Why don't we treat each other better?

[Raquel8]

I have noticed a disturbing pattern in nursing...We treat each other awfully bad for being such caring people. I'm generally a up beat happy person but the negativity of how I have seen nurses treat each other gets me down, I feel if I do my part hopefully it will change.

MDs will stand up for each other no matter how wrong they are. I called a Resident to let him know his post op CEA patient pressure was 170s-180s systolic, he told me and I quote, "I dont care about his pressure, call me when it's over 200 then I'll do something." They next day I argued how wrong this was and how I needed medicine and the attending looked me dead in my face and made up some BS about how new research says that you didnt have to treat pressures until the 200s, giving up that he wasn't listening either I gave up since it was his patient anyways...When I came into work later I heard that after I left the attending reamed the resident in a closed office.

But why wouldnt he admit to me that yes the pt probably needed prn bp meds and he would order them asap?

Then I heard another nurses tell a MD that she doesnt do a procedure that way but so and so does, completely throwing the other nurse under the bus! What? crazy, It makes me wonder geez what do you say about me when I'm not around?

We are all on the same team MDs arent any better then nurses, they are my equals with a different role, but at the end of the day I think working together works best and easier if we are all on the same page. So why do we work against each other some much.

I feel I should teach nurses and med students that we are all friends; get along and help each other, that's what is best for the patient.

Anyone else deal with this and more importantly doing something to change it for the better?

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

My statements might not be well-received, but I firmly believe in them, so here goes...

Many physicians will not tattle on each other unless the circumstances are extenuating, even if a wrongdoing was clearly committed. However, many workplaces cultures encourage nurses to snitch, sell each other out, backbite, and sabotage their coworkers.

In addition, the nursing profession sometimes attracts more than its fair share of people with low self-esteems. Persons who suffer from low self-esteem crave validation and need ego-boosting in order to feel better about themselves. Therefore, we see the two-faced, backstabbing, passive-aggressive behaviors emerge.

Some nurses with low self-esteem get temporary thrills by treating their coworkers like monkey poop. For some reason, their egos are temporarily boosted when they insult their colleagues behind one's back.

You must always remember that a person does not feel the need to be two-faced and passive aggressive toward another human being unless his/her own self esteem is missing something.

One solution is to improve the working environment of bedside nurses. Overworked and underpaid nurses are likely to feel powerless and lash out at each other, so I feel that we would see less hostile behavior if working conditions were improved. Also, bad behavior rolls downhill from management to staff nurses, so I think that every manager needs adequate training on how to boost the morale of the nurses that they manage.

[sapphire18]

Sorry, this does not answer your question, but usually pt's with carotid stenosis need higher BPs to maintain their cerebral blood flow.

But I do agree with you that we need to be on the same team, I'm not sure why things are the way they are right now.

[OCNRN63, RN]

I suggest you read the thread about "Bitter dried up nurses..." What makes brand new nurses/students treat others this way?

[Ms.RN]

my statements might not be well-received, but i firmly believe in them, so here goes...

many physicians will not tattle on each other unless the circumstances are extenuating, even if a wrongdoing was clearly committed. however, many workplaces cultures encourage nurses to snitch, sell each other out, backbite, and sabotage their coworkers.

in addition, the nursing profession sometimes attracts more than its fair share of people with low self-esteems. persons who suffer from low self-esteem crave validation and need ego-boosting in order to feel better about themselves. therefore, we see the two-faced, backstabbing, passive-aggressive behaviors emerge.

some nurses with low self-esteem get temporary thrills by treating their coworkers like monkey poop. for some reason, their egos are temporarily boosted when they insult their colleagues behind one's back.

you must always remember that a person does not feel the need to be two-faced and passive aggressive toward another human being unless his/her own self esteem is missing something.

one solution is to improve the working environment of bedside nurses. overworked and underpaid nurses are likely to feel powerless and lash out at each other, so i feel that we would see less hostile behavior if working conditions were improved. also, bad behavior rolls downhill from management to staff nurses, so i think that every manager needs adequate training on how to boost the morale of the nurses that they manage.

i completely agree with you thecommuter. :up:

[DysrhythmiaRN11]

Its really funny for me to come across this post. I am a new graduate and I landed a job in a nursing facility/subacute care. The work is tremendously rediculous like beyond inhumane. You have so many patients with so many things to do on top of handling situations that arise outside of the things that you already have to do. I work the night shift and I am still on duty for the first half hour of the morning shift from 8 to 830am and even sometimes later if I still have work to do. Well these nurses are so freakin rude, so clicky, they lack compassion and they are quick to throw you under the bus. As a new grad I need support, we as nurses all need support from each other, why not help each other. Its just so sad. I wonder sometime why did I get into nursing.... its a tough transition.

[Psychtrish39, BSN, RN]

I agree with Commuter and I dont know how to stop it either I think only nurses can do it themselves. I always thought as a woman until I was a nurse that women in general got along boy I have found out different but I think Toya1916 find that one nurse that is kind to you and ask her questions and try to hang in there .

I have gotten used to it but it bothers me and causes me more stress being a nurse worrying about nasty coworkers than doing my job as stressful as it is. I can forgive a patient anything but when someone you work by or after treats you bad its just crapola . I never do act the same way back I want to but then it just turns into a war. Nurses will never change healthcare or how we treat one another until we unite so honestly that is the truth.

[DLS_PMHNP, MSN, RN, NP]

We as nurses, have to deal with:

- the ever-popular "the customer (patient) is always right" Bend over backwards for ridiculous "customer" requests.

- working for long shifts, often without breaks.

- physical, back breaking work

- ineffective administration/management and their nonsense policies

- everything is the "nurse;s fault"- WE look bad on Press Ganey scores if someone's meatloaf is cold.

- dealing with human suffering, day in and day out.

I could go on and on. We have no one to take our frustrations out on (we certainly can't take it out on our "customers" or their families). Some of us displace this frustration onto our co-workers, unfortunately.

If working conditions were better/tolerable , we'd probably treat EACH OTHER better.

All the best,

Diane, RN:nurse:

[DysrhythmiaRN11]

I agree with Commuter and I dont know how to stop it either I think only nurses can do it themselves. I always thought as a woman until I was a nurse that women in general got along boy I have found out different but I think Toya1916 find that one nurse that is kind to you and ask her questions and try to hang in there .

I have gotten used to it but it bothers me and causes me more stress being a nurse worrying about nasty coworkers than doing my job as stressful as it is. I can forgive a patient anything but when someone you work by or after treats you bad its just crapola . I never do act the same way back I want to but then it just turns into a war. Nurses will never change healthcare or how we treat one another until we unite so honestly that is the truth.

Yeah I will hang in there.. I have come too far. I have already decided to just keep quite and mute unless it concerns a patients care. My supervisors at night are awesome and provide a great deal of support. ITs only when my supervisor leaves in the morning and I am still there. Sometimes I may have a few questions. I am still a fresh new nurse and on top of that I have only been off of orientation for 5 days. They have to expect that I will need help, but instead they treat me like crap. Its almost like discrimination... they seem to dislike new nurses. Its a horrible feeling most of the time and I am going to remain professional and do what I have to do. I didn't get into nursing for this, but it is draining dealing with coworkers and their crap and putting up with all the different personalities of the patients also. I will stay strong.

[JeneraterRN]

To add to what Commuter stated, there is a mentality that I believe is fairly common among all groups and workplaces-the schoolyard pecking order. For some, they feel like a bigger, better person by diminishing someone else's image through various tactics. Others see those on top of the order and want to be cohorts, so they follow the alpha's lead. As adults, we are supposed to rise above this, but I still see it in most places I work. This is the reason, I think, for the behavior that Commuter described.

The only person you can control is yourself (or others who willing to submit to another), and the best thing a person can do is try to be fair and nonjudgemental to all. It's a pretty big task, and no one is perfect. I guess I'm never surprised by humans acting like humans.

[DysrhythmiaRN11]

There is a mentality that I believe is fairly common among all groups and workplaces-the schoolyard pecking order. For some, they feel like a bigger, better person by diminishing someone else's image through various tactics. Others see those on top of the order and want to be cohorts, so they follow the alpha's lead. As adults, we are supposed to rise above this, but I still see it in most places I work.

The only person you can control is yourself (or others who willing to submit to another), and the best thing a person can do is try to be fair and nonjudgemental to all. It's a pretty big task, and no one is perfect. I guess I'm never surprised by humans acting like humans.

Very well thought out, I guess humans will act like humans... so there should never be a shock.. Nice way to think of it...

[TheMiss]

My statements might not be well-received, but I firmly believe in them, so here goes...

Many physicians will not tattle on each other unless the circumstances are extenuating, even if a wrongdoing was clearly committed. However, many workplaces cultures encourage nurses to snitch, sell each other out, backbite, and sabotage their coworkers.

In addition, the nursing profession sometimes attracts more than its fair share of people with low self-esteems. Persons who suffer from low self-esteem crave validation and need ego-boosting in order to feel better about themselves. Therefore, we see the two-faced, backstabbing, passive-aggressive behaviors emerge.

Some nurses with low self-esteem get temporary thrills by treating their coworkers like monkey poop. For some reason, their egos are temporarily boosted when they insult their colleagues behind one's back.

You must always remember that a person does not feel the need to be two-faced and passive aggressive toward another human being unless his/her own self esteem is missing something.

One solution is to improve the working environment of bedside nurses. Overworked and underpaid nurses are likely to feel powerless and lash out at each other, so I feel that we would see less hostile behavior if working conditions were improved. Also, bad behavior rolls downhill from management to staff nurses, so I think that every manager needs adequate training on how to boost the morale of the nurses that they manage.

I agree with you communter. And with others.

The only thing you can change is you. Be the nurse you want to be. And do not become the nurse you complain about now. I like to show opposite behaviour - and believe me, what goes around comes around also counts for good deeds.

Why not tell a patient or doctor next time that you really value the work the previous nurse has done.

We get so often told that "The other nurse explained or did it different". Why not turn around and answer "Nurse A is a very qualified and experienced nurse, we do and explain things different because there is not only one correct way. I'm sure she provided excellent care"

And tell the nurse directly during handover - best so that other people can hear it. Not faking, but really appreciating someones work. It can be small as "Wow, you did all that during your shift? You must have been super busy, I wonder if I could have done all of that."

And stand up to the docs. They know that nurses like to bite each other and use it to their advantage. I do not let any doc talk negative about a fellow colleagues.