Wondering how others deal with RUDE patients, docs, colleagues?????

Zookeeper3 · Sep 3, 2007

ohh, no:uhoh3:. Now let me admit, I'm the first one to claim "pillow therapy" for the PIA down the hall;)

I may walk out the room, take a breath, roll my eyes, think of 10,000 remarks... then smile, walk in and love 'em to death. Not fake sweet talk, simple... "what else can I do for you..... 10 tasks later... look at watch... I now need to make my other patients comfortable as well, is there any last request before I step out, I'll be back around .... with your meds".

NOW, with the continued simply arrogant RUDE person... I have been known to say "excuse me... can you repeat that? "... 1/2 the time this works if said in an innocent tone. Then I've also said "have I done something or said something that has offended you because I FEEL you're angry towards me and I don't want that". And even... "are you feeling anxious and overwhelmed, because I'm perceiving you coming off irritable and I want to help you".

So NO, my patients are at the height of stress, scared, lashing out at me because I'm there 12 hours and I expect that, expect to help them deal with these scary and new emotions. Do I want them.... HELL NO! do I now want a change in assignment and a combat day off with pay.... yep.

Not the reason I clocked in;) The good, the bad and the ugly is the day in the life of a hospitalized patient... sometimes we can forget this. Sometimes we need a day off with wine. It's tough out there people! But It's WHY I clock in.... I only remember this once the day is over, never during... go figure

raynefall · Sep 3, 2007

If you think a patient has been rude to you, do you retaliate? Do you walk slowly instead of stepping spryly to get that washcloth he requested? Or give the lower dose of pain med? Put the ER chart to the bottom of the stack?

Now why would I want to do that? If I have a difficult patient in the ED, I want them to be seen quickly so they can get out of there so I don't have to deal with them.

I deal with some very rude patients where I work, but I do not take it personal or retaliate (I have no time for that anyhow), I just shrug my shoulders and continue to do my work, hoping that I can get them wherever they need to go asap!

faithful11 · Sep 3, 2007

If you think a patient has been rude to you, do you retaliate? Do you walk slowly instead of stepping spryly to get that washcloth he requested? Or give the lower dose of pain med? Put the ER chart to the bottom of the stack? Forget to get the snack he wants? Can't find an extra chair for his visitors? Other? Or do you not allow yourself such indulgences?
How about rude docs? Do you not help them get the lab results and suture sets they need? page them late at night for things that could wait?
Rude colleagues - refuse to cover their patients while they go smoke for the 15th time that shift? not help them turn, pull up, or transfer patients? Mentally make up stories about them suffering?
I am NOT asking if you would ever deliberately harm your patient. PLEASE don't ever do that, no matter how rude they are. We have to answer to our own consciences, to the law, and to God and I don't want to see anyone in trouble on any level.

The items listed in bold above, are deliberate and potentially harmful to patients. There is much to be said about being professional, while we are still flawed human beings, we chose a field and sadly---it isn't always nice. Some things we do, are never good enough/fast enough/thorough enough for some patients. It happens. Our professional and ethical behavior should always prevail,and in times when we seriously feel that it cannot, then we need to have the good sense and professionalism to seek out others who may be better able to handle the patient and his/her needs at that time.

A case in point, I have a gay coworker, who is open with certain staff about being gay. He doesn't announce it, but those of us he is friendly with, he is open about it. So in other words, not all the staff are 100%confirmed though they have their rumors about him.

Well, one day we had an emergency (I work in Forensic Psych) and we were escorting a patient to a room so she could be given a PRN. Proper procedures were being followed, but the patient was beyond agitated and began verbally lashing out on EVERYONE. She looked my coworker up and down and laughed at him and said "Well, look at this! You better not put your hands on me after you have been blah blah blah, gay this and gay that etc.:angryfire Did you know you are going to burn in hell you? ect." She continued to her tirade, yelling and screaming, although by then the coworker was not even part of the intervention. He looked hella embarrassed, almost ready to cry it seemed and also pissed off. He didn't lash out at her in return, I guess being in psych we make sure to intervene and try to refocus each other on the fact that our patients sometimes will behave this way, I dunno. I just walked with him up the hall, but he never presented an attitude or comment that suggested that he might me mad AT the patient. Rather, he walked off and took a breather and kept it pushin!

BTW I have seen people do mean things on purpose to spite a patient, and all I do is :uhoh3: ummm, WE are the ones with the licenses and badges and keys. WE chose to work here to help these people. PLEASE don't do that around me, because when the investigation comes rolling in (I work for the state, not sure how other places work) I dont want to have to tell the TRUTH about what you are doing, and I damn sure aint gonna LIE for you. I have seen one of the LVN's on our floor, struggle with not letting her personal attitude overtake her professional attitude. She has told patients, REPEATEDLY "Don't talk to me Mr.so and so...I was really nice to you yesterday and you treated me like crap. So I am mad at you, so just stay away from me and don't say anything to me." as well as "you better not need anything from ME today. You gave me a real bad attitude earlier, so now, what goes around comes around. Don't ask me to help you, because I'm gonna keep walking." Ummmm, honey, that is patient abuse and in some cases neglect. She is new to psych but brags about how long she worked acute. :nono:

Tweety, BSN, RN · Sep 3, 2007

I re-read your post 5 times and don't get the connection between your post and race. I don't see how race plays into this unless you're asking about racism in the workplace.

Trudy merely said the thread about racist patients got her thinking about rude patients. Don't read too much into it. Get some sleep.

Jo Dirt · Sep 3, 2007

I saw where there was this study done where medical workers could answer anonymously and they admitted to deliberately using the wrong sized needles and in some cases not using anesthesia.

When I worked at the nursing home we had a patient who got her bath on the night shift. She was really crabby and always told the day shift supervisors she never got her baths at night. So, one night the CNA told me he had all the fans on in the shower room so it would be "nice and breezy" and he wanted to make sure this patient remembered getting her bath.

From all the fussing and griping going on during the shower I guess she remembered it.

Speaking for myself, I'm just not vindictive. I'm certainly no saint or goody-goody but I would just not get satisfaction out of secretly causing grief for someone I didn't like. Wait, I have to take that back. I'm a true crime buff and there are some people on death row I'd love to get ahold of. Only, I would want them to know what I was doing and why I was doing it.

As far as the average Joe, I'd get no satisfaction out of making his life harder.

NightOwl0624 · Sep 3, 2007

I am not a nurse yet, so I can't really comment. I only hope I will behave with professionalism as many of you have already talked about.

I have had the occasion to view family members being cared for by extremely professional nurses. One family member, who has a normally kind and passive disposition, was in a psychiatric episode and needed to be hospitalized. A "regular" hospital was holding him until a bed in a psych hospital opened. Although I think he behaved worse to his family visitors than the staff, I have always appreciated the kindness and respect the nurses showed towards him and us.

The other example was my grandfather, who was several years into Alzheimer's. He was always dignified and respectful before he became sick, but he did become verbally abusive and beligerant to the staff that was caring for him. I only wish they had known him before he got sick... but did appreciate how they did not seem to take his remarks personally.

TazziRN, RN · Sep 3, 2007

no, i don't retaliate, but i don't go beyond what needs to be done. i will do what i need to do without doing the little extra things.

RunnerRN, BSN, RN · Sep 3, 2007

I definitely wouldn't do any of the things you mentioned - that would be quite unprofessional. But I will say that I am typically an upbeat and smiling RN. I am cheerful, kind, open, and willing to do pretty much anything to make my patients' ER stay more comfortable. BUT when someone starts being ignorant or rude, all that goes out the window, and I tend to give good care without the psychosocial. So I won't miss their first IV only to stick with an 18 the next time, but I will stick and get out. But I would never tell a doc to hold off on seeing the patient in retaliation.

I hate when patients say "I'm usually a nice person. I'm not usually like this, only when I'm sick." I truly believe people are fundamentally the same whether they are ill or healthy - nice people don't suddenly become rude and mean just because they have a cellulitis. I know the ED system we have creates anxiety and is chaotic, but to me it all goes back to many people "looking out for number 1." It seems people ignore the fact that there might be someone in the area who is sicker than they, and want what they want when they want it. But I digress.....

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Sep 3, 2007

I am one of the black nurses who has made posts in the previous thread regarding "nurses of color."

Even if a particular patient or his/her family members have made racial comments to me, or have made stereotypical assumptions about me, I would NEVER be late with anyone's pain med purposely. I would NEVER 'forget' someone's bedtime snack because they're being difficult. I would NEVER alter the care being provided because of someone's personal beliefs.

First of all, if I am altering my care, I would be the first person to be reported for being incompetent. I don't want to give these patients and family members a reason for reporting me.

Secondly, I don't believe in fighting fire with fire. Two wrongs don't make one right.

Lastly, I am a laid-back person with a degree of self-respect. Any self-respecting person would do the right thing for his/her patients.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Sep 3, 2007

If you think a patient has been rude to you, do you retaliate? Do you walk slowly instead of stepping spryly to get that washcloth he requested? Or give the lower dose of pain med? Put the ER chart to the bottom of the stack? Forget to get the snack he wants? Can't find an extra chair for his visitors? Other? Or do you not allow yourself such indulgences?
How about rude docs? Do you not help them get the lab results and suture sets they need? page them late at night for things that could wait?
Rude colleagues - refuse to cover their patients while they go smoke for the 15th time that shift? not help them turn, pull up, or transfer patients? Mentally make up stories about them suffering?
I am NOT asking if you would ever deliberately harm your patient. PLEASE don't ever do that, no matter how rude they are. We have to answer to our own consciences, to the law, and to God and I don't want to see anyone in trouble on any level.

No on all accounts. For once, it would seem that it would take extra time and effort to do such, nevermind the fact that it's just plain wrong. And how would i feel if my nurse used me as a means to retaliate against a co-worker?? :nono:

ohmeowzer RN, RN · Sep 3, 2007

hi trudy.. i have had my share of rude patients... i don't do anything to them.. like give them a lower dose of pain med ( if anything i'd want to knock tjem out ..lol ) i just try to be nice and explain what i going on.. i had one lady last week that had , dilauded, benedryl and ativan all IV push and made me draw them all up in front of her.then she wouldn't let me dilute any in NS .. she screamed and hollered and was arugmentive , it was a nightmare. i told her i was going to dilute them and she said she didn't want them that way .. i said fine.. you have them diluted or not at all.. she screamed at me to go away... she was a creep. anyway , i always try to be nice and do all i can for my patients.oh and rude co workers.. i am always nice to them.. i help them and answer their call lights and they usually are nice to me. i kill them w/ kindness. some people just will never be nice. but that dosen't mean i can't be nice. i hope i anwered some of your questions. i am just talking about me and how i handle things in general.. i didn't notice the race thread. i just treat all people the same and love them all.

pinksugar · Sep 3, 2007

No, I don't do any of those things. If anything, I'd like to give them more pain meds (but don't, of course). I work in an ICU/CCU where most of the patients have very serious chronic conditions. They stay there a long time. When a patient is giving me a hard time, I brush it off. The way I see it is I am leaving that place after my 12 hours and they are not. My job is a small part of my life at any given time. That ICU is their life, until they transfer, go home, or pass away. Sad but true.