Why do people belittle others to make themselves feel better?

Nursing Students General Students

Published

Just venting here...

I am in my 40's and just started my pre-nursing classes in January 2012. Took my HESI-A2 this summer and scored an average of 99 on it. I've been burning all my neurons studying like crazy and have been able to maintain a 4.0 GPA - I do this to try to increase the probability that I am accepted to my school's nursing program. I've made so many sacrifices... I've missed out on outings with my husband and children because I've had to stay at home and study for exams and lab practicals, etc. I work very hard to do my best. I'm sure you all know what it's like when you really want it.

Anyway... I was sooo mad yesterday. There is this girl in my A&P class, who also happens to be in my Intro to Nursing class. We were getting ready to receive the results for our last exam in A&P and I've been working so hard that I always get the top grade. So the professor announced that only one person got 100 on the test. One girl tells the other "it was probably her", and then this girl says "it's because she is older and has more time to study". I was soooo mad. I didn't hear her, someone else told me what she said after class, so unfortunately I didn't get a chance to respond. But I felt like my efforts were being undermined. I guess at a conscious level I don't care what she thinks - but it just makes me so mad. People will say anything to justify themselves I guess. I mean, I know it would be so much easier for me if I would have done this back when I was 20, living at home, no kids, no responsibilities other than making good grades. What right does she have to belittle my effort? Plus... there are other people there, my age, with no jobs, that don't make the same grades I do.

Just so mad. Ok, venting done. Now to study.

I'm in my next to last semester of nursing school, and I'm with the same small cohort for every class/clinical. have been since day 1. I have a very good Gpa & am always one of the top grades in the class. We too have a group of bullies, one is 40 something, one is 30 something and one is about 22. They laugh (even snorting!) at, roll their eyes & ridicule the students they dislike. They make comments when others ask questions in class. It's ridiculous, I feel like I'm in junior high with these 3. Anyhow, they are always bragging about how great they do... Until they bomb an exam and then they clam up. They always want to know your grades... I just started saying "I passed the exam" instead of saying my actual score. This way if they pry more they just look nosy!

Maybe try that tactic if people keep asking how you did. And hang in there... I keep telling myself once school is done in May, so is my exposure to these 3 particular people! :)

So are you the one who made 100% congrats! Regardless of your age level that is impressive. I know how hard it is to study with little ones. So keep up the great work!!

I have to say that my class is very supportive. There is a vast age range, students who work full time, parent full time, work and parent fulltime. We do ask "how do you think you did?" and then discuss questions that we had issues with. Usually this makes it harder to wait for our scroes to come out. I only discuss my grade score with one other student. We seem to always score around the same and are friends so if she does better than me I am not mad. :) I just say " I am happy with my score." to other students who ask. Usually I make A's and I am happy but others are just happy they passed and I do not want them to feel bad. My A will not make me any better of a nurse than her/his B or C. We all work hard and have the same goal.

Just keep up the great work. You wont make everyone happy. As long as you are proud of yourself and your family sees that your deidcation is paying off thats what is important.

They are mean, insecure and jealous! Uugh. Glad to be done with it.

Yes, "silence is golden."

Ignore the hooks! :headphone:

Oh, the "dream-stealer's" are there... Expect it. :up: I learned that the hard way.

Time to press forward and keep your eyes in the books! :geek:

God Bless, and Happy Studying future nurse. :nurse:

Specializes in ICU.

I'm not going to try to imagine why someone might have said that because, not everyone who says or does something unlikable is mean, insecure or jealous. Sometimes they are just ill-informed.

But I will ask why you would bother focusing on what other people say? If it doesn't apply to you, ignore it and move on.

Specializes in Pediatrics.

I totally admit to asking about test grades of my classmates. I like to see where I fall and how much harder I need to push myself! Certain people thrive on competitiveness, not necessarily to rub it in your face, but as motivation to stay on track and work hard. I'm happy when I do well, and I'm happy when my classmates do well, too!

People are always going to judge no matter what. I never shared my grades because I did well and I didnt want people always asking and competing with me in their heads.... They are just jealous that they arent making the grades. I would keep up the good work because your future patients are the ones who will benefit from your knowledge and expertise! And dont settle for "just passing" either, who would want a nurse like that? No one!

Some times venting is good! It is harder when you are older. I know I am 50+ have been a RN for 10 months and am half way through ASU's BSN with a 4.0. I have three kids two special needs, one of which is on hospice. I had a bilateral mastectomy 3 weeks before I started RN school, I made the grades with a lot of hard work and tears at times. Try to stay posative and know that you will be a great leader when you get done. You know how life works, the young ones are still learning!

Age isn't everything! I'm 20 and have a husband and a daughter. I work full time graves at the hospital and attend school full time. People put too much weight on someone's age and not enough weight on individual circumstances. Good for you for working so hard!

Specializes in ICU.
Just venting here...

I am in my 40's and just started my pre-nursing classes in January 2012. Took my HESI-A2 this summer and scored an average of 99 on it. I've been burning all my neurons studying like crazy and have been able to maintain a 4.0 GPA - I do this to try to increase the probability that I am accepted to my school's nursing program. I've made so many sacrifices... I've missed out on outings with my husband and children because I've had to stay at home and study for exams and lab practicals, etc. I work very hard to do my best. I'm sure you all know what it's like when you really want it.

Anyway... I was sooo mad yesterday. There is this girl in my A&P class, who also happens to be in my Intro to Nursing class. We were getting ready to receive the results for our last exam in A&P and I've been working so hard that I always get the top grade. So the professor announced that only one person got 100 on the test. One girl tells the other "it was probably her", and then this girl says "it's because she is older and has more time to study". I was soooo mad. I didn't hear her, someone else told me what she said after class, so unfortunately I didn't get a chance to respond. But I felt like my efforts were being undermined. I guess at a conscious level I don't care what she thinks - but it just makes me so mad. People will say anything to justify themselves I guess. I mean, I know it would be so much easier for me if I would have done this back when I was 20, living at home, no kids, no responsibilities other than making good grades. What right does she have to belittle my effort? Plus... there are other people there, my age, with no jobs, that don't make the same grades I do.

Just so mad. Ok, venting done. Now to study.

Sorry to har about the bad experience kelani01. That's just life though, let it blow off your shoulders and move on.

Specializes in Forensic Psych.

Let the haters be your motivators. :headphone:

People like to blame things outside of themselve for their struggles. It makes us feel better but doesn't actually require much work. Some of classmates love to blame their low grades on professor's teaching methods or diorganization or busy lives, so then when people with equally (or more) busy lives manage to succeed with the same teachers it takes the wind out of their excuses. I've gotten a few snarky comments about my grades. Those who know me well and study with me know that I bust my behind to get them. I have some of the youngest kids out of my cohort and I still have the highest grades right along with a couple of the childless people.

Anyway, all I can say is that it's time to grow a thick skin. I was crushed in Micro when my lab partners turned on me for scoring higher than them on tests (I was pregnant and had little ones and rarely came to class because of my really bad morning sickness. Apparentlt that wasn't fair) but now I don't care what anyone has to say. I got into nurisng school thanks to my grades. They're not here with me. I'll wave to detractors from my GN internship I'm busting my butt to get into.

Keep your chin up and remember that it isn't personal. It's about them and their own struggles, not about you. Good luck with everything!

Keep up the good work! Stay positive and forgot the haters!

+ Add a Comment