Where's my thank-you card?

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I feel a little silly writing this, but I want to hear from other nurses and maybe you can shed some light on this. Ok..I feel a little stupid but here goes...I work in a small hospital as a labor and delivery nurse. Although, as everyone knows the 3-11 shift can be crazy busy, I do my best to give great care and anticipate needs before the patient even asks. I'm not going to go on a brag fest but I think I'm a good nurse with a good attitude...well...I'm starting to question if there is something that I'm doing wrong. Another nurse that I work with (we work the same shift and have similar schedules) is CONSTANTLY getting gifts of gratitude from her patients...At least once a week a former patient of hers comes back to the unit with a "goodie basket" or flowers or a card thanking her for her for the care she gave. Of course she shows me the card and I tell her, hey..."her name" that's great! I'm not jealous, but I'm starting to wonder if there is something that I'm doing wrong that I'm not having this kind of connection with my patients. At first I just blew it off. But now it's starting to mess with my head a little. Hey...sometimes after I've given all I can give, I don't even get a thank-you..much less a card. I used to think that just knowing I gave the best care I could give and knowing for myself that I did a good job was enough....and most of the time it is.

SierraN...could it be that your co-worker is "silently" hinting about receiving gifts, snacks etc. from her past labor patients to her current labor patients? Maybe she is sneakily planting the idea in their head? I don't mean to sound negative but from the other side of the coin....I must admit I received excellent care when I had my children (at the hospital I now work at!) and it never occured to me to give them gifts or food!

I have also had this happen to me....I have felt like I worked my butt off, built a great relationship with the patient, then not so much as a thank you. For now, I will have to try to be satisfied with knowing that somewhere in the future they will remember the awesome nurse that helped at their birth!

Oh, you mean, like saying I got such great gifts from my other patients that I took care of, so that the current patients think that they are supposed to do the same thing?

:roll

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Specializes in Emergency.

I've always wondered the same thing. What is it that some of these nurses do to get all the praise?? Sometimes I wonder if they don't flat out ask for it.

I'm a good nurse, but business like and not all sweet and smiley so that is why I figure I don't get the thank you stuff......... but I always wonder how some of those nurses do it????

and fried pickles are the bomb!

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I know of a couple of co-workers who say"Don't forget my name when you get a survey from the hospital." I wouldn't do that. It is not me, at all. If they like the care they recieved from me, then great. It is more important that I do what I am supposed to so they and their baby are safe and well-taken care of. I do agree that sometimes, some of the very solicitous nurses aren't doing everything else they are supposed to while schmoozing their patients. I especially hate people who try to schmooze the rich and influential. I always say that they get great care from me., just as good as my MA patients!. I try to give everyone my best.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I do not like solicitous, smarmy people. Nurses are no exception. Either the patients feel the need to thank me or not. Either way, I know I did my job and did it well.

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Former gift receiver here...

I think sometimes what it comes down to is a "customer service" thing. This patient's mother got to know me and we made this personal connection.

Just one person's thoughts, but... I was thinking this same thing as I read the posts. Personal connection may very well have a lot to do with it.

I happen to be a very task-oriented person, for whom things like pausing to greet, making eye contact with and tell the pt. what I am about to do don't come easy. I had to really work to make this a habit. The 'social stuff' has never come easily to me - it has always been an effort. Add to that the task of gaining skills -- the time it takes to mature as a nurse, gain experience and learn to organize one's time to get all the work done without having to think about it -- and the 'social stuff' easily takes a back seat, at least temporarily.

Anyhow, my point is... I have noticed that some nurses really take time to get to know their patients and talk to them in such a way that the patients feel like they've made a new friend -- one they think about contacting again or bringing a gift to. Not to say that these nurses can't remain professional, but that they just take more time to get to know the patient and their family.

Even if I give good care and I am polite to my patients, there may not be as much of a connection when they are discharged.

As to the cards handed to patients...

At our hospital, we get recognized at a quarterly breakfast if our names are mentioned in the surveys. The times I have been a patient, I have wanted to thank my nurses by name, but couldn't always remember them. Sooo...

I printed small cards on my computer (about 2" x 3 ") that had my name and the nursery extension. On the reverse, there was info on how to get breastfeeding help during and after hours. I would hand these to mothers on initial rounds, introducing myself and telling them that I would be their baby's nurse, explain the contact info... yada yada yada. I got a very positive response from the majority of patients, but have not been able to continue it long enough to see if it really helps with getting named in the surveys. (I'm not put in newborn much anymore due to skill issues - usually level II or in charge - oh well... so much for that idea! :lol2: )

The hospital now provides cards for this purpose (getting named in the survey) that we sign for the moms and babies & give to them at discharge, but I usually forget to sign them. :p

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Specializes in NICU.
Not trying to hijack the thread or anything, BUT, do any of you ever get a bit of a sour taste in your mouth when you help a patient labor for hours, hold their hand, coach them, bring them ice chips, blankets, or what ever else they request - all the while monitoring them and trying to make them, as well as their 150000 family members who are in and out the locked doors all night when you have to buzz them in and are alone with other patients, feel special, and when it is all over and that beautiful, long awaited baby is out, they look at the Dr. and say, "May I take your picture with the baby? I couldn't have made it through this without you!!!!" while you are being ignored?!! (Is that the longest run-on sentence you've ever read, or what? LOL)

This reminds me of when I did my OB clinicals. I spent my whole day with a young mom, helping her through her labor and delivery. Finally, the baby is born and the dad was all excited, saying "we did it!" over and over again. Mom just looked at him and said, "WE? This little nursing student held my hand for the past five hours while YOU slept on the couch..."

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Specializes in Level III NICU.

I'm a NICU nurse, and a few months ago took care of this one baby that got NEC, perf'd, went into DIC, etc. Real sick kiddo. I took care of him 3 nights, Friday, Saturday and Sunday and got him from death's door to stable over that weekend basically. I work nights, the day shift nurse who followed me those days got a gift from the family when the baby went home. I got nothing. Now, I do my job because I love it, not for the gifts. But I wondered, what made her so special that the family chose to give her a gift and not me too? (And of course, this is a nurse that calls out sick around holidays, is always snatching up OT but calls out sick for her regular shifts, etc. but families love her for some reason.)

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I don't have cards to give or names to drop. I only have my pt. care and advocacy speak for me. Personally, I hate to be named in Pt. Satisfaction Surveys. It gives my co-workers someone to aim at. :(

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Specializes in Staff nurse.

...but it is so nice after a long hectic shift with very ill, demanding pts and/or families for a "thank you" from a co-worker you helped or a pt. you helped. I know I have done a good job and my best for pt. advocacy...

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Specializes in Med/Surge, Psych, LTC, Home Health.

At my old hospital, they handed out pt. satisfaction surveys to ALL of the patients that got discharged from our floor; then at the end of every month the results would be taped to the wall in a couple of places on the unit. My name **RARELY** ever got mentioned, but there were always nurses on the unit whose names got mentioned a bunch. Used to really make me feel bad, but I think I learned not to let it. I don't have that super outgoing personality; I'm a total introvert. Plus I work nights. Taking those two things into account... I just learned not to let it bother me or make me think that I wasn't doing a good job.

As an aside: after I had my little girl, I made cookies and took a plate to the OB unit, and addressed the little card to the WHOLE unit. And come to think of it, most patients in the hospital that I worked at did that; would send gifts for the entire units, not just one nurse. Now, individual nurses and techs would often get *cards*, but I very rarely saw individual workers get gifts. Unless I just didn't know about it. Maybe what the OP described is more common in the VERY rural hospitals?

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You may want to observe these nurses who get so many thank-you's in action. Identify what it is that they are doing that you are not. Then incorporate that into your practice. Patients don't always recognize excellence in quality care. What they pick up on are those other little things that the caregiver does. Continue with the excellent quality care that you provide while adding these other little things and you will "knock their socks off"! Also make sure that you take care of yourself. We can't meet others needs if our own are not met.

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It is against our policy to accept gifts of any kind. Well, maybe a cookie of which is to be shared by all. And a thank you is always nice.

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