Why don't we treat each other better?

[Raquel8]

I have noticed a disturbing pattern in nursing...We treat each other awfully bad for being such caring people. I'm generally a up beat happy person but the negativity of how I have seen nurses treat each other gets me down, I feel if I do my part hopefully it will change.

MDs will stand up for each other no matter how wrong they are. I called a Resident to let him know his post op CEA patient pressure was 170s-180s systolic, he told me and I quote, "I dont care about his pressure, call me when it's over 200 then I'll do something." They next day I argued how wrong this was and how I needed medicine and the attending looked me dead in my face and made up some BS about how new research says that you didnt have to treat pressures until the 200s, giving up that he wasn't listening either I gave up since it was his patient anyways...When I came into work later I heard that after I left the attending reamed the resident in a closed office.

But why wouldnt he admit to me that yes the pt probably needed prn bp meds and he would order them asap?

Then I heard another nurses tell a MD that she doesnt do a procedure that way but so and so does, completely throwing the other nurse under the bus! What? crazy, It makes me wonder geez what do you say about me when I'm not around?

We are all on the same team MDs arent any better then nurses, they are my equals with a different role, but at the end of the day I think working together works best and easier if we are all on the same page. So why do we work against each other some much.

I feel I should teach nurses and med students that we are all friends; get along and help each other, that's what is best for the patient.

Anyone else deal with this and more importantly doing something to change it for the better?

[ICUnurse1985]

I wish this was a new concern but it is not. I have been in Nursing a long time and I have seen it happen over and over again. We can only control our own behaviour. So be a good role model and be welcoming to new staff, donot become involved with gossip, look for opportunities to help others, stand up for other nurses (isn"t that what you would hope someone would do for you?) praise fellow staff members when they do a good job, and if you have some negative feedback that must be given, do it in a private place and donot go to your manager before you confront the person themselves. None of us are perfect, I have been on the other end when I did not feel welcomed and people were sayling negative things about me. My mother used to say "when they are talking about you they are leaving someone else alone." This too will pass. If all of us could try to remember how it feels to be "the new kid on the block" things would be very different!

[ctnjason]

My statements might not be well-received, but I firmly believe in them, so here goes...

Many physicians will not tattle on each other unless the circumstances are extenuating, even if a wrongdoing was clearly committed. However, many workplaces cultures encourage nurses to snitch, sell each other out, backbite, and sabotage their coworkers.

In addition, the nursing profession sometimes attracts more than its fair share of people with low self-esteems. Persons who suffer from low self-esteem crave validation and need ego-boosting in order to feel better about themselves. Therefore, we see the two-faced, backstabbing, passive-aggressive behaviors emerge.

Some nurses with low self-esteem get temporary thrills by treating their coworkers like monkey poop. For some reason, their egos are temporarily boosted when they insult their colleagues behind one's back.

You must always remember that a person does not feel the need to be two-faced and passive aggressive toward another human being unless his/her own self esteem is missing something.

One solution is to improve the working environment of bedside nurses. Overworked and underpaid nurses are likely to feel powerless and lash out at each other, so I feel that we would see less hostile behavior if working conditions were improved. Also, bad behavior rolls downhill from management to staff nurses, so I think that every manager needs adequate training on how to boost the morale of the nurses that they manage.

This is a WONDERFUL analogy. I knew a nurse once that was the most DRAMATIC pediatric nurse ive ever met. We had a patient in CT scan (15 years old) that was absolutely FINE. The patient even moved onto the table by themselves, was alert, etc. The nurse donned a lead apron and told me (the CT tech) that there was nothing i could do to get her out of the scan room during the scanning because "the patient needs me" and "im in charge". I proceeded to not scan the patient until she got outta the room because her prescence was not needed in the room. She could watch the patient behind the glass window like the rest of us. She could clearly see him and the monitor. Her actions that night made me envision her at a bar trying to pick up a man by saying "im a pedi nurse..... i save lives......" LOL

[FLmomof5]

There is one thing I learned from my parents about "bullies"....when they get the response they want, their behavior is validated.

I grew up as an intellectual tom-boy, gymnast and cheerleader (and trust me....they did NOT welcome me onto the cheerleading squad!) I avoided reacting to their jibes and ultimately they stopped. On very rare occasions, I would rebuke them...."Does it make you feel 'big' to say that about me?" .... "Wow. Really? I feel sorry for you!"

It is my personal belief that as more and more men enter the field of nursing, the "catty" women will retreat. Well, I can hope for it anyway!!!!

[mazy]

I suggest you read the thread about "Bitter dried up nurses..." What makes brand new nurses/students treat others this way?

Or the one about bitter, know-it-all LPNs.

[DeLana_RN, BSN, RN]

I, too, fully agree with the Commuter's post. Everything she described already took place during the best of times (read: nursing shortage, when nurses were at least somewhat appreciated). Add to that today's widespread job insecurity, and you have a very volatile mix....

Let's just nothing is going to change anytime soon (except in individual settings, as it has always been the case).

DeLana

[leslie :-D]

Many physicians will not tattle on each other unless the circumstances are extenuating, even if a wrongdoing was clearly committed. However, many workplaces cultures encourage nurses to snitch, sell each other out, backbite, and sabotage their coworkers.

In addition, the nursing profession sometimes attracts more than its fair share of people with low self-esteems. Persons who suffer from low self-esteem crave validation and need ego-boosting in order to feel better about themselves. Therefore, we see the two-faced, backstabbing, passive-aggressive behaviors emerge.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

One solution is to improve the working environment of bedside nurses. Overworked and underpaid nurses are likely to feel powerless and lash out at each other, so I feel that we would see less hostile behavior if working conditions were improved. Also, bad behavior rolls downhill from management to staff nurses, so I think that every manager needs adequate training on how to boost the morale of the nurses that they manage.

re 1st paragraph, i may be misunderstanding, so please clarify if i'm wrong.

but where are nurses encouraged to "snitch, sell each other out, backbite, and sabotage their workers?

i am aware of nm's/higher-ups wanting us bedside nurses, to report other nurses gross wrongdoings (diversion, impaired, pt abuses/negligence, falsifying documents, etc)....

is that wrong?

i do know that some nurses will support the others misdoings, but is it really "selling each other out?" when we do so...

all for the sake of pt protection?

i am well aware of some (not majority, not all) nurses who are downright backstabbing and malicious but wouldn't allege this in general.

as for dr's sticking with ea other, do we really know that as fact?

go over to studentdoctors, and you'd think it's one of the most backstabbing professions out there.

just because we're not privy to their internal world, doesn't mean they don't backstab ea other, either.

re 2nd paragraph, ((i didn't include the subsequent 2 paragraphs since they meant pretty much overlapped in meaning),

i do agree that low self-esteems/insecurity can bring out our inner miseries but i find that more nurses with insecuritys,

don't have that aggression you speak of (i find majority to be meek, complacent)

but because these aggressive ones can be so malicious and dramatic, this is what the workplace hears about...

we seem to thrive/pay attn to negativity.

i mean if you really think about it, don't you find the instigator has a small group of supporters, while the rest of the unit tries to stay out of it and continue to do their work?

i truly believe that the majority of nurses/everyone, would prefer a harmonious work environment.

we just cannot give these 'evil' nurses/people the attn they crave.

in your final paragraph, i totally agree with the 'other' reason this may happen...horrid working conditions.

but even then, i don't find the backstabbing per se...rather displaced frustration..snapping at ea other...

but very little that is actually malicious.

also agree that much of it is bad mgmt...and that poop does roll downhill.

i do believe nurses would treat ea other with the recognition and respect we deserve, if we found a job at a facility where mgmt does honor their employees...in that gratitude also rolls downhill...and uphill....and to your left...and to...:)

so let's start seeking the respect outside, if we cannot get it or give it, inside.

leslie

[tewdles, RN]

I honestly feel that nursing environments that are antagonistic and hostile with the nurses treating each other badly are poorly managed. If you put competent, skilled nursing leaders in those areas providing guidance, boundaries, and professional role modeling you would eliminate the majority of that behavior.

[leslie :-D]

I honestly feel that nursing environments that are antagonistic and hostile with the nurses treating each other badly are poorly managed. If you put competent, skilled nursing leaders in those areas providing guidance, boundaries, and professional role modeling you would eliminate the majority of that behavior.

that is the majority of the reason...

which causes some to behave badly.

wish i had said that (w/o writing so much!)

leslie:)

[nurse2it]

Well said, Commuter! May I add that I think plain old-fashioned female jealousy plays a part as well. Most of the male nurses I have worked with don't engage in gossip, sabotage, etc. Hate to disparage my own kind, but it seems it's the women who cause the drama. I'm ashamed to say I've been guilty in the past. Until we can be honest about this, the problem will continue. It's not comfortable for us to take an honest look at ourselves and admit crappy behavior, but how else do we fix the problem?

[sourapril]

i think part of it is education. part of it is the culture of the organization. part of it is the nasty effect of too much estrogen.

[fortheloveofothers]

Interestingly, I have been thinking of this very subject all week. I had a patient that was a marine, retired, but kept saying semper fi to me the day. His friends would come to visit him, and they were the absolute post card for forever faithful. Why do nurses not deserve the same kind of respect. Maybe we should adopt some latin term or some means of uniting. No, we do not go to battle in the same way marines do. No, we do not risk our lives, but we have all experienced tragedies and even been treated badly by others, including nurses, physicians and patients and their families. Wouldn't it be nice to just hold our heads up high and say, "We still believe in you even though this was a bad decision." I have never heard that. I think it would be great to hear from a patient or their family. Instead, I have heard, I do not care how busy you are, I needed you and you were not here in time. I wish we could make things easier. But we seem to go backward and pull nurses apart instead of together.

[Kashia, ASN, LVN]

I do believe these things may be first addressed in nursing school.......personalities and attitudes. We are prepared for our scope of practice......but the most difficult part of the job is the personalities, which I agree are becoming worse. People are treating each other worse. If you are kind, you can easily become a target or be viewed as having no confidence and then become a target. good topic:-)