Published
Why is it.......
Nurses can be cleaning a patient up that just had a huge code brown and at the same time be thinking about what to have for lunch?
Anyone else have any quirks that you do in the course of your nursing day that would make normal? people sick?
Pam
Always do this to everyone, even when standing in line at the store. My boyfriend told me I have a sick mind because of it. I'm always pressing on his veins. Also my dad has huge cord veins and wouldn't even need a tourniquet and I sit there and think would it would be like to practice putting a 14 gauge into one of them. I'm obsessed with veins.Someone mentioned that they dream of an IV when they are hung over. I do that all the time! My dad (who is a fireman) and my boyfriend's friends who are paramedics said they do it all the time when they come into work hung over. They bolus themselves really quick and then feel all better.
im glad im not the only one who does this lol... i am so guilty of scoping out veins.
my boyfriend (who is an RN) and i bolus each other when we're sick. people think we are so weird...
when you are eating lunch in the cafeteria and a code blue is called, running to the code and continuing to eat your pizza with your right hand while you bag the patient with your left.
looking at gangrenous toes and thinking about how good pistachios are.
talking to homeless people in the park and thinking "definately undifferentiated."
clapping for the patient with an SBO that has their first BM.
referring to a large code brown as "fudgey the whale". and then having a craving for carvel.
getting a polyp stuck on your face from lasso-ing a snare too fast, and waiting to put it in the specimen bottle so the doc can take a picture with his cell phone.
thinking how much better popcorn tastes out of a bedpan.
playing "ER paintball" in the holding area with pen lights and prefilled saline flushes.
doing CPR with one leg hyperextended on a stretcher and one on the floor because the intubating doctor is 6'5 and they forgot to let you get your other leg off the ground before they pumped the stretcher up. (this is a real talent, i swear)
being able to get underneath a penniculus to put in a foley.
I went out to dinner with some of my girlfriends from the nursing program and we got on the topic of emisis, and things along those lines while eating dinner, and after a bit we realized where we were and we were probably disturbing the people around us!
I've done exactly that! You just don't think that what is normal for you at work is not palatable to another!
ok....
this is too funny!!
this a post on my bulletin on myspace from one of my fellow nursing friends...
she is great... and.. well...
Top 10 reasons to date a nurse!
1) They can help you get over a hangover or sickness
2) Bedbaths!
3) The uniform
4) They are exposed to so many xrays, its like a form of birth control
5) You will never need to buy condoms, paracetamol, toothbrushes or any hospital supplies
6) They know how to handle bodily fluids!
7) Nothing shocks a nurse, they have always seen smaller or indeed bigger!
8) They wont be disgusted by your toilet habits
9) They are experienced in manual evacuation when your full of crap
10)They know how to handle the human body!!!!!!!
Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell??
It took her two weeks to realize she wasn't at work!
You know you're a nurse if.....
• You believe that every patient needs tlc, diazepam,temazepam and haloperidol.
• You would like to meet the inventor of the Nurse call buzzer some night in a dark alley.
• You believe not all patients are annoying, some are unconscious.
• Your sense of humor gets more warped each year.
• You can only tell time by the 24 hr clock.
• Almost everything can seem humorous....eventually.
• When asked what color that patients diarrhea was, you show them your
Shoes.
• You know the smell of different diarrhea to identify it.
• Every time you walk you make a jingling noise because of all the
Scissors and clamps in your pocket.
• You can tell the pharmacist more about the medication they are dispensing than they know.
• You carry more "spare" meds in your pocket rather than waiting for pharmacy to deliver them.
• You refuse to watch ER because it is too much like the real thing and it triggers flashbacks.
• You check the caller id on your day off to see if anyone from the hospital is trying to call and ask you to work.
• You've been telling stories in a restaurant and made someone at another table throw up.
• notice that you are using more 4 letter words than you did before you started nursing.
• Everytime someone asks you for a pen you can find at least 4 of them on you.
• You can intubate your friends at parties.
• You don't get excited about blood unless it's your own.
• You live by the motto "to be right is only half the battle, to convince the doctor is more difficult"
• You've basted your thanksgiving turkey with a nasogastric syringe.
• You've told a confused patient that your name was that of your co-worker and to holler if they need help.
• Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly normal.
• Your bladder can expand to the size of a Mack Truck's Radiator Sump.
• When checking the level of a patient’s orientation you aren't sure of the answer.
• You find yourself checking out other customers veins in grocery waiting lines.
• You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table on your dinner break and not be embarrassed when you wake up.
• You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they will drop near you and you'll have to do cpr on your day off.
• You have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit".
• You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled "Suicide ... Doing It Right".
• You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there".
• You have ever had to leave a patient's room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.
• You throw a party for a co-worker and use a urinal (clean of course) as a lemon-aid pitcher and use a bed sheet for a tablecloth
• You believe that the government should require a permit to reproduce.
• You hate to get dressed in "real clothes" because scrubs are what you live in and why can't they make jeans that comfortable.
• You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.
• Your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 hours / days / weeks / months / years)?".
• You often stay awake for 24+ hrs at a time when you work nights realize you don't need alcohol or drugs to hallucinate just lack of
sleep...
• You pull over in some parking lot after working nights because you are too tired to drive home and wake up to someone knocking on your window thinking you have had a stroke because you are passed out in your car and drooling.
• Your finger has gone places you never thought possible.
• You have seen more memberes than any prostitute
• You disbelieve 90% of what you are told and 75% of what you see.
• You've sworn to have "Not For Resuss" tattooed on your chest.
• You threaten to strangle anyone who even starts to say the "q" word when it is even remotely calm.
And you aren't freaking out about the MRSA scare because everyone you know already has it.
thanks jen!
doe9181
76 Posts
Always do this to everyone, even when standing in line at the store. My boyfriend told me I have a sick mind because of it. I'm always pressing on his veins. Also my dad has huge cord veins and wouldn't even need a tourniquet and I sit there and think would it would be like to practice putting a 14 gauge into one of them. I'm obsessed with veins.
Someone mentioned that they dream of an IV when they are hung over. I do that all the time! My dad (who is a fireman) and my boyfriend's friends who are paramedics said they do it all the time when they come into work hung over. They bolus themselves really quick and then feel all better.