Will I become a bad nurse? How should I change?

[blueus]

(Sorry about the long post and bad grammer. Hopefully I will have time to edit once I get out of class )

I'm not really a people's person and I enjoy the company of an animal more than I do that of a person. I am easily ticked off and I admit that I do have a bad temper to the point that if I'm angry or upset that I want the people around me to be upset as well (I don't why that is). So when I'm angry I purposely try to tick someone else off (especially my family where much of my anger is directed to for no reason at all).

And even at work (at a resturant), sometimes I try to keep my composer to my customer's but my face is an open book and someone can easily tell if I am angry and they become intimidated by it and maybe even think that I'm a ***** and a bad employee.

There are numerous times I have tried to control my temper but I never seem to be able to control it. And it doesn't matter who the person is or what their age is, I still direct my anger at people (not to be abusive at all).

There is also times that I get angry to the point that I give myself a headache. One of my biggest pest peeves is people who moves like they don't have someone to be or does a task too slow and that pisses me of because I'm very impatient. And I've notice that i am succeptible to a lot of road rage when people drive to slow so I speed. My family tells me that I'm going to be a bad nurse because it and I'm trying my hardest to change my thought process but it never seems to go away.

I have been told that I have Type A personality and I am very afraid that I won't be a capable nurse because I am really a compassionate person. I love animals and I help the homeless. Also I'm the type of person who wants everyone to be happy when I'm happy, so I go out of my way to make them happy.

This is not a trolling post, and I'm actually quite serious and wanted to get this off my chest and admit to my faults because I always deny it to everyone else. Does any nurses have type A personalities as well and how do you control your frustrations? My mother acts just like me and I believe that I got it from her.

Any opionins or a good telling is welcomed. Thank you.

[blueus]

I would start with please don't take offense to this, but I'll save it because what I am about to say is offensive...You are not a "type A personality", what you may possibly be is an a**hole. The only reason that I am suggesting this is because I was once an A$$hole myself. I lacked coping skills, had serious anger management issues, and had A LOT of growing up to do! Your pet peeve is when people don't do things fast enough??? You have road rage??? You make those who know and care about you the most miserable because you are angry??? NOW, you've made it through step 1, you recognize that this is a problem. However, I see a lot of justification, but no real desire to change. Do you want to change? Do you realize that you are the one who has the problem, and not the person not completing the task fast enough? While you realize that this is a problem, if you don't think that it needs to change, then you haven't realized that there is a problem. I have always been empathetic, will help anyone if I can, and put other's needs ahead of my own. What I had to really work on was how I put myself out there. I had to teach myself to smile more, to slow down, and to bite my tongue. Have you heard the story of the boy whose dad made him put a nail in the fence every time he lost his temper? I'll find it and share the picture. Put yourself in the shoes of other's, "why" do people do what they do? How do they feel when you lash out at them? How would you feel if someone you cared for said they were done with you? You can't take back the things you said, and definitely can't take back the way you made them feel. Everyone is fighting something. YOU can only control YOU. No one can "make" you angry, you make you angry. Make sense?

Yes, I completely understand and my oldest sister, the one I'm most closet to, even said it herself that she doesn't like being around me. That do hurt my feelings and it does make me want to change my ways. And I will seek help like others have said as well.

[run.for.the.roses]

Also, I was trying to be funny, and really hope you do not take offense! I really was a jerk, a jerk with a big heart, haha. Putting myself in other's shoes, as cliché as it sounds, has helped me immensely! Even when I would start screaming at the person in front of me going 15 in a 55 I tried to stop myself, for example I will think "did I start tailgating him? Maybe he's distracted, something could have happened, he just received bad news, or is on his way to somewhere he really doesn't want to be, maybe she's crying and can't see, or mentally preparing for an interview". That's just stupid random examples, but I do actually find myself talking like that (in my head of course). On the other hand, when dealing with entitled, selfish, arrogant people I might ask myself what made them that way. We're they pushed too hard as kids, do they believe they are better than other people, if so that can't be a very rewarding life. I've experienced great loss, and profound joy, anger, sadness, contentment, the whole spectrum. I can relate to almost any situation, in some way anyway, and that helps me to look at the world through the eyes of the person who was ticking me off. My family got the backlash when I was an ass because they would deal with it, they loved me unconditionally, despite being a jerk. Also, it's quite embarrassing to show those colors to people who dont know you, isn't it? Good luck, I'm going to make an awesome nurse, I'm already pretty decent at taking care of people, and work great with others, and you can too!

We watched this in every class in nursing school I think...

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

Get therapy for it. For you. Life will be much better whether you ultimately pursue nursing or not.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

To all posters:

I took some people's advice at work tonight and when it was time for my break and I was starving but a lot of customers wanted my help I did not get angry like I usually would. I found that just smiling and thinking positive things of one day becoming a great nurse helps to counter my anger. And it made me feel really good about myself.

That's a nice start. But you cannot cure yourself overnight. You really need professional help. Please get it.

[annmariern]

(Sorry about the long post and bad grammer. Hopefully I will have time to edit once I get out of class

I am assuming this is a nursing school class? So the very first thing that struck me was why you are on the internet instead of paying attention to your teacher? I'm saying this after talking with a very experienced LPN that has been forced back to RN school (or be fired) and is amazed that in class he sees a lot of people playing on Facebook etc. The only time they pay attention is when the information might be part of a test. Not interested in the theory, rationale, just in passing the tests. This explains a lot of new grads lack of basic information we are seeing lately at my facility. They treat the job as an extension of nursing school. It isn't. Its a job. I'll leave psychoanalysis to others. But if you don't want to be a bad nurse, start by paying attention to the people your paying large amounts of money to teach you. Just a thought.

[lavenderskies, BSN]

I haven't read the entire thread but I would like to submit a thought.

Anger isn't a primary emotion. It's a secondary emotion related to fight or flight.

I would encourage you to look into this and consider if there is a possibility of anxiety living within you.

Sourcing the causes of anxiety, how and why you respond to anxiety the way you do and how to manage it will serve you better in the long run. Career choices are a secondary concern, although some people can manage to live a life fairly well never addressing their internal struggles by choosing careers that never make them face their conflicts.

[Scrubs_n_sirens, MSN, RN]

(Sorry about the long post and bad grammer. Hopefully I will have time to edit once I get out of class )

I'm not really a people's person and I enjoy the company of an animal more than I do that of a person. I am easily ticked off and I admit that I do have a bad temper to the point that if I'm angry or upset that I want the people around me to be upset as well (I don't why that is). So when I'm angry I purposely try to tick someone else off (especially my family where much of my anger is directed to for no reason at all).

And even at work (at a resturant), sometimes I try to keep my composer to my customer's but my face is an open book and someone can easily tell if I am angry and they become intimidated by it and maybe even think that I'm a ***** and a bad employee.

There are numerous times I have tried to control my temper but I never seem to be able to control it. And it doesn't matter who the person is or what their age is, I still direct my anger at people (not to be abusive at all).

There is also times that I get angry to the point that I give myself a headache. One of my biggest pest peeves is people who moves like they don't have someone to be or does a task too slow and that pisses me of because I'm very impatient. And I've notice that i am succeptible to a lot of road rage when people drive to slow so I speed. My family tells me that I'm going to be a bad nurse because it and I'm trying my hardest to change my thought process but it never seems to go away.

I have been told that I have Type A personality and I am very afraid that I won't be a capable nurse because I am really a compassionate person. I love animals and I help the homeless. Also I'm the type of person who wants everyone to be happy when I'm happy, so I go out of my way to make them happy.

This is not a trolling post, and I'm actually quite serious and wanted to get this off my chest and admit to my faults because I always deny it to everyone else. Does any nurses have type A personalities as well and how do you control your frustrations? My mother acts just like me and I believe that I got it from her.

Any opionins or a good telling is welcomed. Thank you.

First thing is first. Lose the attitude. I mean this in a loving way. You need to make a conscious effort to lose that attitude. You can be smart as Einstein but nursing is a people business. You will not last long if you can't be patient, keep your face straight, and not antagonize people when you're angry.

If you can't get that straightened out-- you need to get out now. Because no employer will tolerate that behavior. And it's not like you don't already know this.

Get a counselor and some anger management under your belt.

[Raven Sierra, BSN, RN]

We watched this in every class in nursing school I think...

That is a great video. We watched it in school, too.

OP - I have a bad shoulder. Old rotator cuff injury from my junior high gymnastics days. Now, 20+ years later, it still hurts sometimes. Sometimes I lift a patient the wrong way or do too many repetitive motions with it at work, and bam! I'm on ibuprofen for a couple of weeks. It's a flaw. Sometimes it interferes with work. I've learned to adjust my life around it.

Your anger CAN be like my shoulder. It won't go away, and it may still flare up from time to time. But you can learn to live with it - to respond differently, to see things through a different lens so it doesn't affect your work or home life. A good therapist can help. But only you can change.

I won't reiterate what others have said. They're right: this is a high-stress field with a lot of potentially-aggravating factors: patients, families, co-workers, hospital administration...it's not a field for people on a short fuse. But I told you my story because I do believe that most of us can work with our issues to overcome them. It will take hard work. It will take you more work than someone without anger issues. But I don't believe that it's a lost cause.

That said, I do encourage you to do something. Life is too short to carry such anger. Do it for you and the ones you love. Best of luck to you.

[blueus]

(Sorry about the long post and bad grammer. Hopefully I will have time to edit once I get out of class

I am assuming this is a nursing school class? So the very first thing that struck me was why you are on the internet instead of paying attention to your teacher? I'm saying this after talking with a very experienced LPN that has been forced back to RN school (or be fired) and is amazed that in class he sees a lot of people playing on Facebook etc. The only time they pay attention is when the information might be part of a test. Not interested in the theory, rationale, just in passing the tests. This explains a lot of new grads lack of basic information we are seeing lately at my facility. They treat the job as an extension of nursing school. It isn't. Its a job. I'll leave psychoanalysis to others. But if you don't want to be a bad nurse, start by paying attention to the people your paying large amounts of money to teach you. Just a thought.

Lol I'm still a pre-nursing though I wish I was in nursing school. And when I wrote this post I was waiting for my teacher to open door as he came 10 min late. :)