When "The Calling" wears off?

[eriksoln]

Believe it or not, this isn't another debate over: Is nursing a calling or a job?

We all have our own reasons for entering nursing as our career of choice. Some feel a biblical calling that makes them feel they can change the lives of others in a positive way. Good for you, I'd love for you to take care of my parents if they were ill. Some see it as the job that fits them best because nursing offers different schedules (nights or days, weekends etc....) and it works well for them. Good for you, if your home life is in order, it will show in your work, glad to have a positive attitude on board. Others might be attracted to the daily changes and challenges nursing offers. Great, love someone not afraid to step up to the plate, if I have a massive MI I bet you'd do wonders to help save me. The list I'm making here could go on for infinity........three times.

Whatever your reason for becoming a nurse, you have to care on some level. That goes without saying. Nursing offers a lot, but not enough to attract the "business minded folk". I believe we are all where we are meant to be at this point in time. Whatever our "calling" is or wherever it comes from, I'm glad you're here.

What to do though when our "calling", the motivation that brings us into nursing, goes unsatisfied or.........saturated with satisfaction?

I got into nursing because I was brought up believing one should always strive to be of the utmost asset to their community as they can. I feel good healthcare and a good experience with a nurse during troubled times does this. I give the best of me I have to offer my patients and go home feeling "I've done my part, I am living not just existing."

Now, a little over five years after my first day as a nurse and much the wiser, I wonder about that. Finding the healthcare field so polluted with "business minded folk" and so many other energies pulling against me while I try to deliver good nursing care has been a big disappointment for me. I have, to a degree, lost my confidence that "good healthcare" can be delivered in today's medical model. The reasons for this are numerous and varied but, believe me in this.......they are not imagined nor just a reflection of me having a couple bad days at work.

So, here I am, with my "calling" going unsatisfied. I don't feel like a "valuable community member" most days and I certainly don't feel I am able to serve my fellow man/woman in my role as a nurse these days. I often feel as though I am a marionette with the strings being pulled by people who could care less about the patient and I am being forced to perform a dance that is nothing like what I got into nursing for. It is very difficult for me to convince myself to go to work some days, I often say to myself "Eh, why bother, another day of me running around trying to just keep people safe all the while people's needs go unmet and ignored. And, in the end, of course, it'll be my fault because we all know hospitals are staffed and equipped so well (tongue in cheek).

My "calling" has pretty much vanished and gone away. Yes, I am guilty of being one who goes in just for the paycheck and doesn't believe I make much of a difference anymore. Too many years of playing "donkey carrot" hoping to find a situation where I could help and not finding it have put me in a mood where I just do work because I have to work.

So what keeps you going when you are down and out about the quality of care being given these days?

Me: Well, I like that I can do things with my parents and enjoy their company while they are still healthy. Before I was a nurse, I couldn't pay for anything myself and didn't own a car, so including me in family gatherings was a bit of a pain. Not so anymore.

I also have my kittens, Calvin and Hobbes, to help my mood. I often have to look at them to find reasoning not to call off. If I don't take care of them, no one else will and they are two perfect little angels. No reason they should suffer just cause I can't figure this stuff out.

Yes, my reasons for continuing to be a nurse are kinda skimpy and self serving, but its what gets me to work anyway. I'm going for my BSN and then my MSN in Informatics, because I think I can accomplish something in that area. Then I'll have a whole new, refreshed "calling" to keep me going. Till then, guess it'll have to be what I got for now.

[lady constance]

i think you are being too myopic.....

you need to know your value, but lets face it, aint no one gonna tell you...

but your answer is where you are not looking... at and in the eyes of your patients...

did you make a difference? how do you know? for sure?

one rain drop aint much... but a million refreshes things, or can flood things...

KINDNESS IS LIKE A RAIN DROP...be kind... to everyone and YOURSELF...

you dont give to GET, you give that you might RECEIVE..........

i have been doing this for 27 years....

you possibly are burned out..

maybe it is time for a change to a different kind of nursing?

tell me........ what are your hobbies? what are you passionate about? tell me how you care for yourself???( because if you cant care for yourself, you aint caring enough for others!!)

[chicookie, BSN, RN]

Personally I think you should start looking for something off the floor. Something that inspires you and challenges you in a different way. I haven't been a nurse for that long but I've been on both sides. The floor was hard and I never felt like I was doing anything for anyone, but now that I am in a position where it's more one on one care I feel like I am making more of a difference. I feel like it's worthwhile. Don't get me wrong I am starting to go down the I'm here for money road but I think it's like someone else stated it comes and goes.

I know you want to go into informatics but you seem more of the college professor type to me. I don't know you obviously, but the little bit that I have read about you reminds me of my philosophy professor and to some extent my concepts instructor. Really that is the best aspect of my job right now, teaching the community. Seeing someone understand something they didn't understand gives me the wow I got through to someone today and I might have made a difference.

If you want to use your nursing skills to make an obvious difference I would think something like doctors without borders and such are the way to go. I work in a first aid department done through my religion and I am sent to devastated areas after a natural disaster and though it's exhausting work, that was like a real this is why I am a nurse moment and you really do feel like you saved a life. None of this administration said this and this crap. You go and help people without all the politics. Well there is some politics just not as much.

You are a good guy, and even though I don't know you, I am sure you get to where you need to be. Treat yourself to a donut or something!

[joannep]

After 30 years of working as a nurse I work to pay the mortgage, eat, have a vacation and have a life. I don't give a brass razoo about politics or anything else. I work for money.

[tewdles, RN]

Over the years I have been in situations where I did not enjoy my particular job very much...in fact, I have despised a few. But nursing as a profession, a career, or a work identity has been a dependable path for me.

I have been married for more than 30 years...it has NOT always been great, but it has always been there, as a back drop for my life. At this point it is very comfortable, and reassuring, and enjoyable and I couldn't imagine life unmarried.

I have been a nurse for more than 30 years...it has NOT always been great, but it has been there as an opportunity for me to make money, express myself, learn new things, find my confidence, make friends and enemies, and to make a difference in the lives of others.

Just like with marriage, we have to have strategies to get through the lean and mean times. Notice that I have had a variety of specialties in my nursing life...that is my professional self preservation. Don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone. Do something radically different...stretch yourself while remaining true to who YOU are and what your personal life needs from your career.

I believe that relationships are the most important thing we build in our lives...not wealth, not dynasties...relationships. Nursing gives me the opportunity to have amazing relationships with people. Some of them have been scary amazing...I mean like really scary with threats of physical violence and stuff...but, oh my, the stories I can tell!

Examine your heart. Take care of yourself. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water.

Good luck and thanks for a thought provoking thread.

[carluvscats]

I think we nurses could all just do ourselves a favor and throw "the calling" thinking out the window. I mean, garbage men (people?) probably don't even consider if they are "called" to their job or not; they just wake up and do it and get it done. Their job is no less important than ours; I cannot imagine the stinking mess our neighborhoods would be if the garbage isn't picked up. But we nurses time and time again torture ourselves if we don't "feel passion" in our careers. I for one do not think it's realistic to expect passion in something that is so damned draining.

I guess I am trying to give you permission to just collect a paycheck. It's ok. You earned it. Your kitties love that you buy them cat food and cat toys and keep their boxes free of poo and pee.

p.s....... I work on a medical floor.... probably couldn't guess that, eh?

[SageSarah]

As an echo to ladyconstance, one of the unfortuneate by products of nursing is that we seldom see the good outcomes from our work. A patient and family go home happy and well, and within minutes another sick, broken person is in that bed.

I have couple of things to recommend. One is a CD called "Care for the Journey." This is specifically for care givers, especially in the health profession. Another is the workshop "ReIgniting the Spirit of Caring." This three day workshop has transformed and re-ignited more nursing practices than I can tell you; I know of 100s just from personal experience facilitating it.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

Ah, tewdle beat me to it. I was thinking that a marriage analogy fit well here. We start off infatuated but that needs to grow into unconditional love. Then, as time passes, our feelings wax and wane about our spouse. But, that doesn't mean we divorce them. There is no way to stay on that initial high all the time. Not fair, not realistic.

Fortunately there are many roads to follow in nursing. I started off in a rural hospital setting and learned L&D and ER. Nine years went by and I was fried. I quit, went back to school for my BSN and worked casual in hospice.

The stress is so much less, the feeling of satisfaction of caring for another human being is so much better one on one in their home. I love being out of the hospital.

I also volunteer for a medical dental mission to Vietnam and have been twice.

Nursing was not a calling for me. It was a second career choice after considering taking an EMT class when I was a SAHM. Someone mentioned a nursing school and the rest is history.

[porridge]

It's kind of hard to hear the calling any more when you're working under several tons of bulls**t.

[rnccf2007, BSN, RN]

Guess I needed to hear some of the answers on this subject from other nurses. I thank everyone. I feel burnt out from nursing (...and this scares me, because I have not been a nurse that long.) Not because the work is hard, it is. Nothing new, I have always worked hard and have tried to do my best at all my previous jobs, because that is what was instilled in me by my parents. I love to stay busy, however; I question how long I can work 12+ hours with one five minute break. I did not go into nursing specifically because of a "calling." However, I have found that caring for others gives me personal satisfaction. A former boyfriend once told me that I was in the health care profession, because it boosted my ego. Maybe it did, because caring for others also gave me personal satisfaction. Now I just find myself mostly greatful for the paycheck. Never wanted to be this way. Sometimes I envy the garbage man/woman even though his job is so less than glamorous. But....does he have to carry Liability Insurance or come home in tears because he had someone elses life in his/her hands and due to staffing shortages the garbage was spilled on the front lawn? Sorry babbling.

[MandaRN94]

Interesting thread. I have been a nurse for about 20 yrs. Going back to school this Fall for NP. I do not like hospital nursing -extremely stressful and I was burned out like so many of you. When a new nurse fresh out of school is so excited to get a Med/Surg floor position I mentally think "Eh, good luck with that". Will never go back to hospital nursing.