When to draw the line on religious and cultural accomodation?

[Inspired By Silence]

Should I ever come across a female patient who would prefer a female nurse insert her foley catheter, I will comply with a smile on my face and ask the nicest female nurse on my floor to assist this woman. Should a Muslim male prefer no male nurses (or doctors) be in the room while his wife gives birth, I'll make sure his wishes are respected and carried out and will personally round up the males and escort them to another more tolerant soon to be father.

But should I come across a woman who grew up in the pre civil rights era who does not want to be treated by a Mexican American male nurse, how do I respond?

[Inspired By Silence]

some women do not want a male nurse. some men do not want a male nurse. it has nothing to do with the nurse.

some cultures do not allow you to use their left hands for IV starts, sit with the sole of your foot facing them or put meat and milk on the same meal.. if you don't know these things and you do them, they may get offended.. but it has nothing to do with the nurse.

if someone doesn't like you because they are prejudice, they will make it about the nurse, personally.

believe me, you'll be able to figure it out.

Hmmm... Thanks.

[Batman24]

Very rarely do we get any special requests. If we did we would try and accomodate them if we could.

[tatara]

Just smile. Its not your loss.

[elkpark]

some women do not want a male nurse. some men do not want a male nurse. it has nothing to do with the nurse.

some cultures do not allow you to use their left hands for IV starts, sit with the sole of your foot facing them or put meat and milk on the same meal.. if you don't know these things and you do them, they may get offended.. but it has nothing to do with the nurse.

if someone doesn't like you because they are prejudice, they will make it about the nurse, personally.

believe me, you'll be able to figure it out.

Yeah, racism (which is, basically, what we (and the facility's policy) are talking about) is pretty easy to spot ...

[Vito Andolini]

How important is all this stuff anyway? A patient having a preference in caregivers, I mean?

What I want from my job is an income, not every patient thrilled to have me as their nurse. People are too screwed up to expect everyone to love every nurse. Who cares if they do or don't, as long as you get your check? If a patient doesn't want a certain nurse, for whatever reason, fair or not, accommodate it as best you possibly can. Life is too short to inflict someone on the patient that the patient doesn't want or to be the nurse getting inflicted upon by a patient with a strong preference.

[Vito Andolini]

some women do not want a male nurse. some men do not want a male nurse. it has nothing to do with the nurse.

some cultures do not allow you to use their left hands for IV starts, sit with the sole of your foot facing them or put meat and milk on the same meal.. if you don't know these things and you do them, they may get offended.. but it has nothing to do with the nurse.

if someone doesn't like you because they are prejudice, they will make it about the nurse, personally.

believe me, you'll be able to figure it out.

It's really not always prejudice that you are seeing, I think. And who cares anyway, if it is. Get your check and switch the assignment and don't give it all an extra thought. Stop being sensitive and, I must say, selfish. When people are sick, they need care, not forced change. Pray for them and move on. If you are their only choice, that's different.

[Vito Andolini]

by accommodating you make their behavior worst and continue their ignorance. the neo-nazi you assign the black or gay nurse, just maybe that the ignorant nazi met realize black/gay people aren't that bad. the old lady, give her the hispanic, we're not all "macho wife bitters". we live in a time that, that behavior/ignorance is not acceptable and doesn't have to be catered too. if they don't come back, even better.

The job is not about your comfort or happiness. It's about caring for the patient. It's not about forcing a patient to learn some new view or embrace new ideas embodied in people. Just get the patient well and let her/him go on home.

Say your prayers for everyone to love you but don't expect everyone to love you. They aren't going to, no matter who you are, whether or not that's irrational. Who cares, really? Just do your work and forget trying to force change upon everyone. You might find yourself facing a charge of some horrible crime if you force patients to deal with something they're just not prepared to deal with. Like sex charges, I mean. Do you need that?

Does everyone really have to like you because you're mex/am or black or gay or whatever? Just stop trying to force people and stop needing their approval. Just do your best and accept when you can never do well enough for someone and move on before you go nuts. As a black man, I've had pts not want me. Fine with me. There are plenty who do. And I've also seen black patients and doctors and staff who hate white nurses and white staff. Plenty of "minorities" have plenty of hatred of "majorities". It's just life, discussed here on many occasions.

Life will go on, whether or not some patient loves you.

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

One of the good things about being old is that I no longer feel the need to try to change people.

With the exception of dangerous or impossible requests, there should be no barriers to accomodation.

[flightnurse2b, LPN]

It's really not always prejudice that you are seeing, I think. And who cares anyway, if it is. Get your check and switch the assignment and don't give it all an extra thought. Stop being sensitive and, I must say, selfish. When people are sick, they need care, not forced change. Pray for them and move on. If you are their only choice, that's different.

i hope this post wasn't directed @ me, i have never experienced anyone who has been prejudiced towards me, ever. i don't know what it feels like so i don't know how i am being selfish and overly sensitive.

i'm the token blonde haired, blue eyed white chick... and like i said before, the ONLY one on my floor. i have seen prejudice and nastiness towards my coworkers, who are a very diverse group, and have been asked more than once to give meds or start an IV or do something for someone's patient because they have made them feel uncomfortable... and i have no problem with that... they get care. we just don't accomodate stupidity by switching assignments.

we had a patient recently who said to his nurse (who was black) "oh, so just because that darned obama is in the white house you people think you can get a good education now?"... and proceeded to tell her that he felt like he was in "brown town". if that is not a blatant prejudice, then i must be a moron.

like i was addressing to the OP, he'll know the difference.

and the patients on my floor always, always get prayers.

just wanted to clear that up.

[chenoaspirit, ASN, RN]

I just think its a shame that when someone is sick/dying that their focus is on their caregiver's sex/color/race/whatever. We all went to nursing school, we all are nurses who are capable of providing care. I know people have opinions of hispanics, gays, whites, blacks, or whatever. But we all are people and I wish the world would finally stop discriminating. No, it will not change sadly, but if I am in the hospital and sick or puking, I couldnt care less what color my nurse is as long as they take good care of me. Thats why Im there, to get better.

I had a patient one time who expected me to leave a hypoxic patient to take him for a walk. When he wanted something, he wanted it immediately, with NO WAIT. I explained to him that I was in an emergent situation, which is why he had to wait 15 minutes to be assisted to walk. Do you know what his response to me was?...."I guess I need to get me a ni$$er to take care of me". I was livid! I have a fellow coworker nurse who is african american and I witnessed her at the nurses station crying because a patient refused her to be his nurse because she is black. I just think its a crying shame.

[SaraFL]

Is it really intolerant/ignorant for a female patient to request a female nurse, or the same for a male? I find that hard to believe.

[whichone'spink, BSN, RN]

Is it really intolerant/ignorant for a female patient to request a female nurse, or the same for a male? I find that hard to believe.

I don't think so. It's a matter of comfort and not feeling so awkward in front of the opposite sex. I can understand that, even though I don't really have any problems with a male nurse seeing me in a vulnerable state.