Do you think your partner would be willing to read the thread and comment?
Unlike some others, I can see you two staying together- there's a long history with her, apparently she is very tolerant and very wise (keeping out of your debt, dealing with the lack of intimacy, etc.), and Aspies need love and relationship too. Can you see from some of the reactions how blessed you are to have such a tolerant partner? Apparently she likes Florida and does not want to move. Are you willing to make some adjustments and compromises in your goals to demonstrate love and commitment to her?
My suggestions have been along the line of "bloom where you are planted". Kauai is not the only enjoyable place to hike and snorkel on the planet (and TBH I think you have highly idealized it based on a long ago two week experience!)
Take your son hiking in the Smokys ASAP and let that be your first hiking adventure with him of many (I have a bucket list to hike in all the national parks- Yosemite and Sequoia with my teen son is next week). If he or your SO don't want to hike with you, go alone.
go snorkeling in the Keys and the Caribbean right nearby Florida. There are several Caribbean islands that are American- no passport needed and cheap flights from Florida
live on your SO's income exclusively and use every nickel of your income for the next three years- 80K/yr in Fl you said- to pay off the debt rapidly.