When "The Calling" wears off?

[eriksoln, BSN, RN]

Believe it or not, this isn't another debate over: Is nursing a calling or a job?

We all have our own reasons for entering nursing as our career of choice. Some feel a biblical calling that makes them feel they can change the lives of others in a positive way. Good for you, I'd love for you to take care of my parents if they were ill. Some see it as the job that fits them best because nursing offers different schedules (nights or days, weekends etc....) and it works well for them. Good for you, if your home life is in order, it will show in your work, glad to have a positive attitude on board. Others might be attracted to the daily changes and challenges nursing offers. Great, love someone not afraid to step up to the plate, if I have a massive MI I bet you'd do wonders to help save me. The list I'm making here could go on for infinity........three times.

Whatever your reason for becoming a nurse, you have to care on some level. That goes without saying. Nursing offers a lot, but not enough to attract the "business minded folk". I believe we are all where we are meant to be at this point in time. Whatever our "calling" is or wherever it comes from, I'm glad you're here.

What to do though when our "calling", the motivation that brings us into nursing, goes unsatisfied or.........saturated with satisfaction?

I got into nursing because I was brought up believing one should always strive to be of the utmost asset to their community as they can. I feel good healthcare and a good experience with a nurse during troubled times does this. I give the best of me I have to offer my patients and go home feeling "I've done my part, I am living not just existing."

Now, a little over five years after my first day as a nurse and much the wiser, I wonder about that. Finding the healthcare field so polluted with "business minded folk" and so many other energies pulling against me while I try to deliver good nursing care has been a big disappointment for me. I have, to a degree, lost my confidence that "good healthcare" can be delivered in today's medical model. The reasons for this are numerous and varied but, believe me in this.......they are not imagined nor just a reflection of me having a couple bad days at work.

So, here I am, with my "calling" going unsatisfied. I don't feel like a "valuable community member" most days and I certainly don't feel I am able to serve my fellow man/woman in my role as a nurse these days. I often feel as though I am a marionette with the strings being pulled by people who could care less about the patient and I am being forced to perform a dance that is nothing like what I got into nursing for. It is very difficult for me to convince myself to go to work some days, I often say to myself "Eh, why bother, another day of me running around trying to just keep people safe all the while people's needs go unmet and ignored. And, in the end, of course, it'll be my fault because we all know hospitals are staffed and equipped so well (tongue in cheek).

My "calling" has pretty much vanished and gone away. Yes, I am guilty of being one who goes in just for the paycheck and doesn't believe I make much of a difference anymore. Too many years of playing "donkey carrot" hoping to find a situation where I could help and not finding it have put me in a mood where I just do work because I have to work.

So what keeps you going when you are down and out about the quality of care being given these days?

Me: Well, I like that I can do things with my parents and enjoy their company while they are still healthy. Before I was a nurse, I couldn't pay for anything myself and didn't own a car, so including me in family gatherings was a bit of a pain. Not so anymore.

I also have my kittens, Calvin and Hobbes, to help my mood. I often have to look at them to find reasoning not to call off. If I don't take care of them, no one else will and they are two perfect little angels. No reason they should suffer just cause I can't figure this stuff out.

Yes, my reasons for continuing to be a nurse are kinda skimpy and self serving, but its what gets me to work anyway. I'm going for my BSN and then my MSN in Informatics, because I think I can accomplish something in that area. Then I'll have a whole new, refreshed "calling" to keep me going. Till then, guess it'll have to be what I got for now.

[carolmaccas66, BSN, RN]

I don't really think about it anymore. I just do my job as professionally as I can, then go home. I'd wanted to be a nurse since I was 4 years old. I'm tired of getting involved in the politics, tired of trying to help obese diabetics, who smoke & drink too much, won't lift a finger to do 1 minute of exercise and who won't change ONE thing in their life to improve it, and who don't listen to a word of advice - even when THEY have asked me for help - and then they re-present with the same whiny, whingey attitude. I am sooo tired of these non-compliant, lazy, childish, obese adults raising their children on McDonalds and Hungry Jacks - then telling everyone they don't have time to cook proper meals, and they have 'glandular problems' that affect their weight - endless excuses that don't mean anything at all. And everyone knows they are lying anyway, but we all make nice noises, just nod our heads and agree.

I'm out of nursing soon - starting a new, what sounds like an exciting job - and I cannot WAIT. I just have to get my paperwork all cleared then I'm out, maybe for good.

We will see!

[hiddencatRN, BSN, RN]

Have you thought about trying to do something like Doctors Without Borders? That's the organization that helped plant the idea of being a nurse in my head. I'd love to do it someday but it's a hard commitment to work in to my life at this point.

[obenfermera1]

Warning: this is going to sound REALLY jaded, you've been warned!

You're preachin' to the choir, brother!:redbeathe

Your honeymoon phase is over and now it's time for reality. You have beautifully stated what SO many fellow nurses have experienced, are currently going through, or will be faced with in the near future. It's agonizingly painful to realize you can't fix it all yourself, and even so you still have to live and provide for yourself and your kitties. Don't feel guilty for feeling like you've lost that "calling". It's like a marriage....love and roses at first, then you slowly come to the realization that your spouse has halitosis and passes gas in his/her sleep! Not so sexy anymore! Then the kids come and it becomes less of a romance and more like a JOB. Nursing has become a JOB for you, that's all. Find a passion to replace the nursing passion and hopefully it'll last a while. Then when that one isn't so fascinating anymore, find something else. The key is to HAVE a passion, some personal balance, which will help you continue to be a great nurse while you're at your JOB!

Again, I know all of that will sound harsh to you (and lots and lots of others!), this is just how I've been able to get through it personally...It's not meant to offend anyone, just my two cents!

[eriksoln, BSN, RN]

Sigh. Even my writing is suffering lol.

A better title would have been "When We Can't Hear the Calling Anymore". Ah well.

I'll just pretend it is that.

[nola1202]

You know a lot of people think if you don't "have a calling" for nursing you are not really caring and shouldn't be a nurse...but does my dentist feel he has a calling? Do I as his patient doubt his abilities and skills? Nah, not really.

I've met a lot of fine people who are nurses. For many this is a job they do to make money. I don't see them acting in a way that would lead me to question their depth of caring.

I've got the Jesus thing going in my life, but to say I have a calling implies that I think I am somehow better than someone else. Special and different...and therefore I care more; hence I provide better care than someone who is an artist for whom it is their "money job."

Show up on time, hit the floor running and focus on your work, I don't care why you are here, it's wonderful to have another person to count on.

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

I understand how you feel, its demoralizing to run around, short staffed, too busy, computer big brother (did you give a med a minute late/early)are you kidding me! We have a very irritating educator that enjoys handing out warnings if you are late, sending certified mail threatening you if you missed one of the many required education things. Watching did you scan ok, did you punch ok. Not an educator but just a disciplinarian who is off in the ivory tower telling you how to do things, not in the real world of pt crisis, meds missing, scanner broken, supplies missing or broken.

All you can do is do the best you can. Spend time with family and friends and your kittens. Enjoy your time off and pursue a hobby something that makes you happy, Whatever works for you painting, flower gardening, bird watching. Take a vacation. You just want to do some things to add joy and happiness to your daily life. Find 3-5 things to be thankful for every day.

When I was going thru a rough patch at work, tempting to walk off the job or needing a mental health holiday, I would mark on the calendar when I had a good day at work. This reminded me that not every day was bad.

You sound like you might be a little burned out and depressed, very understandable with current working conditions. If so, consider asking your doctor for some medication to help you with stress, anxiety, etc. I take elavil for migraines and have found it is very calming and lifts my spirits and clonidine for BP can also help with stress, anger, or anxiety attacks even PTSD. It is being used off label successfully for all these issues. I'm not suggesting you take these meds, just mentioning there are meds available that your doctor could prescribe to help cope in general if you feel that would help.

When you are feeling better than you can think about getting a new job if you can find one with better working conditions. But you might want to wait till your feeling better.

[llg, PhD, RN]

I've been a nurse for over 30 years ... and my ability to hear my calling has waxed and waned over those years. Right now, it is pretty low. My motivation is 90% money and 10% calling.

My hope is that I'll find some more motivation/passion soon to give me a few more good career years before I can afford to retire.

[Art_Vandelay]

Sigh. Even my writing is suffering lol.

A better title would have been "When We Can't Hear the Calling Anymore". Ah well.

I'll just pretend it is that.

Ahem, coming from yours truly, aka the Editing Queen, you can change the title.

ETA: The post wouldn't be complete without it.

[eriksoln, BSN, RN]

I understand how you feel, its demoralizing to run around, short staffed, too busy, computer big brother (did you give a med a minute late/early)are you kidding me! We have a very irritating educator that enjoys handing out warnings if you are late, sending certified mail threatening you if you missed one of the many required education things. Watching did you scan ok, did you punch ok. Not an educator but just a disciplinarian who is off in the ivory tower telling you how to do things, not in the real world of pt crisis, meds missing, scanner broken, supplies missing or broken.

All you can do is do the best you can. Spend time with family and friends and your kittens. Enjoy your time off and pursue a hobby something that makes you happy, Whatever works for you painting, flower gardening, bird watching. Take a vacation. You just want to do some things to add joy and happiness to your daily life. Find 3-5 things to be thankful for every day.

When I was going thru a rough patch at work, tempting to walk off the job or needing a mental health holiday, I would mark on the calendar when I had a good day at work. This reminded me that not every day was bad.

You sound like you might be a little burned out and depressed, very understandable with current working conditions. If so, consider asking your doctor for some medication to help you with stress, anxiety, etc. I take elavil for migraines and have found it is very calming and lifts my spirits and clonidine for BP can also help with stress, anger, or anxiety attacks even PTSD. It is being used off label successfully for all these issues. I'm not suggesting you take these meds, just mentioning there are meds available that your doctor could prescribe to help cope in general if you feel that would help.

When you are feeling better than you can think about getting a new job if you can find one with better working conditions. But you might want to wait till your feeling better.

I like this

My judgement gets a bit cloudy when I'm down in the dumps and I make things out to be much worse than they are. This is good soul medicine for sure.

[hiddencatRN, BSN, RN]

Sigh. Even my writing is suffering lol.

A better title would have been "When We Can't Hear the Calling Anymore". Ah well.

I'll just pretend it is that.

Nah, I think the original title is just fine. It's a metaphor already anyway- anyone literally hearing someone calling them to be a nurse might need to be 302'd.

[eriksoln, BSN, RN]

I've been a nurse for over 30 years ... and my ability to hear my calling has waxed and waned over those years. Right now, it is pretty low. My motivation is 90% money and 10% calling.

My hope is that I'll find some more motivation/passion soon to give me a few more good career years before I can afford to retire.

I'm glad to hear that after looking back over 30 years of being in the profession, you found it did in fact "wax and wane." I wonder sometimes, while my motivations seem to be less altruistic and more selfish.........."Is this normal?".

I guess wanting Calvin and Hobbes to gave a good home isn't completely selfish.

Best of luck seeking more motivation/passion. It's a bit difficult to find these days. For me, I think getting away from M/S is the first step.