Where's my thank-you card?

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

I feel a little silly writing this, but I want to hear from other nurses and maybe you can shed some light on this. Ok..I feel a little stupid but here goes...I work in a small hospital as a labor and delivery nurse. Although, as everyone knows the 3-11 shift can be crazy busy, I do my best to give great care and anticipate needs before the patient even asks. I'm not going to go on a brag fest but I think I'm a good nurse with a good attitude...well...I'm starting to question if there is something that I'm doing wrong. Another nurse that I work with (we work the same shift and have similar schedules) is CONSTANTLY getting gifts of gratitude from her patients...At least once a week a former patient of hers comes back to the unit with a "goodie basket" or flowers or a card thanking her for her for the care she gave. Of course she shows me the card and I tell her, hey..."her name" that's great! I'm not jealous, but I'm starting to wonder if there is something that I'm doing wrong that I'm not having this kind of connection with my patients. At first I just blew it off. But now it's starting to mess with my head a little. Hey...sometimes after I've given all I can give, I don't even get a thank-you..much less a card. I used to think that just knowing I gave the best care I could give and knowing for myself that I did a good job was enough....and most of the time it is.

Specializes in LTC, Home Health, L&D, Nsy, PP.

Not trying to hijack the thread or anything, BUT, do any of you ever get a bit of a sour taste in your mouth when you help a patient labor for hours, hold their hand, coach them, bring them ice chips, blankets, or what ever else they request - all the while monitoring them and trying to make them, as well as their 150000 family members who are in and out the locked doors all night when you have to buzz them in and are alone with other patients, feel special, and when it is all over and that beautiful, long awaited baby is out, they look at the Dr. and say, "May I take your picture with the baby? I couldn't have made it through this without you!!!!" while you are being ignored?!! (Is that the longest run-on sentence you've ever read, or what? LOL)

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Specializes in Maternal - Child Health.

She asked her patients to write letters to her bosses! Yes, she told the patients that it would help her get a raise at year end if they had lots of letters in her personnel file. I heard her do this and asked other nurses if they knew she was doing this and they were aware of it.

I felt oddly better knowing the reason for all her letters. I would NEVER stoop so low as to beg for manufactured praise, but I am OK with the fact she did. Don't take the "gifts" at face value, there might be a story similar to mine behind all those treats. She might be telling pts. that no one ever comes back to see her after they deliver, hoping to guilt them into it. Sound possible?

This is exactly what I was thinking! I don't know for certain that any of my co-workers have done this, but there are a few that I have suspected.

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Not trying to hijack the thread or anything, BUT, do any of you ever get a bit of a sour taste in your mouth when you help a patient labor for hours, hold their hand, coach them, bring them ice chips, blankets, or what ever else they request - all the while monitoring them and trying to make them, as well as their 150000 family members who are in and out the locked doors all night when you have to buzz them in and are alone with other patients, feel special, and when it is all over and that beautiful, long awaited baby is out, they look at the Dr. and say, "May I take your picture with the baby? I couldn't have made it through this without you!!!!" while you are being ignored?!! (Is that the longest run-on sentence you've ever read, or what? LOL)

wow - ok that's exactly what happened yesterday...it was running through my mind when I posted my origingal post! I agree 100% that we arent doing this for praise and I know that there is a lot of self-satisfaction from knowing you did the best job you could do, but we are only human and it sure feels good to be acknowledged for all the hard work we do.

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We have a nurse where I work that used to receive a lot of gifts and things. She was brand new to our unit as well as a fairly new nurse and it just kind of made us go hmmmmm? :confused: We have two schools of thought on the subject:

1. She was sending things to herself to try to impress everyone since she was new. (She is a little nuts!):uhoh3:

2. She used to pull up a chair to the bedside and sit there with the patient for a VERY long time while we ran around like nuts doing her work!:angryfire

3, A combination of both! :lol2:

It is 2 years later now and she never gets anything anymore! Additionally, she is one of the rudest, laziest nurses that I have ever had the displeasure of working with and she is privately referred to as the "chair jockey" (since she does not get out of it, EVER!

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

Chair jockey, lmao

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Not trying to hijack the thread or anything, BUT, do any of you ever get a bit of a sour taste in your mouth when you help a patient labor for hours, hold their hand, coach them, bring them ice chips, blankets, or what ever else they request - all the while monitoring them and trying to make them, as well as their 150000 family members who are in and out the locked doors all night when you have to buzz them in and are alone with other patients, feel special, and when it is all over and that beautiful, long awaited baby is out, they look at the Dr. and say, "May I take your picture with the baby? I couldn't have made it through this without you!!!!" while you are being ignored?!! (Is that the longest run-on sentence you've ever read, or what? LOL)

oh my gosh yes. many times.

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Well, it goes to show that most of us feel pretty much the same way - we do a good job and most days we love what we do. I mean it's not a popularity contest! Another nurse I worked with made the comment that she suspects _________ of saying something to the patients that prompts them to thank her with cards/gifts because it's not a "once in a while" kind of thing...I mean it happens ALL of the time. If a couple of weeks go by that there isn't some kind of card/flower/gift basket/gift card at the nurse's station for this particular nurse it only means she was out a lot the week before! I'm not doing this job for the "pat on the back." But, it does tend to make me question what's going on? My idea of patient care is doing all the things that make for a healthy mom and healthy baby - that usually doesn't give me time to make coffee for the patient's family. If I have spare time, I help other nurses, restock our unit, make sure our OR is ready, and restock our rooms. I don't hang around chatting it up with the patients, their families, or the doctors. Oh...and completly off the subject, my absolute pet peeve is when nurses simply ignore the phone ringing, call bell buzzing, fetal heart tones dropping because they're laughing and chatting with a doctor about what they did the weekend before!

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Specializes in LDRP.
Not trying to hijack the thread or anything, BUT, do any of you ever get a bit of a sour taste in your mouth when you help a patient labor for hours, hold their hand, coach them, bring them ice chips, blankets, or what ever else they request - all the while monitoring them and trying to make them, as well as their 150000 family members who are in and out the locked doors all night when you have to buzz them in and are alone with other patients, feel special, and when it is all over and that beautiful, long awaited baby is out, they look at the Dr. and say, "May I take your picture with the baby? I couldn't have made it through this without you!!!!" while you are being ignored?!! (Is that the longest run-on sentence you've ever read, or what? LOL)

yes, lol. i've had a few who watned to take a pic with me, and that really makes you feel nice. i ran into one mom taht i was her nurse during delivery, out at a school function and she was so excited to see me and hugged me, so that was nice :)

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Specializes in OB-Gyn/Primary Care/Ambulatory Leadership.
You just described it yourself, it's the way she comes across, with the patients anyway, her personality.

A good friend I work with is that way - she is SO friendly and personable. She almost always connects with her patients on a personal level, and after a few hours, is joking with them as if they're old friends.

Being more reserved and introverted, I'm constantly in awe of how she connects with her patients. But I have a different personality, and a connection usually takes longer unless the patient/family is particularly outgoing.

I DO believe so much of it is about personality - the nurse in the OP is probably just one of those super-social types that immediately becomes the family's best friend (whether or not it's disingenuous).

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Specializes in OB, Post Partum, Home Health.

We do a follow up call to our patients a few days after they deliver to see how they are doing and one of the questions is to ask if they have any comments about their stay. We noticed that one nurse in particular was named over and over and over. We started noticing that she was named on the calls that she made, she would only call the patients that she took care of (and made sure they realized that she had cared for them) and she would rephrase the question to say "Do you have any comments on your stay? Was there any one nurse that you particularly liked?" So naturally the patients would say something to the effect of "Oh, you were great".

She still does it but everyone just laughs about it now!

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Specializes in LDRP.

I was just thinking about this the other day. Had a pt who I picked up at 7pm and delivered at 0445. She had a epidural, but terrible pain still. I was giving her the preset boluses programmed into the pump (didnt work). Called anesthesia 4 times to give her a bolus of bupivicaine in the epidural cath. He pulled the epidural and replaced it. I helped her reposition.rubbed her back. Bugged the MD for IV fentanyl. none of it worked for very long. then, after delivery, she had horrid back pain. like, couldn't hold the baby was rocking back and forth hurting. gave her oxycodone and ibuprofen and what finally helped was baby blankets from teh warmer on her back.

all that an di felt terrible i couldn't make her feel better. she later thanked me for helping her and said i was a good nurse. i said i was sorry i couldn't make her feel better. and she said she realized that i kept trying and was always doing something to help.

so, it was really nice to have someone appreciate my hard work, even if it wasn't as effective as i'd hoped.

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Specializes in L & D and Mother-Baby.

SierraN...could it be that your co-worker is "silently" hinting about receiving gifts, snacks etc. from her past labor patients to her current labor patients? Maybe she is sneakily planting the idea in their head? I don't mean to sound negative but from the other side of the coin....I must admit I received excellent care when I had my children (at the hospital I now work at!) and it never occured to me to give them gifts or food!

I have also had this happen to me....I have felt like I worked my butt off, built a great relationship with the patient, then not so much as a thank you. For now, I will have to try to be satisfied with knowing that somewhere in the future they will remember the awesome nurse that helped at their birth!

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