Why do nurses "eat their young"?

Nursing Students General Students

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I'm in my last semester of nursing school and have met so many amazing nurses in my clinical experiences. These nurses were patient and willing to take a minute in their busy day to teach or allow me observe.

Of course I have also met nurses who wanted nothing to do with us students. I've had nurses roll their eyes at me when being assigned a student, nurses introduce themselves by telling me "stay outta my way", nurses that don't want me to do anything with their patients, nurses that say "your assessments don't count, you're just a student", I've had nurses say "I don't get paid to teach", nurses that have been mean and rude. Why??? Haven't these nurses been new? Students Eager to learn?

So last week on Medsurge unit in our "teaching hospital" I knew I was in for a long day when I saw my assignment. I worked with this nurse once and had heard nothing but horror stories from other students. I started by introducing myself [received an eye roll], and let her know my assignment included med administration, labs (blood draw from central line), general nursing care, and of course shift assessments. Her response a sarcastic "great". I prepared my meds and discussed them with my instructor. As we headed into the room to administer the nurse was already there giving meds. "You took too long" she said. I apologized and explained I needed to do them with my instructor. She also did the blood draw. My day went on like this.

Frustrated I caught her at the nurses station and asked if we could talk. I asked her "what made you want to be a nurse? Do you remember being a student?" She didn't answer. Then I said " I feel like I am an inconvenience, I want nothing more to be a great nurse and in order to do so I need to learn from someone with the same passion". I then walked away. 30 minutes later she came up to me and said that she thinks we have it easy. Computers and nclex prep courses we are just taught to pass an exam. Although I don't fully disagree I did explain that the nursing field is growing and medical advances, increasing comorbitities, and advancing technology does not make it any easier to learn. She then said "I wanted to be a nurse to take care of people, to be respected, and to make a change... I almost forgot". Aside from my end of shift report we didn't talk again.

Since this day my fellow students have said she's a great nurse, willing to teach and patient.

Moral of my king story -- stick up for yourself and never forget why you want to be a nurse.

My instructors made sure to pair us up with nurses who were willing to teach. If a student reported that a nurse was witchy, our instructors made sure to not pair us up with that nurse again.

Folks, this thread has been very enlightening. I appreciate reading everyone's POV, and I hope I will be able to balance learning with not being a thorn in the nurse's side :nurse:

I was very thin-skinned as a kid, but I've become more calloused just from everyday interactions with others. Hopefully, when I encounter a nurse who is miffed at having me tag along, I won't take it personally. Because what all the seasoned folks have said is true, and we should all keep it in mind - the nurse's first responsibility is the patient.

For those who don't like the term NETY, or say that students/new nurses may be too sensitive to rec'ving feedback, then how would you describe the "Lateral Violence" in nursing, and how to overcome that? As having experienced workplace bullying in my previous career, I would like to know how to keep my head on my shoulders and be prepared for what I "might" face after graduating from nursing school.

Specializes in Transitional Nursing.

I just want to say that I've encountered wonderful Nurses who have taught me so much about the career, how to manage life outside the job, and have guided me on my path. I've never experienced what you describe, other than harsh words when they were warranted due to me making mistakes. I try to look back on all of my mistakes and learn something from them. I'm often offended at first and it takes awhile, but I can usually go back and find where I went wrong.

This is a different kind of example, because I'm a CNA, not a nurse, but I had one nurse at the nursing home who had come from the hospital. I was a new CNA and I though the patient was dying. She was shaking from a fever, and just seemed so sick. The nurse explained to me why she wasn't sending her to the hospital, that they wouldn't do anything different than she was doing, and she'd likely wait a long time to see a doc, etc. She didn't need to explain any of that to me, but she did because she could see I was worried. Situations like that have proven to be awesome learning experiences for me, and I am grateful for all the nurses I have met along the way who saw something in me.

For those who don't like the term NETY, or say that students/new nurses may be too sensitive to rec'ving feedback, then how would you describe the "Lateral Violence" in nursing, and how to overcome that? As having experienced workplace bullying in my previous career, I would like to know how to keep my head on my shoulders and be prepared for what I "might" face after graduating from nursing school.

Don't go into the workplace expecting to be treated badly. If you expect to be treated badly, you're going to find it. Take everything as a learning experience, don't take it personally, and remember the patient, not YOUR feelings, is what EVERYONE should be putting first.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
For those who don't like the term NETY, or say that students/new nurses may be too sensitive to rec'ving feedback, then how would you describe the "Lateral Violence" in nursing, and how to overcome that? As having experienced workplace bullying in my previous career, I would like to know how to keep my head on my shoulders and be prepared for what I "might" face after graduating from nursing school.

I'd describe "Nurses Eat Their Young" and "Lateral Violence" as terms that made someone a lot of money in book sales and speaking engagements.

Lateral violence, while it does exist, doesn't exist to the extent that the term is bandied about. Nor does it exist in nursing any more than in any other field or in the population at large. Some people are mean, some people are bullies. It has nothing to do with nursing except that for some reason, people (especially new nurses and wannabe nurses) seem to expect nurses to behave with superhuman compassion and empathy at all times. Even when they (those with the unrealistic expectations) exhibit behavior that could possibly be described as "bullying" should those senior nurses they're exhibiting the behavior towards choose to describe it that way.

It's easy enough to avoid lateral violence: don't go into the workplace expecting to find it. Those who go looking for bullying, lateral violence, nurses eating their young or whatever the current buzzword is WILL find it -- whether or not it is actually there. Behave with respect toward your senior colleagues, your preceptor and your supervisors whether or not you believe that they deserve it. Understand that some folks are better teachers or preceptors than others, some enjoy it more than others, and few of us are given a choice in whether or not we will precept. Some are better at delivering negative feedback than others, but you can learn from such feedback whether or not it is delivered in the manner in which you prefer. Learn to develop a thick skin -- you'll need it when you have contact with actual patients and their visitors, even if you don't think you should have to have it when interacting with colleagues. As the new person, the onus will be on you to fit into the workplace rather than on the workplace to make you comfortable. I'm always amazed at how many new nurses don't get that.

The vast majority of nurses welcome new staff and want to help you learn to become competent nurses. If you go into the workplace expecting to find those nurses, you will.

For those who don't like the term NETY or say that students/new nurses may be too sensitive to rec'ving feedback, then how would you describe the "Lateral Violence" in nursing, and how to overcome that? As having experienced workplace bullying in my previous career, I would like to know how to keep my head on my shoulders and be prepared for what I "might" face after graduating from nursing school.[/quote']

As you stated lateral (and horizontal) violence exists beyond nursing. I know this sounds easier said than done, but it is crucial to your professional growth to develop thick skin. I'm sensitive by nature, so I had to learn the hard way. I foolishly quit my first nursing job because I allowed others to affect how I felt about myself. I toughened up after that, and now don't care less what people say about me. My job is to care for patients, make that money, and care for my family.

Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
No kidding.

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I've worked so hard to get to this point that I'll be damned if I let someone be purposely rude towards me because I'm there to learn. They were once in my shoes. Even if the person teaching me had it bad during their time, that does not give an excuse to treat those under them the same way.

Whatever you will allow others to do to you as a student nurse I can say two things about that having hung around lots of nurses for a lot of years. You may correctly guess that the nurse is being rude on purpose and that reason may be, though isn't likely to be because you are there to learn.

I will however bet my bottom dollar that none of them does it as part of some revenge or "pay the misery forward" scheme. Most of us see the actions of our elders differently as we move through time. We get why they did/said what they did. If we don't, maybe we know something more about their life that at least explains it. There was one lady that, looking back I can say was a true sadist, but those people pop up with statistical regularity everywhere.

If you have a conflict with a nurse that truly threatens to derail all you've worked so hard for it must be promptly dealt with. This does happen sometimes, but it's usually a conflict of personalities, not because a nurse is out to get anyone who is there to learn.

I have found during my clinical experiences that the nurses who are nasty (and I mean "mean-nasty", not I-don't-have-time-for-you-because-I'm-so-busy-my-head's-gonna-pop) are just nasty people by nature. It wouldn't matter if they were a nurse, a lawyer, a teacher, an underwater basket weaver...they'd still be nasty. And my motto with those kind of people is kill 'em with kindness...they have nowhere to go. I get the frustration with the nurse passing meds you were assigned to pass and things such as that, but you really have to just figure it is what it is. You can't go back and re-do what s/he already did. I agree with other posters who commented on developing thicker skin...the students I see struggle in clinicals are the timid and shy students who let others push them around. That confidence we're suppose to show in front of patients also goes for dealing with staff (and confidence does not equate to arrogance...those are two different beasts). We've had nurses who are even nasty to our instructor (who's been a nurse for like 40 years) so it's not just students. I "try" to keep in mind that I don't know what lead up to that person being less-than-cordial on that particular day (although, like I said, some people are always like that :/), and sometimes it's hard to keep being nice...BUT, those are the people who probably would appreciate a "Is there anything I can help you with?" They may growl back, but keep your head up and keep on keepin' on. I figure if nothing else, the nasty nurses/staff are the ones who teach you how to deal with less-than-kind people...and even though you think they aren't "teaching" you anything that day, they in fact ARE. Good luck!

I was a timid first semester student....with my instructor, with my classmates, with the floor nurses...I learned quickly to pretend it didn't bother me...such is the process of growing a thicker skin. Of course, it wasn't until I ran into a particularly nasty group of underwater basket weavers that I truly honed that skill. :) You have to let what you perceive as "attitude" roll while taking constructive criticism to heart and letting it make your practice better.

Specializes in Peds/Neo CCT,Flight, ER, Hem/Onc.

Those of us who have actually been victims of true lateral violence really don't appreciate the term being applied to every negative encounter, no matter how minor, that people seem to be complaining about.

eye-rolling, not listening, brusque responses=bad attitude

getting fired because a nurse who doesn't like you reported you for diverting drugs (which was a lie)=lateral violence

Do you guys see the difference? The bad attitude is wrong, believe me, but it's impact is usually temporary. These are the things you need to develop a thick skin towards. Lateral violence has much more underlying malintent and the consequences can be much more dire.

Specializes in public health, women's health, reproductive health.

Just like there are some really nasty people in the general world, there are some in the hospital world. I've encountered them unexpectedly, without looking for any such thing. They make themselves known and generally wreck your day unless you figure out how to filter them out or shake them and their nastiness off at the end of a clinical day. I have perfected my smile and be quiet mode in the face of pure MEAN. Most of the time, it isn't personal. They've "got issues" or they are having a bad day. Then there are the gems that make all the difference. I wish there were more of them.

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