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Why wouldn't this cost of living hack work for California?

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myoglobin has 11 years experience as a ASN, BSN, MSN and specializes in ICU, trauma, neuro.

3,634 Visitors; 504 Posts

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by 2Ask

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1 minute ago, myoglobin said:

The thing about Dave Ramsey's advice is that you have to share common goals (he also doesn't like separate finances).  If two people want radically different thing (ie one doesn't want to live in Hawaii and the other lives for the prospect). His plan doesn't work well.  I don't really care about food, sports, sex, friends, or going out.  I do like snorkeling in clear water, hiking in beautiful places, watching Netflex, listening to paranormal podcasts, reading books, and playing PS4 video games (or more accurately watching my son play them).  That's pretty much it. I've dated three women in my life and two of them were before age 25 (I'm with the third).  I'm pretty much a high functioning Asperger's type of person and for me "Hawaii" (and really Kauai) is my substitute for fine food, friends, sports, sex and most everything else.

Even people with Asperger's need to love and be loved. You have sacrificed years of home equity on the altar of the Hawaii dream. Is the Hawaii dream really worth sacrificing a 25 year relationship with the mother of your child? Snorkelling solo sounds lonely and would get old IMO (not to mention safety with a buddy system).

 

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myoglobin has 11 years experience as a ASN, BSN, MSN and specializes in ICU, trauma, neuro.

3,634 Visitors; 504 Posts

6 minutes ago, 2Ask said:

Even people with Asperger's need to love and be loved. You have sacrificed years of home equity on the altar of the Hawaii dream. Is the Hawaii dream really worth sacrificing a 25 year relationship with the mother of your child? Snorkelling solo sounds lonely and would get old IMO (not to mention safety with a buddy system).

 

I keep hoping she will change her mind some day. As long as I've got the dream I can live with my reality.  I'm not sure if this make sense, but resigning to the futility of the dream would have devastating psychological impact. I've even thought that maybe I could "pay the debt off by 54. Buy a home in Orlando at 55 (to please her). Then buy a small condo in Kauai at 58. Rent which ever one we are not living in as a "rental house" and move back and forth every six months or so (between them). Work until 70 having paid both off by 65 or so. Hopefully, convince her how awesome Kauai is at some point in between. It's a long shot, but it's still a dream and I really need that to study, go to work (part time), and do the other things I must do.

Edited by myoglobin

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klone has 13 years experience as a MSN, RN and specializes in Women's Health/OB Leadership.

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OP, when have you lived in/visited Hawai'i?

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by 2Ask

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Quote

 I literally can't socially smile, and find eye contact allmost painful

So ICU makes sense with intubated, sedated patients, but isn't your advanced degree psych nursing? 

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hppygr8ful has 15 years experience and specializes in Psych, Addictions, Elder Care, L&D.

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10 minutes ago, klone said:

OP, when have you lived in/visited Hawai'i?

This is a good question. Perhaps you have been there on a vacation and it's someplace you want to live some day. But if you are basing your dream on travel Brochures and postcards you might be disappointed. Why not take a travel contract in Hawaii!

Hppy

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myoglobin has 11 years experience as a ASN, BSN, MSN and specializes in ICU, trauma, neuro.

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1. I visited Kauai for two weeks in 2016. I hiked, swam, snorkeled every day. To me it was proof of God’s grace like being granted the privilege of treading in Eden. Also, I do well with people. Perhaps it’s because I really try to sincerely feel love towards my patients and because I’m almost incapable of fake emotion.I can smile but only when it’s “organic”. I think people sense I’m different but most seem to appreciate it something I am greatful for. Before our hospital had a Psych ward I volunteered to take care of the Baker Act clients when others would outright refuse. I try hard, but am not a very good ICU nurse, I’m probably already a better psych NP (although I have a great deal to learn). Thank God for my ICU coworkers who have started my IV’s and made up for my lack of mechanical ability.

Edited by myoglobin

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4,288 Visitors; 358 Posts

Where in FL are you? I make $55/hr at my PRN job in FL with 4 years of experience.. it's doable here too. 

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by 2Ask

695 Visitors; 80 Posts

5 minutes ago, myoglobin said:

1. I visited Kauai for two weeks in 2016. I hiked, swam, snorkeled every day. To me it was proof of God’s grace like being granted the privilege of treading in Eden. 

Dude, have you ever visited Puerto Rico? Has snorkeling on the Caribbean side, hiking in the rain forest, hiking in the desert forest, wild horses, and you can get your choice of a large selection of 2 bedroom beach condo for 100K.

(My dad owns a house near Guaynilla with a view of the lagoon and mountains in the backyard and of the guayanilla bay in the front yard. Very little hurricane damage in case you wondered. My brother visits frequently and knows all the snorkeling spots. Culebra, an island off the east side of PR has the most beautiful beach and Coral Reef- I was there snorkelling as a teen ans still rememeber)

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Gennaver has 13 years experience as a MSN and specializes in Ortho, Med surg and L&D.

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On 6/5/2019 at 12:57 PM, myoglobin said:

Ok, now I've got it we could live in the border town of Primm Nevada, and I could commute to Victorville California which is around two hours each way. Plus I don't think snow would be a problem.  Plus, from the picture it looks like there is a nice casino in town (waterpark as well?) and some quaint mountains in the background.  Probably, could do some gold prospecting on my off time.

I've driven past this plenty of times, when I lived near Barstow, CA. have you ever been to Primm? I'd suggest a visit and a test drive of this commute as nothing more than a recon visit.

Traffic on the weekends for the Vegas weekenders, going either way, is going to add hours to that commute. It is also a highway that can get backed up for many more hours when the semi trucks roll over as they seem to do in those very high winds too.

Jen

p.s. I had no clue until I did this ride just how hard and long and slow and dangerous it can be, especially from Prim to the passes.

edit to add: Primm is a gas stop on the way from LA to Vegas and has a shopping mall, and two casinos and a couple of gas stations, that is it...

Edited by Gennaver

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OP, you need to get this debt paid down before you can even think of Hawaii.  That is an insane amount of debt and literally no savings at the age of 50.  

My husband and I have a dream to live in Hawaii some day.  We absolutely love it there.  But, we are also actively working towards that goal financially.  

I cant quite grasp your thought process on all of this.  It seems like you are extremely impulsive.  You have all of these get rich schemes that put you further in debt mentality.  

I think you need to listen to Dave Ramsey as well.  He’s very good.  The absolute only debt I have is my mortgage.  And I’m actively paying that down so when retirement age comes I can sell this house and have that money to use towards our Hawaii dream.  This is why buying is better than renting.  You are throwing money down the drain every month on rent.  And how will you rent out your house if you rent?

Im with your partner.  I absolutely would not be comfortable with your amount of debt.  I would be telling you Hawaii is off the table as well.  Maybe if you showed her you were working towards paying it off.......   You also could not afford to work part time while pursuing your Masters.  

Are there other reasons you feel you are a terrible icu nurse?  IV placement does not make one a good or bad icu nurse.  I have very rarely had to place an IV in the icu.  Maybe once every 2-3 months.  I’m not good at it because it’s not a skill we practice on often. 

OP, if you want to actually make Hawaii a reality, you need to refocus.  I’m also wondering how you will snorkel and hike everyday if you have to work full time until you are 70?

This California idea is another not well thought out plan.  You are simply seeing dollar signs and not the actual cost.

 

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myoglobin has 11 years experience as a ASN, BSN, MSN and specializes in ICU, trauma, neuro.

3,634 Visitors; 504 Posts

The primary reason I became a nurse was to be able to live in Hawaii. I figured I would work my three or four twelves and then hike and snorkel on my days off. I’ve never really cared about retiring, owning a house, having kids ( although we had one age 19). My significant other initially supported the idea 20 some years ago but I’m not sure she really took me seriously. Also, she is very social while I am more of a loner ( or at least very fewer if that were a term). Frankly, I never figured I would be able to start paying my debt until I graduated NP and had my own practice or a significantly higher salary. Also, I am not “mechanically inclined and ICU is full of procedures that demand this). I “joke” at work that I’m only good at three things: breaking stuff, lifting stuff, and annoying people. 

u

Edited by myoglobin

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not.done.yet has 8 years experience as a MSN, RN and specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

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I have to be honest. I agree tremendously with LovingLife123. Your plans are the absolute opposite of what is needed at this point with that kind of debt. Stability, fiscal responsibility, sacrifice and a LOT of personal accountability are the only things that are going to make this work. Looking at a living situation that actually requires even more debt and investment to make happen (a camper, hitch, vehicle capable of pulling it, somewhere to park it, gas costs, the cost of travel, etc) as somehow being the solution to your financial woes is just bizarre. It sounds more like escapism than a solid plan.

I lived in Hawaii for three years. You just aren't really in reality as far as that one goes.

Forget whether you are "interested" in retirement. You are a 50-year-old male. Your years of good health and ability to keep working at all statistically decline with every passing year from this point forward. If you have nothing in the bank to take care of you with, its all going to fall to your wife to figure out. Not cool. Not cool at all. I won't even mention the terror of having all those debts on top of new bills.

I second the vote for Dave Ramsey's guidance and a whole lot of honest looks in the mirror. You didn't get into this situation overnight and you aren't going to solve it like this. Its just magical thinking.

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