2Ask

Without researching this I'm guessing it means that if I believe abortion and assisted suicide are wrong, then I won't lose my job or be punished if I refuse a nursing assignment where I would be a party to those acts.

Florida will get there https://www.wtsp.com/article/news/health/nurse-practitioners-could-soon-practice-without-doctor-supervision-in-florida/67-a7ab0f42-38c5-463e-9230-e2640cd7386a

And he is free to take it or leave it. I've found that 18 year old children have a mind of their own- some more than others. My 19 yos is more likely to do the opposite of any "advise" I give so I keep my opinions to myself lest he really go off the rails trying to prove something.

I really liked your idea of doctors and nurses OWNING a hospital. It is visionary. You have mentioned that primary care docs in Florida are dissatisfied with their income, as are nurses. Florida might be the PERFECT place for an idea like that to come to fruition! https://aapsonline.org/surgery-centers-with-cash-friendly-pricing/

Get some nursing experience and certifications (eg PCCN). Then you will be competitive for a job in SD. If you avoid job hopping that will also help your prospects (there are SD hospitals who will pay $2500 to relocate an experienced nurse- but they are looking for a track record of someone who will stay for awhile). I would suggest reading other threads @ Cali. Some like it and some hate it. Also plan way ahead to get your endorsement. It takes 4 months and a pile of cash. With 2-3 years of good experience and a certification or two, you can land a job here.

At 15K you are still saving at least 60K (and much more compared to private school tuition). And 15K will be easy to cash-flow out of 180K income. Hopefully your son can live his own life and make his own choices: to date or not, to live in the dorms, and even career- is it his own idea to do nursing? Your utilitarian view of others as extensions of yourself (he should adopt your aspie isolation)- tools for you to use to further your ambitions (he and SO should be cogs in your business machine)- seems like it could be oppressive for a teenager (and SO). They are people with their own desires, interests, and dreams. ISTM Love would see them.

You can't do it without her and she doesn't want to do it. You sound frustrated by that but it is the reality. Based on what you have said about her, she sounds like she is sensible and makes smart decisions. It would not be smart to throw away your son's Bright Futures opportunity at a Florida college by giving up residency at this point. That would put your family another 60-80K in the hole... and your SO does not strike me as the type of person to make expensive mistakes like that.

If your son is a good student and graduates high school in Florida, he should qualify for Bright Futures which means he can go to a state school tuition free if I am not mistaken. With 180K income, she will have no problem covering the rest of the college expenses for him.

Action- lay down my dream of Hawaii because it is disruptive to my family and my SO does not want to do it. Stop saying "I love you" while trying to argue and armtwist SO into my plan for her life. Does not mean you have to give up hiking and snorkelling as I have said previously (nor even Kauai in moderation- you could plan a two week trip there to reward yourself after you completely pay off your debt)

Does she have insurance? Couples counseling might help you to hear her. I bet she wasn't on board with you going into all that debt either... She is a smart and savvy woman. You would do much better to partner with her instead of making all kinds of plans without her and insisting your way is the only way. If you keep pushing she might just weary of the drama and discontent and send you on your way and you will be poorer for it, myo (and I don't mean $) You say you love her and your son? What is love?

OK and she is happy, settled, and successful in FL so if you make 80K you pay half the rent and expenses and put every other nickel to debt. And why might that be? IMO It comes across controlling that you want her to do this, this, and this that turns her life upside-down. A woman does not feel loved when the man she loves is controlling and unwilling to compromise. To her, it must feel like you love your dream (pipedream- I would call it) and not her and your son.

She's by the ocean where she can swim NOW. She makes 180K NOW. Hawaii is far FAR more expensive. Her child lives in Florida and maybe will be in college there. She is rooted there - family? Friends, etc... If I was her, I wouldn't move. myo, seize the day and ONE day at a time. Next week you can go hiking (Smokys). Next month you can go snorkeling (the Keys). Send her to the thread and see what she says. Honestly your version of the future and reality seems unrealistic and risky and I wonder if at some level you are jealous of her success (you followed her footsteps into nursing and you want to duplicate her salary, etc.... )? I also wonder at some level if you would undermine her success uprooting her and pushing for all these changes?

Myo, Do you think your partner would be willing to read the thread and comment? Unlike some others, I can see you two staying together- there's a long history with her, apparently she is very tolerant and very wise (keeping out of your debt, dealing with the lack of intimacy, etc.), and Aspies need love and relationship too. Can you see from some of the reactions how blessed you are to have such a tolerant partner? Apparently she likes Florida and does not want to move. Are you willing to make some adjustments and compromises in your goals to demonstrate love and commitment to her? My suggestions have been along the line of "bloom where you are planted". Kauai is not the only enjoyable place to hike and snorkel on the planet (and TBH I think you have highly idealized it based on a long ago two week experience!) Take your son hiking in the Smokys ASAP and let that be your first hiking adventure with him of many (I have a bucket list to hike in all the national parks- Yosemite and Sequoia with my teen son is next week). If he or your SO don't want to hike with you, go alone. go snorkeling in the Keys and the Caribbean right nearby Florida. There are several Caribbean islands that are American- no passport needed and cheap flights from Florida live on your SO's income exclusively and use every nickel of your income for the next three years- 80K/yr in Fl you said- to pay off the debt rapidly.

Puerto Rico is part of the US- it is a "commonwealth". Pretty much everyone speaks at least some English as it is a school requirement from Elementary school on. I would not suggest working in PR. I would suggest planning some nice budget conscious week-10 day vacations there to "scratch the itch" for snorkeling and hiking while living and working in Florida. If you love it and want a condo there, they are not prohibitively expensive. I also suggest hiking trips to the Smoky mountains- NOW- next few days you have off- it would be a nice male bonding adventure with your son. I'm headed for Yosemite next week with my teenage son just as soon as school lets out for summer. If it was me I would rather seize the day and have adventure NOW. I'm going snorkeling NOW with PTO days. Trip all booked for Sept. And I don't have to move away from my family and live and work in Hawaii to do so.

Dude, have you ever visited Puerto Rico? Has snorkeling on the Caribbean side, hiking in the rain forest, hiking in the desert forest, wild horses, and you can get your choice of a large selection of 2 bedroom beach condo for 100K. (My dad owns a house near Guaynilla with a view of the lagoon and mountains in the backyard and of the guayanilla bay in the front yard. Very little hurricane damage in case you wondered. My brother visits frequently and knows all the snorkeling spots. Culebra, an island off the east side of PR has the most beautiful beach and Coral Reef- I was there snorkelling as a teen ans still rememeber)