When it all starts to seem like too much

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Specializes in Pediatrics.

How do you cope when the things you see at work all seem to be too much, and you don't feel like you're doing enough?

Patients dying young. Patients neglected by the ones who are supposed to love them most. Patients physically hurt by the ones who are supposed to love them most. Patients suffering beyond our capacity to help them. Knowing you will see this more and more every time you work, with little ones you come to love.

And looking at the why's of these situations, which I know have no answers. But I still keep asking. I feel extremely selfish letting all this get to me, or worrying why wasn't I the one to be able to help that certain patient better; when it's not about me at all.

Any insight or just if you understand, will help. I'm really not feeling going to work tonight. It has been rough the past few weeks.

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I've been feeling the same way.

I think I need a holiday, I'm getting one in January... but I don't feel like going to work, just want to stay home and do nothing and hope maybe the world will change and become a nicer place, even though I know it won't.

Chin up, you're making a difference to a least one person when you go to work... and that difference is the world to them even if they aren't getting the care they need at home. If I make a patient smile and laugh, then that normally improves my day.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, DSU, Ortho, Onc, Psych.

Hi perfectbluebuildings

I'm going through the same feeling right now. After having had some awful experiences lately (personal stuff), I came home Friday night after an horrendous psych unit shift, feeling old, alone, tired and defeated by this career called nursing. I didn't even have the energy to cry, I was so tired of it all.

I just don't feel like I make a difference anymore to anyone. I run around on insanely busy units, & in psych, don't even get the time I want to speak with or counsel my patients (which is an important component of psych). I did a 10 hour nightshift this week with NO break, had 7 patients, 5 post-op, one extremely needy, PITA patient who I spent about 4 hours with over the whole shift, then left in the morning thinking: I can't do these nightshifts anymore. It is killing my body as I get older, and it is definitely not worth the money.

I personally think society in the main has become selfish and absolutely obsessed with looks & youth. The old, the dying, the needy people are ignored or kicked aside. Neighbours don't know their neighbours now, and don't help out when someone is ill (we are all 'too, too busy'). Parents can't spend time with their kids playing a simple game or talking re problems cos they both have to work to pay off that big mortgage, the new car, new plasma Tv & new Wii set/games to keep the kids occupied cos u can't spend time with them (it's a vicious circle isn't it!). Simple pleasures are now seen as a waste of time. U have to spend a lot of money in our society now to make the kids happy, productive people or to 'fit in' with the high-flyers (who are probably all stressed-out paying for their botox & wondering what the next new invention is they can buy).

Nobody cares re the old and the dying, and the worse ever time for this is at Xmas. We get so many people in psych who want to be admitted over Xmas cos they have no family who care about them, & are alone. All they want is a nice dinner and someone to talk to. Our society, I think, has lost it's way as people still need that coummunication from others, that compassionate word, that touch of the hand, and that laughter to help them cope.

Sounds like u work with kids, I don't unfortunately. And I don't see how it is all going to change. So I have no real advice. U can only do the best u can every shift. I tell myself I can't change the world. But I try to give what I can to every patient at work, to make their lives a bit happier. There is a real lack of joy & happiness in the world right now, and it is only going to get worse, I think, unless people get back to helping and caring for, other people, and family orientated values are big again on everyone's agenda.

I hope you don't take too much on from work, but it is hard. Can u take some days off, go for a long walk, go our 4 lunch/coffee with a friend, get away from it all?

Anyway hope u feel a bit better, email me if u wanna talk more.

Caza

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Specializes in Med/Surge, Psych, LTC, Home Health.

When having to read chart after chart after chart, containing information about children who had been horribly abused, neglected, or born to drug or alcohol addicted mothers... when all of that got to be way too much, that's when I changed specialties.

I'm now working in a nursing home, and I feel like I will always have a purpose, because the people that I care for every night, literally would not survive without my help. This is their home, and I'm their caregiver.

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I cope by accepting that while I can't change their circumstances, I can make a difference for the short while that I am with them, by caring and helping them the best way that I can. We will never know the reasons for the heartache we witness. I recite the Serenity Prayer to myself frequently and move on to do what I can. Stay strong, you do make a difference.

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Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU.

You are PTSD'ing. (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Go talk to someone....

You ARE burning out and fast...go STAT.

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Specializes in Pediatrics.

Thanks for your insights. I actually got called off (for now) for tonight for low census, which I'm glad about, and tomorrow I'm going to see a friend for coffee and chat and I think that will help. I do have a quote that I like and try to remember, "we cannot do great things, we can only do small things with great love." But it can be hard to remember.

I am not very articulate but when I figure out the best way to deal with this for me, I will keep you all posted.

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I once asked a social worker at a hospital how they can deal with everything they deal with day in and day out. I had a great social worker recommend a book that I think you may want to check out one day. It's called Trauma Stewardship and it teaches ways to deal with how to care for people without taking on the world's problems (which it sounds like you are doing right now).

I'm glad you are going to talk with a friend and hope that everything works out for you. Keep your chin up and try to take some time for yourself. Let us know how it all turns out.

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Specializes in Pediatrics.
I once asked a social worker at a hospital how they can deal with everything they deal with day in and day out. I had a great social worker recommend a book that I think you may want to check out one day. It's called Trauma Stewardship and it teaches ways to deal with how to care for people without taking on the world's problems (which it sounds like you are doing right now).

I'm glad you are going to talk with a friend and hope that everything works out for you. Keep your chin up and try to take some time for yourself. Let us know how it all turns out.

Thanks for the recommendation- that looks like a REALLY good book (I checked it out on Amazon) I think I'm going to order it, sounds like it has a lot of good insights.

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Specializes in ICU.

I'm not sure that I ever feel like I'm doing enough either, so I can relate.

When it all feels too much, I do three things; first I allow a period of time to reflect on what I could have done differently (I set this time, or else I will get caught up for hours and even more stressed) then I go home and hibernate for a bit, just to come down from the sensory overload, and lastly, I recover with something to balance out the sadness, such as meeting up with friends.

Hope you feel better.

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Specializes in Peds Medical Floor.

I try to remember that these things happen whether or not I work in nursing and at least by working in nursing I can do my small part. :redpinkhe

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Nobody is suffering beyond our capacity to help them even if all we do is offer them a drink of water or hold their hand for a little while.

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