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Discussion

Work asking all the time if I can work extra At work and home

I know I should expect this as I am in nursing but it's driving me insane. I am constantly being asked to work extra. They message and/or call while I'm at work and while I'm at home.

Granted, my job isn't that difficult as it's home care but it is 12 hour shifts... I work 3 on, 3 off... 4 on, 4 off.

I don't have any children but I do have a life outside of work. I hate to say no. And, I've run out of excuses as to why I can't work extra. Sometimes here and there, I will pick up a half day and once in a while (rare), I will pick up an extra 12hr shift.

It's hard to ignore a text or phone call, especially when they are calling while I'm at work. They ask at least twice a week, and then act irritated when I say I can't. Honestly, I'm just exhausted and need those days off but I don't want to not sound like a team player. I don't call out sick... No matter what. I do have vacation days that I'm worried about losing because we are so short staffed.

What do you do when your boss is constantly calling and texting you to come in on your day off? What if they did it while at work. Especially when they ask for the whole month... Example "are there any days you can cover in November?"

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    • Featured Replies

    Try setting the record straight with them - tell them "from now on I will not be able to pick up any extra shifts due to ... ". Don't let them make you feel guilty, you are already working full time.

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    21 minutes ago, skittlebear said:

    And, I've run out of excuses as to why I can't work extra.

    That's the problem. Excuses were never required. Yes or no will suffice, and "sorry, I'm not available" is a complete sentence that should end with a period.

    Also, this is not based upon whether or not you have children; it is based upon terms you and your employer agreed to.

    Think things through and decide what it all means to you (how much you like the job overall, how irritating this one issue is becoming or not becoming, etc.). Then you will better understand your options. If you are open to the idea of securing other employment and feel that it is likely you would be able to, then start coming up with some terms of your own: When they call you say something like, "Yeah, I could do that for 1.5X (or double time or whatever) but other than that I really can't." Then don't babble or make any excuses. The ball is in their court and they can do what they want with it. ??‍♀️ If they say they can't do that just say, "Oh. Well, thanks for asking me anyway."

    If you can't afford to have them getting irritated with you, then you'll just have to throw them a bone every now and then.

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    33 minutes ago, JKL33 said:

    That's the problem. Excuses were never required. Yes or no will suffice, and "sorry, I'm not available" is a complete sentence that should end with a period.

    Also, this is not based upon whether or not you have children; it is based upon terms you and your employer agreed to.

    Think things through and decide what it all means to you (how much you like the job overall, how irritating this one issue is becoming or not becoming, etc.). Then you will better understand your options. If you are open to the idea of securing other employment and feel that it is likely you would be able to, then start coming up with some terms of your own: When they call you say something like, "Yeah, I could do that for 1.5X (or double time or whatever) but other than that I really can't." Then don't babble or make any excuses. The ball is in their court and they can do what they want with it. ??‍♀️ If they say they can't do that just say, "Oh. Well, thanks for asking me anyway."

    If you can't afford to have them getting irritated with you, then you'll just have to throw them a bone every now and then.

    I LOVE the idea of telling them you'd be available...if the price is right. ?

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    Sounds like you need to assert yourself and your needs a little more. "Sorry, I can't" is plenty of reason not to work extra. Their getting irritated with you just reflects poorly on their own staffing plans, which apparently don't work unless people do extra shifts. Also, you should be calling out sick if you're sick, not "never no matter what." It doesn't sound like they respect you too much, so you need to stand up for yourself.

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    • Experts

    I always used, "Sorry, I have other plans." What those other plans might have been were none of their business.

    I think you are lucky if they are asking you well in advance as you describe them asking if you have any days available in November. That wouldn't bother me so much because I could then pick a shift to volunteer to "do my part," and then be able to say, "No, I've already scheduled myself extra for the month" whenever they asked again. I used to tell my Manager that I would pick up a little occasionally if I knew well in advance and could pick my shift ... but that I would never pick up extra time at the last minute.

    Also, do not answer your phone when the caller ID says it is them. Let it go to voice mail and then respond only when you are good and ready to talk to them.

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    • Author

    Is it awful that I don't want to work any extra days in November?

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    1 hour ago, skittlebear said:

    Is it awful that I don't want to work any extra days in November?

    No. Some people pick up loads of overtime. Some don't do any. Some are anywhere in between those two extremes. Do what you want to do.

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    • Moderator
    1 hour ago, skittlebear said:

    Is it awful that I don't want to work any extra days in November?

    Stop being a doormat! I say that with love. You already work full time. No, it is not awful! There is NOTHING wrong with wanting one full time job! All you have to say is, "I am not available beyond what is already scheduled." Period. No apologies, excuses, reasons, etc. This is not your burden! You need your time off. Do not answer your phone on your days off when work calls. Let them go to voicemail. Do not answer the texts. Just don't! Boundaries are important. You have let them color outside the lines, but it's time to reel it back. You can do it!

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    As someone who is regularly calling nurses to ask if they're able to pick up an extra shift, a word of advice:

    Just say "no"

    You do not need a reason. You do not need an excuse. You do not even need to answer the text or voicemail if you don't want.

    No, I can't. Sorry.

    Practice that.

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    You are already a “team player” — you “play” three days on, and another four days on with your days off in between.

    If they can’t cover the shifts with their existing team they need to hire more players — and be a good enough company that free agents will want to “play” for them.

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    • Author

    Thanks so much everyone. I just replied to my DON that I have too much going on in November and I can't pick up any extra days. I already picked up a 8 hours last month and few the month before. I'm tired. Even working my regular hours I am so tired.

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    • Experts
    11 minutes ago, skittlebear said:

    Thanks so much everyone. I just replied to my DON that I have too much going on in November and I can't pick up any extra days. I already picked up a 8 hours last month and few the month before. I'm tired. Even working my regular hours I am so tired.

    I couldn't agree more with the advice you have received. Now just do it. Yes, I know you might feel guilty, but staffing and volunteering for OT and being exhausted are not in your job description. Grow a backbone so you can stand up for yourself.

    And no need to give explanations or excuses. Just say no.

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