are shafted with understaffing and find it hard and impractical totry and answer every call light light as soon as it blinks.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Dec 26, 2008

Although I have spent most of my short career in nursing homes, I'd feel a tad uneasy if my mother or father were placed in one. I am speaking for the facilities in my area when I say that many are chronically lacking staff, have atrocious employee turnover rates, heavy patient loads, and other issues that make me slightly leery.

pagandeva2000, LPN · Dec 26, 2008

I would agonize if I had to place any relative in one. Sorry, but the staff ratios are too short, nursing staff too burnt out, even if they did care, there would not be enough time in the day to act on all of it.

allnurses Guide · Dec 26, 2008

My mother would come back to haunt me if I ever put her in a nursing home! She's a nurse and that is one thing I had to promise her heh. It's actually something that worries me as I'm working in another country and they are getting older... I can't see my siblings taking care of my parents like I would, so I'd probably go home to look after them.

jode · Dec 26, 2008

I voted yes, but with certain reservations. First, I would thoroughly investigate the nursing home. Second, I would make sure that I or someone else visted EVERY DAY! I mean EVERY DAY! I know for a fact that vigilance will improve patient care...

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Dec 27, 2008

Here is another thread on this exact same topic. Click on the weblink below if you're interested in reading the responses.

https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-discussion/would-you-put-211745.html

BroadwayRN, ASN, RN · Dec 27, 2008

It is an inevitable course we are on. One day, most of our parents will wind up in a nursing home. Their care just becomes too demanding for their children who have jobs and families and simply not enough time to handle it all. I have seen a lot of guilt from family members over the years for doing this, yet the decisions they made are no fault of their own. Would you feel comfortable with putting your loved ones in a nursing home?

I would never put one of my parents in a nursing home. When I was a child I was not the easiest child to raise and my parents didn't stick me somewhere because they had jobs and other children to care for. They found enough time to handle everything and I plan to do the same for them even if it means I have to give up working. I have been in enough nursing homes working PRN for an agency, and in several parts of the country and I know what kind of care they get when no one is around. My parents? No way!

Ruby Vee, BSN · Dec 27, 2008

i would never put one of my parents in a nursing home. when i was a child i was not the easiest child to raise and my parents didn't stick me somewhere because they had jobs and other children to care for. they found enough time to handle everything and i plan to do the same for them even if it means i have to give up working. i have been in enough nursing homes working prn for an agency, and in several parts of the country and i know what kind of care they get when no one is around. my parents? no way!

you're young, and i'm assuming haven't taken on a lot of the responsibilities that you will have accumulated by the time your parents are looking at the nursing home vs home care vs moving in with the kids choice. as someone who is contemplating that very question on an urgent basis now, i can tell you that your situation (and theirs) may change dramatically by the time you are faced with the necessity to make that choice. i sincerely hope that you (and everyone else on this thread) can keep an open mind and not judge those of us who are forced to put their loved ones in a nursing home. for some, it really is the best, if not the only option.

lymphnode · Dec 30, 2008

I tried to convince both mom n dad to go in. I believe in adding life to years. But living under someone else's roof was not an option to either. Mom passed from a blood clot and Dad from COPD just last year within month's of each other. Neither wanted daily healthcare management from professionals. I specialize in geriatrics and the residents I care for as an LPN daily in this Center I work in, have added life to their years. Thank you.

gentlegiver, ASN, LPN, RN · Jan 23, 2009

After working in LTC first as a CNA then as an LPN I can say NO Way! My father chose to go to a LTC after being diagnosed with CA. He made that decision because he refused to wear my Mom out with careing for him. After Dad passed and Mom was diagnosed with Brain Tumors, our family got together to decide what to do with Mom. A few wanted her in a LTC because Dad had such a nice stay there. But Mom had mental & physical issues. I explained how I saw patients being "cared" for after the staff had to run to pick the pt up off the floor for the 3rd time in an hour. We chose to keep Mom home, of course there were 8 of us to help care for her so it was easier for us.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jan 28, 2009

i just put my mother into assisted living. mom has alzheimer's, dad has been caring for her at home. but he had a massive stroke and died two weeks ago. mom has always said she'd never leave her hometown, and still insists that she not leave. it's a small town. she knows everyone, their parents, their siblings, their spouses and all the various ancestors and descendents. i understand her not wanting to leave. but living at home alone was not an option. i spent the two weeks since my father's death with my mother at home, getting up every two hours to keep a fire in the wood stove and trying to keep my mother, who wanders, from wandering outside without a coat or shoes. (it's wisconsin. it was -35)

i haven't slept in two weeks; haven't had a meal that wasn't interrupted by crying or anger about "going to a home" or trying to redirect mom from something else. i haven't been able to complete one task without jumping up to keep my mother from messing with the wood stove, with the gas stove, with an electric cord, with something that might hurt her. i'm nearly psychotic from sleep deprivation, and i'm exhausted from trying to find a place for mother, three house cats, 8 feral outside cats and plan dad's funeral, dispose of his things, pack up mother's things . . . .

the assisted living i found for my mother is a beautiful place. it's bright and cheerful with good food and great caregivers. i know mom doesn't want to be there, but i honestly can't think of another alternative. i have to go back to work. i miss my husband and the teenager. i put my mother into assisted living, and although i'm not sure how comfortable i am, it was the only thing to do.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Feb 1, 2009

i just put my mother into assisted living. mom has alzheimer's, dad has been caring for her at home. but he had a massive stroke and died two weeks ago.

i'm so very sorry for your loss, ruby.